How to socialize anywhere: 20 tips for meeting new people safely


Define which new people you want to meet

1. Think about why you want to make contacts in the first place. Define a goal and everything will be easier. Do you just want to get to know people, because friendships are supposed to develop from that? Would you like to make contacts in order to advance professionally?? Or do you have another motivation?

2. Think carefully about who you are looking for and use the principle of red cars. You’ve probably noticed the following phenomenon before. Yesterday you searched the internet for red Audis. Today you think to yourself: Where do all these red cars come from? Well – they did not double overnight. By searching you have simply changed the way you perceive the world.

If you answer the following questions, you’ll be more likely to notice the right people to connect with.

Making contacts online – dos and don’ts

Coachees often ask me if they can make contacts online. My answer: making contacts yes, developing acquaintances no. Social media and online tools like Skype are meant to maintain relationships, not build them. But it is possible if we do it right. Here are some tips for meeting new people online.

3. Make contacts step by step. Avoid that your first message comes out of nowhere and is ignored. Instead of writing a text, first like a picture or comment on a post. Repeat this step over the next few days. The person will see your name and picture several times. He or she becomes curious about who you are themselves. If you write then, you are more likely to get a response.

4. Use more personal communication quickly. The typical scenario: after 10 hours of texting back and forth, two people decide to meet in person. In writing, the conversation seemed fun and harmonious. But as soon as they talk to each other, it’s just a halting conversation. Of course, after all, they both had a lot of time online and an emotional distance to think about the answers carefully. Chatting is very impersonal and ineffective to really build contacts.

So if you meet someone online, use more personal media as soon as possible. Instead of arranging a meeting right away, suggest a phone call first. Even better is a Skypecall with video. Meeting new people works much better when we hear and see the other person.

5. Avoid phrases like a solitary "Hi" or "How are you??". Phrases make a subliminal statement: I have nothing to contribute and nothing Better to do. Entertain me. Write a longer text in which you offer something. Be it a polite compliment, something the other person is interested in or a conversation starter.

6. Look for local online groups on topics that interest you. It is easier to keep local contacts than long distance ones. That doesn’t mean you can’t have friends in other cities. It will just be a lot harder.

Meet new people in associations and closed groups

I gave a workshop on networking at a career fair. An older gentleman described the following situation: "I post to the groups on Facebook, Xing, and LinkedIn, but rarely get a response. For example, I wrote lastHey, I’m new in town and I’d like to meet new people. But no one has contacted them." Why?

7. Avoid asking for meetings in open online groups. Any stranger can join an open group on Facebook, Xing and co. join. Since few people would spend a Saturday with a stranger off the street, this doesn’t work online either. That’s why very few people respond to such questions. The risk is too great that the blind date will be a flop.

8. If you ask for a meeting, do it in closed groups. Associations, non-profit organizations or clubs are a good place to start. For example, Lions, Rotary Clubs, Thousands or Global Shapers. Because members are chosen, they trust each other. These organizations often have closed Facebook groups as well. If you are a member, it is much easier to meet new people in other cities.

Make contacts through acquaintances

9. By asking people you know, you’ll meet new people quickly. Let’s imagine you want to make contacts in your industry. You can tell acquaintances and ask them to let you know when they meet someone. Making contacts through acquaintances is very effective. For one thing, friends of yours filter out right away who you don’t get along with. On the other hand, a "warm introduction" or. a recommendation through a friend equals trust.

10. Look for key people. Think about who knows a lot of people you want to meet.I call it key person because these people literally open new doors for you. For example, the head of an association, in your industry. Also organizers of events know many people. Through these people you can meet a lot of new people. Provided you tell them really clearly what you are looking for – see Tip One.

When you make friends with someone like this, it’s like someone piggybacking you. This is what I did for a friend who just moved to Berlin. He made all the contacts directly or indirectly through me and I was very happy to help him with that.

At which events you can meet new people

Use public events to make your first contacts. Here is a list of places where you can meet new people. You can also just make your current hobbies more social.

For example:

– Team sports, instead of individual sports.
– Courses and seminars
– Fairs
– Conventions and conferences
– Networking events
– Associations in your industry
– Non-profit organizations, such as Lions or Rotary
– Groups that are job specific – z.B. For marketers
– corporate events
– TEDx Events

– Sports clubs
– sports courses
– Concerts
– New in (place) Events
– Hobbies like painting, pottery or dancing
– Social projects

Block at least ½ hour in your calendar to research possible events.

The bone usually does not come to the dog. Three platforms that I really highly recommend are:

– Eventbrite
– Internations

11. It is worth investing money for good events.

Of course, again, it depends on your goal. Do you want to meet new people for your professional success? If so, schedule a monthly amount of money that you invest in events. The entrance fee is often a filter. This means that only people who are really interested in the subject go to them.


Tips to make contacts at events

12. Do not be afraid to go alone. If you go to an event with friends, you are more likely to stay in the small group. No one is judging you for going alone. Most people are too busy with themselves anyway.

For a few months I went to all sorts of events, conventions and dinner parties 5-6 times a week. It would have been way too much work to take someone with you every day. No one has ever commented on this. If someone does ask you, just say you lost your acquaintance in the crowd and you’ll find him again.

13. Take full responsibility and actively approach others. Making contacts is a skill and needs practice. It can be unlearned and learned. The biggest mistake is waiting for someone to approach you. Imagine walking into a clothing store. What do you do? You look around. Then you pick a department that suits you. And then pick out the exact clothes that fit you.

You don’t wait for the clothes to fly at you – that’s right? When you meet new people, it’s very similar. Just go up to someone right away. I would be happy to help you with this exciting topic:

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