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It is one of the most unpleasant moments in life to be told by your partner the words "It is over" to hear. Feelings of overwhelm, regret and longing overtake us and bring us to the brink of despair. Many singles want to win back their partner then.
In the following, I will explain what you should watch out for.
Why do you want to win your partner back?
First of all, you should be aware of this, why you want to win back your partner. Is your fear of being alone driving you to take this step?? Or is it real feelings that are responsible for it?
Abandoned people are often afraid of being alone forever. You feel overwhelmed by the idea of being on your own for an indefinite period of time. These negative feelings are often mistaken for lovesickness. But financial concerns often play a role as well.
I myself know the unpleasant feeling of being emotionally focused on one person for many months or years. A breakup usually comes as such a surprise that it pulls the rug out from under you. The hopelessness of finding closeness and security is a source of anxiety for many people, as they are left to their own devices for the time being.
Clear your head and try to look at the matter objectively
It is now very important to be honest with oneself, even if it involves pain. Try to tame the emotional chaos inside you and make sure that your intention is not influenced by financial reasons or habits.
Many people want to get back the relationship with their ex-partner because they want to escape loneliness. Not infrequently, a fear of unsuccessful dates also drives them to prefer convenience.
You should be aware that a new start with your ex-partner is doomed to fail if you don’t have the right intentions.
Review the relationship and keep in mind the reasons that led to the end of the relationship. There are always two people in a failed relationship. However, you should not let your anger or sadness influence your thoughts and misinterpret your emotional state. In the end, this only leads to wrong decisions.
Memories can play tricks on us by idealizing people in our minds, but in reality they were quite different. Try to regularly remind yourself of the negative aspects of your former relationship, so as not to have an untrue image of your ex-partner in your head.
Do not make hasty decisions for your love.
Avoid these crucial mistakes
After your partner has ended the relationship, the relationship between the two of you has shifted to your disadvantage. Most jilted singles make the crucial mistake of whimpering after their ex-partner.
Especially men are not advised to behave in this way, because in this way you demonstrate weakness and helplessness. These are not qualities a woman finds attractive in a man. The need for emotional stability in a man plays an important role for women. So do not put yourself in a victim role!
If your ex-partner makes you the offer of friendship, I advise you not to do so. Many people believe namely that they can rebuild a relationship in this way and are disappointed in the attempt. It is not uncommon for the offer of friendship to come from someone with a guilty conscience because they have ended the relationship and want to minimize the damage they have done.
If you get involved in a friendship, there is a chance you will get hurt. You waste your time and energy on a person who may no longer have feelings for you.
So play with your cards on the table if you want to win your ex back.
These two approaches get in the way of a passionate love relationship. So beware of them!
Who initiated the relationship ending?
The question of who ended the relationship plays just as important a role as the reason for the breakup. Should you have ended the relationship, your chances are very good that you can find each other again.
If you are a male reader and want to assess your chances of having a chance with your ex-girlfriend, take the Ex-Back Test!
Realize how important distance is first…
Avoid at all costs, your lover or your beloved forcing contact. Many people tend to be pushy when overwhelmed with an abrupt breakup. By doing this, they hope that their excessive efforts will be noticed.
If the other person is in emotional chaos, you are working against your own interests with this approach. She may feel that she is being cornered in this way. Also, by constantly initiating contact, you prevent her from missing you if you keep forcing yourself into her life.
The need for "even more distance" is then often the result. So after the storm, let it rest for now. Distance can work wonders and awaken the need for you. Because, as you have surely heard, people often tend to realize the value of another person only in their absence.
Reject self-pity and become active!
Now is the time to start seeing people again that you neglected during the relationship. Likewise, you should try to resume goals that not so long ago ignited your passion. For sure there are family members or friends who would be happy to have more frequent contact with you, but so far they have been second to you.
You reduce the chance of sinking into self-pity by shifting your focus now. Try to be active, because this is the only way to avoid moments when your thoughts drift and cause sadness.
So use the time to know what is going on you actually would like.
Stop for a moment and think about what qualities your partner values in you. Perhaps you can rekindle the passion in him/her by engaging in sports or other activities that move you forward in life and make you more attractive as a partner.
Even if things don’t work out with your ex-partner, looking ahead will attract the attention of other potential partners. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.