Another inner conviction that has been with me since childhood is the belief that if you do something, you should do it right. Otherwise you might as well leave it alone!
What does "right" mean? Correct means first of all that you do one thing naturally as good as possible. As error-free as possible, but above all in good quality. And with a lot of effort. You have to stand behind it.
This was always accompanied by the expectation that if I only tried harder, I would be able to do even better. When I was a kid, for example, I was always pretty good at school. Apart from some subjects I was a classic 2 student, here and there also a 1, in mathematics and physics rather worse. I achieved this without having to learn very much. If it is not about mathematical formulas, I can generally remember things quite quickly.
The fact that I "only" had 2s didn’t really bother me too much. And also at home there was no "trouble" for it, but nevertheless now and then side blows in the direction of "if you weren’t so lazy, you could be even better".
I also encountered this again and again elsewhere. When I helped with gardening, I occasionally had to hear: "if you’re going to do it this way, I might as well do it myself". Do it right!
It can be done even better, do it right!
In the course of the awakening and in the course of the past years the inner claim has grown out of it: it actually still goes a little bit better. If you put more effort into it, then it becomes even better. Therefore it was always clear that if I didn’t have the energy to do something, I would rather leave it alone. And in parallel, I was seldom satisfied with what I did.
"It can always be done better" or "Do it right" knows no limits. There are always people who are more dedicated. Who can do something better. To find things easier to do. And you always compare yourself with them.
What remains is a persistent dissatisfaction. Because you don’t manage something as well as others do. Because one could get something faster.
Perfectionism makes you tired
At the same time quickly expects you the overload. Because whenever I took on a task or a project I expected to do it well. There is no such thing as "good enough" in this mindset. But what if you want to "do everything right" in your life? If, like me, you are in charge of dozens of sites at the same time, you will wear yourself out and never be really satisfied with your own performance.
I also felt this "sting" for a long time in relation to my studies. I studied ethnology and political science. Political science was really easy for me, because I loved it. I finished the major with an A. But ethnology was more of an embarrassment main subject, where I quickly realized that it is actually not mine. As a late student – I was already over 30 years old – I could not (or did not want to) afford a change?), I went through with my studies. And reached in the end a 2 in it. Not bad at all, for something I didn’t hate but at least didn’t find as exciting as politics. Do it all or not at all! But I was always a little bit dissatisfied, because I was just a hair’s breadth away from a 1. If only I had tried a little harder, for example with the master’s thesis, which I simply wrote down but never rewrote, then..
Right is not always bad
When I start things today, often at the beginning there is always the question if I will get it done. I don’t just start something and see how it goes, no I first deal with it extensively in theory.
When I started compass time also quickly piled up books about SEO, WordPress, Google Analytics and blogs with me. Of course I didn’t manage to read all of them, which immediately triggered the feeling: "I’m not doing it right". I don’t do as well as I could if only I tried harder.
Of course, these inner beliefs also have advantages. Because you’re actually always trying to do it "right", you’re probably often doing it well too. First of all there is nothing wrong with that. But if the personal demand is always high, then there is nothing to rest on. Especially no laurels. Even if there is praise from other people, I praise myself relatively rarely. I am my own disciplinarian. Instead of saying "you did that well", I say "that was okay, but I probably could have done better".
Dealing with inner beliefs
These inner convictions do not simply disappear. Even when you’re aware of them. But you should question it carefully. I work on them because I don’t want them to run my life the way they have for the last few years. Of course I still want to do things well and there is nothing wrong with that. But I want to be less strict with myself.
The automatic, inner programs are in me. And because my life story and my childhood happened the way they did, I will always have to deal with them. But the main thing is to take away their automatism. To use it when it is useful and not with everything and anything I do and start. It’s about starting things and not wanting to do them perfectly, but only as much and as well as it is easy or as much fun as possible.
When I walked the Way of St. James in Spain a few years ago, I came across the saying "no pain, no glory" again and again. There were people dragging themselves with bloody blisters as big as their foot over daily 20km or 30km distances. I got very caught up in that at the time. Although I didn’t have such big blisters, but instead of enjoying the path, enjoying the time out, enjoying the inner reflection, I also raced along this path. At least for a while. Until I couldn’t take it anymore and actually wanted to give up and go home ("if you’re going to do it, do it right"!).
Image by Taliesi on Pixabay
If I were to walk it again today, I would try to enjoy it more. "No pain, no glory" my ass. If you race not only along a pilgrimage path, but also through your life, you will inevitably run out of breath at some point.
It can be easy sometimes. A 2 is really good. Who has a thick blister on his foot makes slower or even a break. If you do something, try to have fun with it. Try to enjoy it.
Good enough is just right.
Do you also have such inner convictions? How do you deal with them, what do they do to you?? Write it to me in the comments.
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Perhaps you are also interested in the contribution to the error 1 "must earn everything". You can find it here: *click