To love – it always means to open yourself a little bit. Many of us find this incredibly difficult. After all, there is the threat of hurt feelings, insecurity and the risk of abandonment. Pretty scary!
But allowing love is the most fulfilling of all feelings!
You find it difficult to love or to allow love to happen? Do not worry! You can learn to love. Just like reading, writing or swimming.
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Today I would like to bring you a little closer to learning to love. I guess it will change the way you look at your relationships with friends, family, partner and yourself!
Break away from social conventions
I know this from myself. Through movies, song lyrics and books I have a very specific idea how love looks like. And also from the outside the pressure, how a ‘good relationship’ should look like, is constantly increased.
I say: break away from social conventions.
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You decide what love looks like for you. You decide how you want to lead a relationship. It means that you can safely ignore Valentine’s Day – and still have a fulfilling relationship.
When love feels right – only you and your partner know that.
Not everyone expresses love the same way
Have you heard about the languages of love?
This means that everyone receives love differently and passes it on to others differently.
We distinguish between four languages of love: Some show it through physical closeness and tender touches.
Others express their affection through words. Again others give and give gladly. Then there are again those who allow and take love.
How you love and how your counterpart expresses love can be fundamentally different.
Pay attention to what language of love your partner speaks and learn to appreciate this language – even if it differs from yours.
In this Ted Talk by Billy Ward you will learn more about how to learn to love.
Ask your partner questions
Even in long-term relationships we still learn from each other. Because no one stays the same. You both will evolve.
By actively asking your partner questions, you will get to know them over and over again. These can be quite banal questions, for example: "How was your day??" But instead of leaving it at the "Good." that comes as an answer, you check it out.
Talk and don’t stop getting to know each other.
You should also ask yourself questions regularly. How did I feel in the situation? What I found particularly beautiful today? What do I want to resolve for next week? With the "Clarity Diary" you have directly a structured book that asks you questions that fill with more mindfulness and reflection.
This special attention to yourself reassures and shows that you love and care for yourself.
Actively deal with your fears
Love makes us afraid, no question. Because everyone who has ever loved knows that in love you will also be disappointed sometimes.
So getting involved with someone, really opening up and allowing love to happen, is anything but easy.
But instead of curling up in his fear, you should confront it. What exactly are you afraid of? Why do you expect the worst?