"What would have happened if ..?", is one of those questions you just shouldn’t ask yourself. It’s easy to wonder if your entire life would have been different if you had just decided differently at this point or that point. In the end, you don’t get a clear answer, let alone one that could satisfy you. And yet, sometimes you can’t help but wonder.
And, as always, we are not the first and will not be the last to ask ourselves "Should I perhaps have done something differently in this one situation, been more courageous and stood by my feelings"?. Elite Daily editor Jen Glantz seems to have been preoccupied with the topic as well. And so she’s decided decided to write to the boys she never told that she likes them, years later.
Jen’s plan: clean up with her experiences in her 20s and finally put the cards on the table in her 30s. So cell phone out and typing away!
"Hey. Here’s Jen. I know this is a bit weird and funny, but I wanted to tell you that I had a real crush on you a few years ago. I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t have the guts and stuff. So please, I said it. Have a nice day (and a nice life)!"
But what do men reply to such a message? Do they reply at all or just ignore the WhatsApp after all this time? Minor spoiler: It’s all there ..
This is what ex-crushes say when you tell them years later that you had a crush on them
1. The "I wish you would have said something."-Type
No sooner does Jen confess how she once felt, back in college, than the guy doesn’t really respond "Hey, it was the same for me", or? But does he. And although the author of the article is in a happy relationship, she can’t help but feel angry that she didn’t say it before or even at that time.
Note to self: never be too shy to express your feelings, after all, the person you’re talking to might just be a total shyster like you were. Someone has to make the first move.
2. The "I changed the shore"-Type
When you don’t hear from each other for a few years, you may not notice life-changing moments in another person’s life. And that’s what happened to Jen in the case of Peter, who replied to her message:
"Dear Jen, for the first four years of college I thought you were a transfer student because you didn’t talk. Little joke (or something). I’m honored that you told me that. Unfortunately for you, since college I play on the other team ?! I wish you all the best. Peter"
After the answer, Jen listens to herself for a moment and realizes that somehow this doesn’t come as a surprise.
3. Why exactly are you telling me this now?-Type
Then there’s the candidate, Jen’s former coworker, who she didn’t tell she liked for classic "not intimate on the team" reasons. Sure, somehow you wish there was a similar answer, unfortunately he was rather … surprised.
"Wow, long time no hear. Why are you suddenly telling me this now? You know I’m with Courtney, right?"
Yes, thank you, she knows. After all, Courtney is a former customer. Jen’s conclusion: It was nice to just get rid of it, but you could have just left it alone.
4. The". "-Guy
The "…" guy just leaves it at the three little dots that pop up when someone writes. And writes. And writes. And in the end sends nothing. Logically, these are the moments when you ask yourself: Okay, should I have written this now??
Jen concludes that she is happy she did the experiment and that you definitely shouldn’t let so much time go by to say some things. At some point it might actually be too late.