A baby can change not only life, but also a relationship. Many parents-to-be face a big decision during pregnancy: should they get married because a child is coming? What possible advantages and disadvantages the bond for life can bring in such a situation, we want to discuss together here.
In 21. In the twenty-first century, traditional models of family and love are increasingly being broken down. The fact that an unmarried couple has a child together is therefore neither taboo nor unusual. And yet, for many lovers, the wedding is an issue as soon as the pregnancy test shows a positive result. There are many different reasons for marrying because a child is coming. Among other things, certain values or financial as well as tax advantages can play a role.
Getting married because a child is coming: finances and taxes
Friendship ends with money, as the old saying goes. But is this also true for love? In any case, it’s no secret that getting married because a child is coming can also be financially significant. The allowance for gifts between spouses, for example, is up to 500.000 euros. That represents a clear difference to couples, which are just not married – for them an allowance of up to 20 applies.000 euros.
Finances and taxes also play a role when it comes to the decision of marriage. ©Geber86/iStock
And then there is the myth of taxes, which hovers like a mysterious cloud over a wedding because of pregnancy. Do married couples have tax advantages or not? Here it really depends on the circumstances. If one of the two spouses has a much higher income, the so-called spousal splitting can certainly bring a tax advantage with it. A joint tax return is submitted by the spouses, who are treated as one person for tax purposes.
The income of the spouses is added together and halved – the income tax is then calculated using the split amount. The result is doubled and forms the amount that the couple must pay jointly. This could well be lower than for individual income taxes. However, it is not uncommon that this calculation does not always work out. If the spouses have similar incomes, the tax differences between tax class I or IV are only slight.
Marry when a baby comes – because of custody rights?
Married couples share custody automatically. ©StefaNikolic/iStock
The decision to marry because a child is coming may be well-considered. For men, the issue of custody could also play a role here. Because this actually receives the child mother quite automatically, provided that the paternity was not officially certified before the birth at the youth welfare office. In the case of marriage, the whole thing looks different. In this case, both parents have custody of the child. If there is a divorce, it will be divided between the mother and father. However, it can also be counteracted with a court order.
Joint custody, by the way, is not only emotionally significant. If the parents share custody, they can save themselves a lot of bureaucracy and have easier dealings with the daycare center, the pediatrician, etc. ensure.
The last name has conflict potential
For some it may be just a formality, for others a reason to marry when a child comes. It is about the surname for the baby, which is just different from one parent in the case of unmarried couples. But what name should it be given? The question could lead to conflicts! If the couple is not married, the offspring is usually given the mother’s name because she automatically has custody of the child. However, if the child is to bear the name of the father, this must be decided before the birth or at the latest three months later. In the case of married partners who have the same surname anyway, there is no problem from the outset.
Getting married because a child is coming: alimony
Who wants to think about a possible separation in a relationship already? But in the question of whether to really get married because a child is coming, maintenance should also be discussed. At this point, however, it must be acknowledged that children are equal before the law. The relationship from which they come does not matter. Provided that the paternity of the man is recognized, a minor child has a right to maintenance from both parents in the event of separation.
Send magical birth cards to all your loved ones to tell them about your little miracle.
Unmarried or married: What happens in case of emergency??
It is necessary to say it very clearly: Married couples definitely have advantages over unmarried couples in case of an emergency. In the hospital, for example, only spouses would receive information about an operation and the partner’s health condition because they are considered next of kin. If there is no special will, widowed spouses can rely on an automatic compulsory share in the event of death and also apply for a survivor’s pension. But with children in such cases no distinctions are drawn. When it comes to inheritance or half-orphan’s pension, the relationship status of the parents does not matter.
Marry for love when a child comes along
Love is usually the deciding factor when it comes to marriage. ©Pekic/iStock
Even in the modern age, love is usually the deciding factor when it comes to a possible marriage. However, if the fire is extinguished before that, conflicts are bound to happen. Because a child should not be the only reason what keeps two people together. If you have any doubts or uneasy feelings in advance, it is important not to fool yourself and not to take a step just because it may bring some advantages. Otherwise, you’ll quickly steer yourself into disaster.
But if the feeling is right, there is absolutely nothing against getting married when a child comes along. In this case, tying the knot brings many emotional benefits – after all, two people make a conscious decision that they want to build a life together and be a family. You make a promise to yourself and experience the wedding much more intensively than if formalities were decisive. Clearly, this and possible contingencies should definitely be discussed in advance. But they are just one side of the coin. The other side is and remains love. And whether this is all that matters, in the end, each couple must decide for themselves individually.
Pregnancy is a wonderful time, but it also has its side effects. We have a few tips on how you can trick the worst of them with very simple means.
The relationship with the child is probably the most important in the life of any parent. Learn how to build a stable and intimate bond with your baby here!
The birth of your baby is approaching and you are already being asked what you want for the delivery? We tell you what is the best gift to give yourself!