Everyone has narcissistic traits, but that doesn’t make him a narcissist. Narcissism expert Chris Oeuvray explains the four characteristics that make up a narcissist, what a toxic relationship looks like, and why such unions need a clean break.
Melanie is 35 and is in the middle of life. She meets Ronald and falls in love with him. He embodies everything she has ever wanted: he is great looking, eloquent, charming, confident and successful. Within a short time they marry and become parents. Soon Ronald shows his other face. He is choleric, cheats on Melanie, makes her responsible for everything bad. At first Melanie defends herself and the situation escalates more and more often – more and more. She gives in for the sake of harmony and resigns. Her self-confidence crumbles and she falls step by step into his narcissistic trap until she is at his mercy. Her marriage becomes hell. Melanie recognizes this and wants to separate. To prevent this from happening, Ronald pulls out all the stops. He spoils her, in the next moment he tortures her, he finishes her off. He accuses her of being a failure, stalks her until she almost goes crazy. On top of all this, he threatens to harm the children. He knows her vulnerabilities and exploits them shamelessly. She is devastated.
How such a relationship with a narcissist arises and develops, I describe in the thriller "Fatally in love", which deals with the fictitious love affair between Ronald and Melanie. Ronald binds Melanie to him, manipulates her, makes her dependent on him, abuses her emotionally. For those affected and their relatives, it is often inexplicable how someone gets into such a toxic relationship. For the person affected, on the other hand, it is often difficult to leave the narcissist.