Life control: how to regain it

Life no longer feels good. One’s own drive is increasingly missing. Feelings of powerlessness, anger and despair spread: Everyone wants something from you, everything pulls – on your work capacity, on your nerves. Others have long since taken over:I am only a plaything of the others? – This is how it feels Life control gradually loses. The proverbial ground is pulled out from under one’s feet. Some even fall into a deep hole from which they can hardly find their way out themselves. Find out what you can do to prevent this and how to regain life control here…

Life control: How to win it back

➠ Contents: What you can expect

Strong indications that you are losing life control

Whether one has already lost one’s life control or not (yet), can be clearly defined in the fewest cases. Many people initially suffer from a dull feeling of Dissatisfaction and powerlessness. However, they often cannot explain or describe this feeling accurately at all.

Sometimes they are only short-lived Mood swings, which quickly dissolve again. But if they do not disappear, but become chronic or even more intense over time, this can be a sign that life control has been lost.

For example, do the following statements apply to you more often recently:

  • I think I can never achieve my goals.
  • I feel increasingly controlled by others.
  • I have the feeling that I am simply not allowed to be happy.
  • I can’t get out of my situation – no matter what I do.

Also other indications and Alarm sign can indicate that we are on the way to losing our life control:

  • We put off important tasks without starting them.
  • We give up at the slightest resistance and finish tasks prematurely.
  • We do not dare to ask other people for their support.
  • We have difficulty saying anything positive about ourselves and others.
  • We are frustrated by the fact that other people constantly make decisions about us.
  • We can’t appreciate our own accomplishments and think of ourselves as lesser than others.
  • We often justify ourselves for being so passive.
  • We suffer from fears that those around us dismiss as irrational.
  • Others tell us more often that we take refuge in self-pity and a victim role.

Of course, everyone feels this way or that way from time to time. But those who are happy in the majority of statements ( permanently) regain should counteract – and the Control regain control over one’s own life.

First of all, it is important to clarify with a specialist or psychologist whether there is an underlying medical problem, such as depression. If this is not the case, there are a number of things you can do yourself to regain control of your life.

What we long for

Life control is closely related to the concept of Joy of life Linked. One causes the other.

Accordingly, we should realize that enjoyment of life is not a luxury good, but rather a Human right, that we MAY claim for ourselves. The question should be above everything we do: "Who does it help if I am feeling bad??"

Some people may have learned as a child to suppress their inner feelings Needs and Dreams Suppress to please others. From this they have, over time, restrictive Beliefs developed – and perfected.

But they need to replace them – with positive thoughts – in order to take control of their lives again. The reason is an unholy downward spiral: our attitude radiates to our environment and influences the behavior of colleagues and acquaintances. So, for example, whoever feels the Be delivered and an attitude of humility ensures that many people think they can determine even more about them. In short: The victim role actually makes them victims.

The way to more life control

When we take control of our lives win back If we want to change our habits, it is first important to Basic setting to work for a living.

As is so often the case, to do this we must first change our perspective. This so-called reframing can look like this, for example:

  • Instead of constantly comparing ourselves to other people or unrealistic role models, we must learn to acknowledge ourselves. The way we are. With all their faults and shortcomings. They are perfectly okay. It is Character traits, that distinguish us and especially make. Affected people often concede such an attitude to other people – so why not to themselves?
  • Instead of suppressing our dreams and thinking that they are unattainable anyway, we should learn to, active to hope. This means that we believe in achieving our life goalsby our own strength to be able to achieve. Even if it sometimes takes a little longer. Our own needs are important and therefore may be calmly in the foreground.
  • Instead of thinking conditional to be liked ("Only if I work overtime will I be a good employee"), we should free ourselves from the conditions or recognition of others. Otherwise we will remain in an eternal popularity contest and mentally dependent on the favor of others.
  • Instead of allowing each of our accomplishments to be expressed in numbers measured we should focus on which of our strengths we can build on believe and of which we are proud and grateful.

Anyone who succeeds in this way in their life and work in a sense to find meaning, will no longer try to maintain an Expectations of others to correspond. Such people become pilots in their lives again and are no longer just passengers.

Our thinking changes our Awareness.

Thoughts that support us on the path – back to more life control – have the power to change our behavior from a passive to a active attitude to change. To win this one, we must be willing to change two crucial basic attitudes:

Being able to let go

Not only do we need to say goodbye to our beliefs. We also have to question our previous habits: Which rituals have helped us? Which ones have blocked us? What blocks us or holds us down, we have to let go of and become active in order to change something.

Forgiving yourself for mistakes

If we see the mistakes we make in the future as an opportunity to learn from them, we will soon no longer be afraid of doing something wrong. Moving on instead of giving up (prematurely) – that’s the goal. Having life control also means being eager to try new things and rediscovering for ourselves the curiosity that is in everyone.

You can implement these steps immediately

There cannot be a simple course of action to regain life control that works for everyone. The subject is too complex and individual for that. However, there are several steps that can help us gradually regain our control over our lives. The following list is therefore not a universal recipe, but rather meant to be like a buffet from which you can pick and choose what suits you best:

Formulate goals

The most important thing is to be aware of our goals: What do we want to achieve in life? It’s critical that we embrace them Goals as concretely as possible in front of your eyes. It is not enough to abstractly imagine that you want to get back more life control. It’s all about what situations we specifically put it on: What do we feel, think, sense in the process?

Write down thoughts

Daily writing down of our experiences and our thoughts helps us to develop our reflect. The thought and the said are fleeting. When we write, we inevitably have to think more intensely about our thoughts. If only to come up with meaningful formulations. The result is that we become more intensively involved with them. "He who writes, stays" – there is a lot of truth in this saying. For example, start writing a success diary.

Make a plan

If we want to regain life control, structure is essential: HOW and WHEN do we want WHAT implement and achieve? Go ahead and make a plan. A sense of control and a planned approach go hand in hand. Not least because in retrospect and with a view to your plan you can see exactly what you have already achieved – and what you may still be struggling with. But the best thing about it: It is YOUR plan. You already have full control over it!

Establish a morning and evening routine

Our lives are characterized by routines. Some find it dull, others find it reassuring. Either way, they’re a great way to take back control. This can be done with a morning routine as well as with an evening routine. Both add structure to the day, create order and clear the mind. Just like a plan (see the point before).

Realize dreams

It doesn’t even have to be the big dreams you strive for. Simply start to fulfill small wishes and, for example, finally go on a certain trip or take up an exciting hobby. What happens in the process: You create small feelings of success for yourself – ones that you have initiated yourself. This also gives you back life control (at least in these areas). You don’t even have to justify this. It is your right to indulge yourself.

Avoid negative people

So-called toxic people, who only see the negative in everything, are not good for us. For them, the problems and obstacles are always in the foreground. Opportunities fade them out. With such people by your side, you will not make progress, but rather fall back even further. There is only one advice for this: cultivate more distance to such people. As well as to those who just suck up your energy instead of supporting you.

Soak up daylight

It sounds so trivial, but it’s not: get exercise in the fresh air and daylight good mood. This Energy you should use for yourself. For example, go for a walk during your lunch break or go for a jog in the evening. Fitness effects aside: It clears the mind and gives our thoughts a new kick. Proven. Those who get into the habit of walking or biking as much of their daily commute as possible change their mood for the better. Promised!

As I said, you can implement all of the recommendations or just a few of the tips. The main thing is that you become active. To regaining control of life, it needs a first step. Then a second and so on. The size of the steps does not matter for the time being. You can do this!

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