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Making new friends can be easy when you know how to do it. Do you have trouble making and keeping friendships? Is your circle of friends big enough? Do you have the right friends in your life? You will get crystal clear tips from me on how to make new friends. I’m going to show you how to attract awesome new friends into your life, how to weed out the bad ones, and what you need to be careful of.
Note: At the end, there’s an extremely helpful recommendation for making new friends from me that has already helped countless people live the life of their dreams. Make new friends with a novel and extremely simple method that hardly anyone knows about. By the way, you will be scientifically proven to be happier… In addition, I have packed a VIDEO as well as a podcast episode into this post, so that you have various possibilities to go deep into the topic of making new friends! You can find the video at the end of this post, you can listen to the podcast episode by clicking on the play button above you. But first, let’s talk about making new friends:
To meet people is easy, but to find true new friends is an art that few can master. Of course, you can rely on chance and see what life throws at your feet. But you can also actively go on the search. If you want to find new friends, today I offer you one or two approaches to make the search more effective and successful.
Why you need to make new friends
Do your friends support you ?
You have surely heard of the famous saying: "You’re the average of the five people you surround yourself with the most.". With each passing day in my life, I personally become more aware of how true this saying is. Watch interviews with famous people. Again and again, these people emphasize that one of the most important things for them was to remove the friends from their lives who were standing in their way. That sounds hard at first. But is it really? Shouldn’t a friend always stand by you and have your back? If a friend can’t carry you, motivate you and help you to reach your goals and be happy? Life is too short to surround yourself with friends who have a negative influence on you. If you’re not 100% confident in your friends, be ice cold and find new ones, no kidding.
Your friends should form a group with you, which goes through thick and thin. A group you can trust blindly. If one of your friends tells your deepest secrets directly, is he your friend at all?
How you can make horny new friends
How high is your bar?
I always see the following problem: The bar for a good friend is deep as a son of a bitch. People tolerate being lied to by their friends, badmouthed in front of others, and blocked in their goals. Why? The bar for friends is just too low. In my opinion, this is because people are afraid they won’t make new friends. That makes them invent reasons like, "We’ve known each other since high school!". That’s fine, but if your friend keeps talking crap about you, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve known him or her.
Look at happy, successful people. What do their friends look like? Probably they are also happy and successful. None of them will talk bad about the other. And now look at you. Are you unhappy and can’t get anything done in your life?? Then look at your friends. Probably they will be as far as you are. You are the average of these five people. You will all be on about the same level.
If no, then go out there and make new friends. But how do you do it?
This important factor in making new friends is neglected by almost everyone…
What does your ideal friend look like?
First of all, what is a "friend" for you?? What qualities in a person do you look for? What kind of things do you tolerate, which ones go against your grain?? Would you like to have a "hoist" with your friends or would you rather philosophize about 19th century literature?? It is important to know what you want. Making new friends works. However, it won’t do you any good if you go out into the world without a clear idea of what you want to do. Otherwise you are looking for the needle in the haystack.
It is important to have a clear objective. It sounds strange, but in order to find something, you first have to know what you are looking for in the first place. As soon as you determine exactly which qualities are important to you in a friend, you will meet these people much more often in your life. This has the following reason: We possess a so-called reticular activation system, RAS for short. This thing really exists! It’s a part of your brain that makes you consciously notice the things in your environment that you’re looking forward to focus.
Let’s say you want to buy a red Smart car. Now that this has slipped into your focus, you will suddenly encounter masses of smarts and even red smarts. The number was the same before, but your reticular activating system provides the effect that you now consciously perceive them only in their quantity.
You don’t believe me? Then concentrate once on all things in your environment that are black. Done?
Now close your eyes and think of every object in your environment that is red. You will probably think of almost nothing. Open your eyes and you will notice some red objects that you did not notice before. The next minutes you will notice much more red objects, because your RAS consciously brings red objects into focus. You will be amazed at how many red objects are actually lying around in your immediate surroundings.
Accordingly, it’s important to know what kind of people you’re looking for. These were most likely there before, you just notice them from the point where you focus on them.
Where are your new friends?
All right, let’s say you’ve determined that you’re looking for new friends who are entrepreneurial, have goals, and like to drink wine in good company. The question now is, where do you find these new friends??
Give this some thought. You will find new friends everywhere, but you will find the right ones more often in certain places than others. As with dating, it’s important to think about where your new friends might be located. You are very unlikely to make new friends who like stoic literature and jazz at the Friday night piss-up in the village discotheque. Sure, there will be one in a thousand people. But as I said, it’s like looking for a needle in a haystack.
But we want to increase your chances of finding the right new friends. Accordingly, it is important to know where you should hang out. Let’s start with the "entrepreneurially active" point. The question now is: Where to find new entrepreneurial friends?
Spontaneously, I think of all kinds of entrepreneur clubs, meet-ups on entrepreneurial things, trade fairs, lectures, career meetings, university groups… You should give this some thought. Google for specific places in your area that are popular for certain things. You’ll find more entrepreneurial people in some places than others.
To use the example find new friends to be more concrete, let’s look at the point "drinking wine in good company. Now where could you find people who like to drink wine in good company?
Personally, I would guess that such people like to be out in more upscale wine stores and at various wine tastings. Making new friends means trying these things out. Go and see who you find there. Are they people who interest you and enrich your life?
Interestingly, you often find very harmonious characters in certain places. For example, an entrepreneurial person is more likely to share the same values that you do, if you are an entrepreneurial person. He will also have goals and place a high value on continuing education. Say: Often people who are in certain scenes or interest groups are similar, from their style of dress to their own values.
Finding new friends is relatively easy once you have found the right places and groups where you can make friends.
You have dealt with the issue of becoming social? Then you can start making new friends now! In general, it is important that you practice. You will only become social if you get out into the world and interact with people on a daily basis. When it becomes the most normal thing in the world, it becomes an incredibly easy process for you to make new friends. Otherwise, it will always take some effort to approach new friends.
If you find it hard to be socially interactive, chat with the cashiers, waiters and service staff of the world. They will most likely be pleased that you are spicing up their boring daily lives and at the same time they are usually paid to be polite to you.
The secret to making new friends
You’re reasonably social, go to the right places in your spare time, and know what kind of new friends you’re looking for. Honestly: That is all.
I cannot and will not give you a formula for making new friends. You should not pretend and adopt some "7 step program for making new friends". The Secret Is this:
You go out there and talk in the right places, with the right people. The chances that making new friends there will be successful is very high. You are very likely to share the same interests with many people there, be on the same wavelength, and thus have an enriching conversation.
If you are genuinely interested in people, everything will fall into place. You don’t have to be obsessive about your successes. Making new friends should be a fun process. In the end you just meet people you would like to get to know better. If you find them interesting, the rest will follow and you may become new friends. Making new friends should flown. It should feel as easy as a feather in the wind. When you reach this state, your new friend making will be a breeze! Speaking of which, by the way, there’s a little extra tip about that at the end of this post.
Attention! The dangers of finding new friends
Some points I would like to give you nevertheless on the way, which I personally find very annoying and in my opinion make a person unappealing. For one thing, you will have problems if you constantly talk about yourself in front of new friends. Give people space, listen sincerely and see if this person is of interest to you.
Furthermore, it seems desperate if you write to your new friends every day in the following days, insisting on another meeting. Just shows how much you want to make new friends and exudes a certain dependency that tends to be unattractive in confident people. Sure, you should always make the first move. Write to your new friends and suggest them a new date. If they are interested, they will respond, if not, let them suggest an alternative and give them time.
Either they are also interested in meeting you or you go out to find new friends.
In principle, there is only one formula: Know who and what you are interested in and go out into the world with it.
You’ll meet new friends who just click and other people with whom you have a nice conversation but don’t make friends. This is similar in dating. In the end, it always comes down to the emotional connection between two people, but that only happens when there are certain intersections in values. You support this process with the instructions presented to you today.
This is the thing you have to keep in mind when making new friends
Do you have an interesting life?
Before I put my keyboard aside for today, I want to give you one more thing to do. If you are looking for interesting personalities in your circle of friends, you should first yourself, a interesting personality become. Have you ever asked yourself what value you can deliver to the people around you?
I don’t mean that you should shine people’s shoes. But: Is your life so interesting that other people would like to be a part of it? If so, then you automatically attract new people into your life. But don’t worry, you don’t need an action movie life to make new friends.
To start with, it is enough to honestly make your new friends feel heard, respected and loved. At the end of the day, it all boils down to feelings and if people feel comfortable around you, that’s half the battle. I really encourage you to read through my article on becoming more social.
Yet: Try to build an attractive life. If you sit in front of the TV all day and can’t get anything done, why should people who have interesting and exciting lives be friends with you?? Successively build the life that is attractive to you. Making new friends will be easier if you are an interesting person.
Making new friends will become much, much easier and more natural. Purely from Logic her: you have an attractive life and are a social person, how can you not make new friends? Ultimately, it boils down to these two aspects: build an attractive life and become a more social person. Otherwise you are forced to actively search for them.
Little warning: don’t become one of those "Networking Robot, who runs around and wants to collect as many contacts as possible, so that he can get some benefit from his "friends". People notice this and only "network" with you because they may also be able to take advantage of you. Thus, you are only in a friendship of convenience that adds almost no value to your life. You only ever get what you are looking for…
But don’t worry, I still have one final tip for you! One of the best tips I can ever give you. What if I told you a way to make new friends and have your happiness skyrocket at the same time?? Sounds too nice? Really works. I have (already in 2.Due to the huge demand, I have written a book that shows you how to have conversations that get under your skin and make friends for life. This novel and simple system has already helped many people to turn simple contacts into friends for life. Making new friends can be so easy….
Making new friends online
One thing I used to ask myself a lot: How do I make new friends online? It seemed complicated, but when I tried a few strategies, it quickly became clear: it’s SUPER simple! I have made countless new friends through Facebook because I follow a very simple strategy. But before I go on here: I have documented for you how I do it. With a very simple guide, with pictures of my conversations, how I set them up etc. You can do it easily and you will make new friends in no time from your PC! Hammer, or?
Why you’re not making new friends…
Especially when it comes to making new friends, I often wondered why no one wrote back to me. After a long search I have found the solution and I don’t want to keep it from you! It’s best to watch this video directly: