Child does not want to go to kindergarten

Finn sticks to his father’s trouser leg before entering kindergarten. Some children feel the same way. They do not want to go to kindergarten.

The gate into the playground has been crossed, dad walks Finn over to Mrs. Weber and the other children. Finn starts crying, he doesn’t like kindergarten. Many children have such phases of dislike for kindergarten. Sometimes it is those children who were initially enthusiastic about going to kindergarten. But newcomers in particular have a hard time saying goodbye. Give your child time.

1. All parting is difficult

If your child starts crying when you are about to leave, this is a normal process during the first four weeks of settling in. For children who were cared for exclusively by their parents until the age of three, it can take some time before they want to stay in kindergarten alone. Children who have already attended a playgroup and know group life have an easier time here. Just like children who have already been cared for by a babysitter. They have experienced mom or dad coming back after they leave the facility in the morning.

2. Standing safely by the side

Children who are new to kindergarten often experience a feeling of insecurity. That’s because of the adjustment the offspring has to make: Even if you’ve picked out a great facility – your child is in a completely new environment, separated from parents and surrounded only by strangers. This creates an overload that can hardly be mastered without adequate parental involvement. So for the first time, it is recommended to stay on site and introduce your offspring to the new environment, as well as talk about the experience in the afternoon.

Settling in kindergarten

3. Shorten attendance times

Parents should shorten the time they spend together with their child in kindergarten bit by bit. Accompany it at the beginning to the daily morning circle, breakfast and so on. Then gradually fade into the background. When the day comes and you leave the kindergarten, however, you should always be available by phone.

4. Overcoming separation anxiety

The most common causes of kindergarten reluctance are separation anxiety, which can occur especially during the familiarization phase. Perhaps shorten the little one’s time at the facility a bit by dropping them off later and picking them up earlier. You can also incorporate little cheers into the day: the favorite stuffed animal can be waiting in the backpack, a little surprise can be hidden in the lunchbox, or a little heart can be painted on the arm ("Mom and Dad are thinking of you when you look at the little heart"). You also need to reflect if you yourself have problems with the kindergarten or with letting go. If necessary, detach yourself from it, your child feels it.

5. Being the first one there in the morning

If your child has difficulties integrating into the group, it can help to be there first thing in the morning. So all new arrivals join your child directly, who may have also taken the most coveted toy. Inviting some of the children with whom your little one would like to have contact to your home can also work wonders.

6. Identify reasons

If your child gets in a bad mood when it comes to kindergarten, go research the causes. You may be able to counteract problems in this way already. Ask your child directly, but not first thing in the morning or at noon, why he or she does not like to go to kindergarten. Take a quiet minute in the afternoon or evening and don’t press the child if he doesn’t want to or can’t answer. Perhaps you discover the cause also in the context of a puppet show on the subject of kindergarten. An important access is of course given through the educator. She can watch and support your child during the day and give you some tips to use at home.

Share your experiences and tips that have helped your child in the first weeks with other parents. Just leave a comment under this post.

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My daughter(3) is in this phase right now. Nothing helps. Neither quiet talk, nor lures with surprises. Every morning huge screaming, already half cramps in the kindergarten. But she also does not tell me why she does not want to go.have already tried everything and am desperate. &

Do you have a bad conscience towards your daughter?Often the biggest problem is "mother or father" … In the causes standshts also again well described …It is absolutely normal for a child to cry in the first few weeks….actually the child shows how close the bond is (see attachment theories).Just don’t feel guilty-most children feel this…and what do you do:You yell …so mother has bad conscience possibly…Child feels :mother reacts…I can say from my own practical experience: the children of mothers without a bad conscience were accustomed faster than those with a bad conscience…loving farewell and with a firm voice this and then GO!Not to stand around at the door…..that brings mostly nothing at all …only more unrest for all …And if Kita is too early – can also sometimes happen-but rather in the U3 area ..

Hello, our daughter does not want to go to the kindi since the birth of her brother and two weeks before!What should we do She cries and very much!Funny way she cries then only 10 min and then has fun but when she is home she does not want more and says that she will not go tomorrow!! What should we do it hurts when she cries like this

The little one simply knows that they are home anyway because of the afterthought. The problem here is certainly not the daycare itself, but rather: Why do I have to go there, although my little brother is allowed to stay with mom?. That is jealousy and that often comes through with older brothers and sisters if late again offspring is.

My son (2 years) has been settled for 3 weeks! 2 weeks I was with on site and in the group, already there he came running to me instead of playing with the others or to go alone to look. Since last week I bring him at 9.00 o’clock there and at 10 o’clock I go to get him again, even before we go to the car to make us on the way to the Kiga it starts with: no stay here (at home), in the Kiga then it goes on immediately after we have changed the shoes and taken off the jacket : Mama poor, Mama poor and crying ! Hardly on the arm of the educator he screams then really loose! I always say goodbye quickly and without letting myself notice anything (even if it is very difficult because he really cries heartbreakingly) and tell him: Mom will pick you up again in a minute! Have fun my darling! … After the hour I arrive at the kindergarten and always hope that it has become better BUT! >.< wrongly hoped … The educator then always means: He cries, stops very briefly for about 5 seconds and then starts again with Mama call to the door run and crying ! When I come to the door and he sees me he starts crying and clings to me tightly! … I know it is still early and some children need a long time but since he has Kiga acclimatization he does not even stay half an hour on the weekend with grandma and grandpa! … What can I do to make it easier for my child to let go??! The educator said he would simply be very attached to me and therefore has a hard time letting go … I am very grateful for any tips ..

My son Lukas (will be 4 in March) has been going to kindergarten since the beginning of September. Unfortunately we still have every morning in kindergarten the same theater because he does not want me to go again.From time to time he says at home that he doesn’t want to go there anymore and that he simply won’t go tomorrow.I am after almost 2 months with the nerves at the end, because I do not know if it is the right thing, what I do. At the beginning I understood it, was also the first week with him in kindergarten and have now also regulated so that he does not have to stay too long and is fetched earlier.The big problem is also, when he cries so much, he usually throws up and that is in kindergarten then really troublesome. I run then with him in the toilet and if it goes badly, I can change him then also still. Where I think slowly that is a little calculation that I am longer there.Does anyone have experience? Are there really children with whom it takes so long with the acclimatization?He then plays the whole morning without any problems, is never sad or cries because he wants to go home.Am really at the end with my nerves and strength after these almost 15 weeks. :o(Greetings Simone

Hello. I have the same problem with my son for 5 weeks now. May I ask how it is with you now??

My little one is 2.5 years and goes since the beginning of June 2014 for 5 hrs./day to the KiTa and it is every morning hell. He totally resists it. The first question when he wakes up in the morning is: do I have to go to daycare?. If I say yes, the screaming (he is really pissed off) goes on until I have delivered him to the daycare center. I always try to stay happy and confident but when I’m on the way to work I can’t stop the tears either. Arrived at the daycare center it takes lt. Educators no 2 minutes and he plays as if nothing had happened. When I ask him in the afternoon how it was today, he says that everything was good and is also happy. Need then at home just a little time out (lie down and look at book). When I ask him again at home what bzgl. The Kita (what a nice thing they did z.B.) he simply ignores my questions. I don’t know what to do…

So in the meantime he only cries when I bring him there , then it takes there approx. 5 minutes and he has calmed down .. However, he starts to whine there as soon as the group door opens and he thinks I would stand in the door … When I come to pick him up at noon he also starts to "whine" and to "cry" again (there are no tears) … What is the absolute cracker: he even sleeps in kindergarten& no one could believe that .. but lo and behold he does it …So as you can read the situation has improved significantly .. the whining he is doing is just trying to soften us up, the kindergarten teacher said that some cry and whine during the settling in and at the beginning and the others start in the middle of the kindergarten year … They also need to be calmer about it .. vlt. you can watch from the outside how your child is doing .. we have to pass a big window where we could watch him and I could see that he was playing .. This has made me immensely strong and from that day on it went uphill ..I know that it is very difficult because you get a guilty conscience as soon as you give him crying or whining to the educator BUT! you will notice that it gets better day by day and he gets used to the new "life" :)I send you a lot of strength for the further time and I know that soon you can also say .. my child goes to kindergarten and has fun& … trust me .. even if now it seems like it will never work out well ! .. Cheer up!

We have the same thing ..Also I went at the beginning "strong" from the Kiga, turned off the street and already ran the tears … My mother in law said to me then always: head up! Every child has to go through this, everyone has gone through this, it is something new for the child and he needs time!He has been going to the Kiga for a few months now and still cries/whines when I take him there, others do it at the beginning of the Kiga and others who have been there longer and have never done it do it in the middle of the Kiga.When I go to pick him up he also whines and when I ask him how it was : nice .. No sooner we are home .. he goes to his room and plays all by himself and doesn’t answer any of my questions about kindergarten ..I’ve read about it once that children come with it all alone and you should not force or push them … I know myself that it is very difficult and you want to know what his treasure has done all day BUT he needs his time, eventually he will come home and warscheinlich no longer stop talking about it& … I do it now so that I ask him only once in the Kiga when I’m dressing him what he did so (what he then also tells me in short sentences) and then no more … Sometimes on the car ride home he then comes with zb. Nikki broke the doll but that’s all… When they are older, this will certainly come all by itself .. here it is again the time we have to leave them ( even if it is hard& ) ..

Why do you have to leave your child crying?? Say goodbye quickly and then go ! I do not find normal. A mother wouldn’t do that either or would she? ? I find the principle of a child on bend and break to intigrieren not ok. And if you as a mother feel you have a guilty conscience, then maybe you should listen to it! Maybe both are not ready yet and need more time. Or it just does not fit with the educator or the group . I personally think it damages the relationship of trust if I leave my child crying (with strangers in the beginning) and act as if this is normal, of course the child will stop crying at some point – what else can he do??

Hello everyone I am at a loss and I am trying to get some advice this way. Namely…My daughter turned three last year in September. She was looking forward to kindergarten. First three days was great and I thought oh is this great.The fourth day she started to cry, and days later she did not want to separate from me at all.From kindergarten have called me and said that they do not manage to calm my child.Two weeks later the educator told me that it is too exhausting with her because she does not stop crying and I should try again in a few months. I thought maybe it is not bad try to register in other kindergarten.Now it is third week that she goes.First week we were two hours what ok..She was looking forward to next week.The second week was good and was you to 1 your.This week on monday my daughter started crying but she calmed down quickly and was ok.Yesterday the same.Today she did not want to go to kindergarten, I stayed twenty minutes in the group and then I had to leave.My daughter I left crying. My soul was hurting but I thought it would calm down again.At 1 o’clock where did I pick her up the educator told me she was hard to calm down and was exhausting for her.I do not know what to do. Constantly I ask myself how the some mother create it without problems that with kindergarten that it works out and with me runs already again wrongly.

What can I do my child does not want to go to daycare what can I do .

Hello I am an educator, I have since a week a child that has great difficulty. In the beginning his mom stayed with him, everything was fine. That child has laughed, played etc. Hardly was the mummy away it cried. Since Monday he stays alone with us for one hour. He cries bitterly, does not want to be calmed down, looks at the clock hand every few minutes. Mom told me today that he is very busy at home. He hardly sleeps, wets again and blames his mommy for not loving him. That hurts the mummy very much. The mother reported that the boy was the only child in the family and was therefore constantly in the adult. They were also in the playgroup, that was too loud for him. He likes to set his own rules, he does that with his mommy and he has tried it with us as well. He doesn’t want to sing or decide where I or my colleague sit down or we have to listen to him all the time. I let him decide certain things, e.g. what he wants to do, but the others are not possible. Outside the kiga or with his mom he is a bright child that can also be wild. He doesn’t let anyone touch him in the kindergarten, he says that he doesn’t want to have any friends, etc. what can I do? How can I support the child?

Hello My son 2 years is since mid-May in early group in kindergarten he cries every morning extremely clinging to me .relatives say I should take him out because he is still too small I am at my wits end and do not know what to do please help me. Greetings Christine

Hello I have the same problem my little one is three years old. Since the beginning of November he goes to the kiga! The first three days it went super now it has me a bronchitis ausgebruhter would have to be then abruptly again at home! Now he is looking forward to kindergarten in the morning, but as soon as he has to take off his slippers etc. he is already whining to mummy to go home or not to stay in kindergarten ! Starts crying and does not calm down either ! What can I do do you have tips ??

Hello, maybe there is someone here who can help me, maybe a professional who has had such cases and can speak from experience. I work in a day care center with children from 3-6 years old. In August I picked up a child who cries all day long. At the beginning of the settling-in phase, he always waited for his mother in the hallway, stood at the door and watched the children playing outside. After some time, he or she plucked up courage, came to the group and slowly approached the play material. It took almost nine weeks until the child had "arrived" in our opinion and also opened up a little to the children. We tried again and again to introduce the child to different play materials and to establish contact with the other children. Mainly, however, the child sat down only when his primary educator was present, otherwise he stood at the window sill and waited for his mother. After two weeks of vacation, the child came back to kindergarten and has been crying continuously since then. This is also a while ago.Everything we offer him he refuses and cries in Turkish for his mother. The acclimatization phase took place according to the Berlin acclimatization model. All attempts we have tried so far have failed and we no longer know how to proceed. Talks with the parents have already taken place and they don’t know what the problem could be.

Hello everyone, we also have a child in kindergarten that has a very hard time settling in. The time when the child and also the parents want to integrate the kindergarten into their everyday life is marked by many changes. This means for them that many new experiences have to be processed first. Children then react with stress and crying. In the kindergarten the children can be helped by showing them that crying is not bad and that the educator can endure it, so they keep the child with them, comfort them and start with games and interesting activities. The child learns more and more what it can do in kindergarten, and especially that it can do it alone, without mom / dad. Children who have a close relationship with their parents and are very difficult to separate need a lot of time and patient teachers. We in the kindergarten also alternate who takes care of the new child, so that the nerves are spared. So far it has worked out well in the long run and the new children have accepted all teachers as caregivers and can always be calmed down quickly. For the new child it is important to be pointed to games, group activities and rules, because at the beginning he may not be able to perceive so many impressions and feels overwhelmed. I also think it is important to let the child know that crying is ok, and that missing mommy/daddy is also ok; but then it is also clearly stated that he is now in kindergarten, where he is allowed to play, feel comfortable and where the teachers are there to help and watch over him – key words "clear communication", "transparency" and "participation" of the child.Maybe this will help some of you here in the forum. All the best to you!

Answer to Lisa: This sounds like a highly sensitive child. That he wants to determine where who sits etc. shows a strong will, but also fixed rituals to which these children hold very tightly. Dad is never allowed to sit on mom’s chair, grandma is not allowed to carry mom’s bag, etc.He also has very great separation anxiety and to integrate these people is particularly difficult, stimulus overload, many own thoughts, restlessness, ..

Good day …I have the same problem with my young children. But he is already 5 and has been in the large group for half a year . He is currently always very ambivalent, either he cries only (when it goes to daycare, extremely) or he is very quickly petulant or has a big mouth . I am also really tired at the moment, I work shifts . I don’t know what to do, except to talk and explain to him that mom and dad have to work. I hope it is only a phase.

Greetings moms and dads, for me (now 21) it was similar in the first year of kindergarten (I was 4). I cried my eyes out when mom left, because I was so scared without her. I continued to cry for half an eternity and only started to play at some point – only to cry again in between.The purest torture – for me, my parents and the kindergarten aunt.The next year I cried a little the first week, but then I enjoyed it and really liked going to kindergarten.A few years later with my brother was the same as with me at that time. He (was on 4) only cried and was terribly afraid without mommy.He was then allowed to stay at home. After half a year they tried again, our mom stayed with him in the kindergarten and after a few weeks he played independently with the others, without caring about mom – apparently. The next time I tried to leave him there alone he cried again. My mom has made it so that she said in the morning once, "Honey I have to go shopping. When the big hand of the clock is all the way up, I’ll be back." He was sad and a little bit cried, but not badly. Little by little, mom stayed away longer and longer, but my brother always knew exactly when mom was coming back – when the little hand was there and the big one was there.In the second year of kindergarten, he really looked forward to it every day, but also to coming home again.I think you should give the kids some time and be there at the beginning.And then again and again briefly away. But children then need a tangible clue for them when mom/dad will be back. A kindergarten child can’t do anything with "in half an hour", but with "when the big pointer is all the way up again" it can.If all this is of no use and the child still cries, I would consider leaving it at home for another year and instead invite the neighbor’s children more often or leave it with grandma and grandpa and let them take the children on a neighborhood or playground tour when both parents have to work (or go to a parent-child group if there are no children in the neighborhood) and the next year it will be ready and will really enjoy going to kindergarten. All the best and greetings Frieda

The articles have shown me that many parents have difficulty with screaming children during the adjustment period. But I have noticed that no educator has said to the parents that the child can only go to the nursery if he lets himself be comforted by the educators. It can not be!!As a great-grandma, I’m worried. How should parents behave?

Every day we have a discussion: "No, I don’t want to go to kindergarten". They’re stupid there and it’s too noisy for me and the day is too long". I understand everything, but I can not change that. It’s a big group, he has trouble playing with the kids, it’s a long day". That’s why I bring it later in the morning. But he still whines. I’ll be so happy when the little one finally goes to 1. grade. When children get to the second grade and are somehow more mature in the head… and then the stupid kindergarten days are over for good.

Good evening. My daughter goes to the 4.9 to kindergarten everything went great only my mistake was that she was distracted and I was always gone. And today she noticed it and got into it and had an affective spasm. In case anyone doesn’t know this is when children are too defiant, scared, angry or frightened and get too excited, they hold their breath and pass out& and now I have a stomach ache that it will happen again tomorrow morning. Go all the time this situation in the head through.

Hello everyone, my son is 4 1/2 years old and has often said he does not want to go to daycare. But I always manage to get him to go to daycare after all. Maybe not so much like it but it stays there u. rarely cries really hard. Especially when he had to stay at home for a few days because of illness and then he is brought back to the nursery, he whines that he does not want to go to the nursery. I do it like this: – oh, here at home it is totally boring. Your friends are all at daycare. They are waiting for you. – Dad/mom has to do a lot of things that you don’t enjoy. Go rather play in the garden, tinkering etc. with L. and J. (his best friends i.d. Kita)- Come on, we’ll go there now and then see if you don’t want to stay there, hmm? -> when we are there zus. walk with him through the kindergarten, greet everyone and then ask: go to the window and still wave to me. -> that helps my son totally well. – If he still clings, one of the kindergarten teachers comes and distracts him and says: look there is your friend J. or L., they are already waiting for you; or ‘hey N., do you want to draw a picture o.a.- if it still does not work, then I usually say: I’ll be back very soon and get you. Go wave at the window. And then I go! Point. Then he must cry. But that passes ( with him ) so far always quickly. When I then come back to pick him up, then he is of course delighted effusively. And then he has for this remaining day my full attention! But then he thinks of something and plays for himself again, because he knows that I always pick him up and am always with him when he needs me. I tell him that too. – Or I ask why he does not want to go. Whether he has quarrels with his friends or what he does not like or whether he has hurt himself recently or or or. I.d. Kita arrived I hake then with the educators after because evtl. quarrels or I go to. with my son i.d. Kita to the child. Child, usually his best friend and ask what was going on last and nudge both of them to get along again -> and then everything is fine again… and the two of them are already dashing around the corner and I can leave reassured. So: I/we always think of something how to change the not wanting into wanting or not wanting but ok, daddy come and get me soon. Ok. With us it works like this. I hope that one or the other may work better now. But of course now child is different, has more fears of any kind. Sometimes a child has to cry. It must learn to make also times what alone that mummy or daddy are not always there. That is important for the development. Something like an affective spasm is of course violent. Here it would be important to talk with the child about his fears, as far as that goes. Respond to the child and learn to say goodbye as a regular rite. Always say clearly to the child that you are leaving now, say goodbye with a hug, kiss, wave at the window o.a. So do not distract but make the parting clear. It may take some time to get it right, but at some point saying goodbye is i.d.Kita has become a normal process. Because if it is distracted and suddenly mom / dad is no longer there, only strangers, then this promotes too great fears of abandonment. Imagine you are out with your own mother/father and suddenly someone completely different is standing next to you and mother/father are gone without saying anything. What happens first? (even if one is already older and independent) Well, one is probably confused at first ‘What is this now??’ Where has he / she gone now without saying anything? Evtl. Panic, OH God, He / She just leaves me alone with them here. I can’t stand the people here at all, she / he knows that, right?? … So: my tip is to always try to put yourself in the child’s place. But the teachers know that too. With our Ki.The teachers explained everything to me in the kindergarten. And I also read a lot and thought back to my own childhood. In short, with us it works so far. Greetings to all and good luck.

Hello!My son (2 years, 4 months) should be from the 4.9. to the day care center, thanks to a cold this had now been postponed for two weeks..On the first day of familiarization we were there for 1 hour, and he did not leave my side. On 2. Day sent me one of the two educators already at the door back home (was a bit shocked). An hour later I should get him – where he received me in tears (according to educator but all good :-/ ). One day last week I was allowed to stay there completely (2 hours), because one educator had the day off and the other was more or less alone with 10 children. My son was again almost only with me, if at all he occupied himself once for 5 minutes, after that he came up to me again half crying, took my hand and said "Mommy home, please" ..That went the whole 2 hours..He also made neither games or anything else with, ate and drank nothing.. There I worry as a parent already..According to kindergarten teachers, he can be quickly calmed down and then plays and when I’m there and he eig. knows that mom is nearby and could "let go", he still wants to go home and this normal?Today we had his cuddly toy, the moo with. When we were still in the car, he said to me that the moo wants to go home, she is afraid. Was then a 3/4 hour with there, he has played ect, when I said goodbye and said I’ll be right back, everything was uninteresting and he cried bitterly. An hour later I picked him up again, he stood rather apathetic next to the other children. According to educator but again everything ok.. But it tears my heart to see him crying so bitterly and to know that he doesn’t want to go to the daycare center..

My little one is 2.5j. In the beginning we couldn’t get her away from the kindergarten because she cried when we picked her up!and no month later the complete opposite.. I do not understand it ..nothing helps.. on the way away a little bit of grumbling but there you can still distract them well as soon as we enter the kindergarten it starts… some days she does not even calm down! Until I pick them up again like today they have since in the morning at half 9 to 12 through cried and grunted from time to time you can ablenkn them and then is angebl. Again over according to aunt… I am at the end with my Latin .. nothing helps am bachbluten stumbled upon as a spray supposedly that should help. .. but I am not so sure … hope it gets better soon

How would it be then simply again more to trust his feeling and on what one sees and hears – instead of on the "educators" with those yes always everything is in order!The little ones cry with fear for their mothers. This is not normal.not in the "acclimatization phase" and not otherwise. These are real needs of children, which should be heard and acted upon!Listen to your feeling and do not let the talk of the kindergarten teachers unsettle you. They say that all so!that this have easier.because they don’t want the parents to stay in the kindergarten until the little ones are really accustomed and the parents can leave without tears and screaming.I think that would be possible, if the child is ready (that can be with three, four, five or six years, or possibly not at all) and you are not sent away immediately on the second day, or after a week …or a month!But the kindergarten doesn’t want to and can’t do that….there every child should work, that they have no big effort with it…Therefore the parents the lie fairy tale of ‘crying is normal’ and ‘after 5minutes he/she has stopped crying and played nicely.’ told.Oh yes?Unfortunately we do not know if this was the case……this is all to calm the conscience of the parents, who rightly have a bad conscience – they are acting against their feelings and especially against the feelings of their child!Whereby the child shows the feelings very clearly!! Parents realize this, go away with tears in their eyes, let themselves be unsettled by such ‘competent’ educator statements.Listen to your child and your feeling. You can destroy so much of the bond between you and your child…Kindergarten is not a duty. It should be fun at best.Take care of your child, if it is possible! Or think about how you could make it possible (grandma, grandpa, maybe a nanny, personally limit the expenses and still stay at home) this short time goes by so quickly and is so beautiful and important!Work you can then evtl still long enough (or a self-employment from home may be in question?)You love your child…for the educators it is only one of many, that is only their profession….I wish all mothers and children confidence and self-confidence in themselves and their abilities and the strength to do the right thing despite all the other opinions and to experience happy and carefree days with their child!Have the courage to speak out and go against the flow if you feel it is the right thing to do.

Dear people! Perhaps you should ask yourself at what age children are ready to break away from the close ties of mother and father. That is namely with many children only with 4 years. If you don’t have to, you can give the time to the children

Hello! My child, three and a half, has been going to daycare for two and a half hours a day for over a year now. Since he is rather shy and reserved, the acclimation dragged on a bit. But after that he liked to go to his group. At the beginning of the year he got a sibling, which did not make it more difficult for him to go to kindergarten. On the contrary, he proudly shows his sister and was happy when she came to pick him up again. In September this year the group was torn apart and some, including my son went to the next higher group. Of course, the educators also changed. (2 per group) Since then he clings again, tells me every early that he does not want to go to the Kita and is afraid of the children. Whereby I do not really believe that, because when he talks in the afternoon, he has always played with his friends he has there. But what I also notice in the mornings is that when he sees one of the teachers in his group, he goes into reverse, stands behind me, clings to my leg, repeats that he doesn’t want to go and starts crying. I do not know quite what I should think of it. Since I heard other things (Kitazeit my nephew 12 years) I am somewhat ambivalent. If it is about playing or something in the nursery was what he liked, then he tells it with pleasure. Otherwise he always blocks when you ask him about the time in the kindergarten or he doesn’t react at all. In the last vacation season, both teachers of his group were on vacation for two days and the boss herself took over. The two days there was neither crying nor clinging. He went to his group without complaining. The third day, however, the door opened, his educator was back, he immediately looked at me, immediately took a deep breath, took a step back, stood behind me and held my leg. With me people actually already all alarm bells, because something had to have been yes times. However, I don’t know how to proceed further, since talks with the kindergarten management probably don’t help, my sister-in-law has already gone through everything. In the end it was interpreted that her son is spiritually behind and causes his own problems. According to pediatricians and psychologists, however, this is not true in any case.

Hello,I am totally desperate…my son (1Y.) does not want to go to daycare . He screams / bucks almost constantly and that after 3 months! Settling in. I am a single parent with 2 children and need full salary. Even TZ me 30h means for us 600€ less, which is not possible with a rent of over 1000€. Because I own property in another region, which is just so cost-covering, I also have no housing allowance. A move vegunstigt the rent in Berlin – Pankow also not significant, apart from the moving costs and additional stress. I would not like to leave here also for the time being, since my oldest child is in the gymnasialen decision year…What can I do then?

Hello dear ones. I have the same problem with my son, who is 2 years and 10 months old, as other mothers. He has been going to kindergarten since August. What went very well at the beginning (2 weeks). I have again and again this fight with him at all to wake him up to dress and everything else that does not go without that he does not scream or cry. It is already so bad that the little one has really changed since he goes to kindergarten.. He hardly eats he hardly drinks he is only crying he gets sick very often he is totally limp.I just don’t know anymore if someone can help me or give me some advice. First of all, I don’t know if it’s the right thing to do, I’ve been on vacation for 3 weeks and I’ve talked to the teachers about freeing him from kindergarten.. was also ok but now he doesn’t want to go anymore, he skins around when he hears "Kindergarten.. I look forward to tips from you..

Hello my son has been in daycare for over a month was three weeks with was all ok and now when I leave it breaks my heart because he cries so hard what can I do

Hello my son Ben yes now with 5 years still the same problem. In the morning he cries a lot and doesn’t want to go to daycare and in the afternoon when he is picked up and we ask him how it was at daycare . Then it was beautiful . We also do not know what to do . Sometimes he says in the morning that he is afraid that mommy will not pick him up . Sometimes he does not want to take a nap in the nursery . We talk to him about his problems, but nothing changes .

Dear parents, as I have noticed from the comments, this topic causes a lot of uncertainty. Now I would like to support you. Let’s take a different approach. Let’s go back in time. They were pregnant/their partner expected a child that was nevertheless, nevertheless, that was a wonderful feeling they were glad about their offspring and hardly he was there they have sworn to be always there for this small being. Only the pregnancy is the most intensive time with your child 24 hours. 9 months always together. After birth, the process of cutting the cord begins a little more each day. But children need to be accompanied and supported in this process . Listen to your gut feeling.b. what happens when a child climbs the stairs , if you can do this together with him even if it is in quadrupedal step forward, show him your joy when it was done, motivate your child. Children should grow up with other children that means playgrounds, visit after children, invite friends of their child to play with them. Possibilities where children come into contact with each other not where they are commercially only sprinkled. They would like to trust their child and the child them, that does not go from today to tomorrow in the kindergarten that must begin already much earlier . One more word to the staff . The staff really always goes out of their way to acclimate children . But if they do not have a good feeling, or nothing changes there are several possibilities.First talk to the staff, the management, talk about everything that is bothering them. Then they can change the group or kindergarten, or just let time pass their child is not yet ready for an institution 3- 8 months are sometimes worth gold here . Even if they have to tighten the financial belt.You have a happy child who trusts you and most importantly you stand by your decisions.You are the parents of this child for a lifetime and this is a relationship that needs a good basis. I wish you all the best and much success in supporting our little future. Julia , educator from the heart

Hello dear ones out there, I am already so desperate that I am really looking for help and hope so much that someone can help me here! My son 2 years 4 months has been going to Kiga for about 7 weeks now! The first 4 weeks I was always there for 2 hours and since 3 weeks with a week break because of a cold I should say goodbye to him as soon as possible and go out for about 20 minutes when he would have calmed down! He calms down but zero comma zero he cries so bitterly and today he spit up because he got so into crying! He is acclimated according to the Berlin model it does not work out front and back my parental leave ends in November and I have to go back to work hours wise! I am so desperate and do not know what to do it breaks my heart but I know that it would do him good to go to the kiga! He does not speak Late talker yet and that would be so nice if it works out! Any tips for me Glg

What is not considered here: That a small child (under 3 years) in individual cases simply should not go to kindergarten, because it does not do him good. It must not be what should not be. The nursery staff will always say, it will work out, and society says, job and child must (!) be compatible. But they are not in all situations.

Hello together so our son just 3 years is since Monday in the kindi Monday and Tuesday everything was great since Wednesday only a crying in the habituation phase. Unfortunately, the educator and I as a mother are at a loss as to what to offer him. We are already in the thought so far that we take the little man out again if the situation does not change until next week. How can we make Milan the kindi palatable that it goes without tears of statten and he also remains alone without me.

Hello together our son will be 3 years in 3 months may since this week in kindi, but since Wednesday is only a crying despite well zureden. What can we do to make him the kindi palatable would be grateful for any tip.

Hi.. A son, 3 5 years, goes since 7.1.20 to the day care center. First he lies to me ONE YEAR (!) in the ears that he wants to indie Kita. Now he goes and since the first week there are problems. He says he doesn’t want to go because he cries. He is at home listless, annoying, insulted, etc. He cries when he is delivered. Heichihn from daycare, he does not want to go … I have done 3.5 years of relationship work. I have built up his basic trust and he is securely bonded!I’m afraid of breaking 3.5 years and traumatizing my child. With me, the job center is behind it and wants him to come as soon as possible in the Kita. Have on 6.2. An appointment for a psychological evaluation at the JC…I think that’s what really screws it up: The pressure from the outside!I want him to go the Kita, but this persecution care of the JC (since 1 year every month there an appointment where I have to take him, otherwise he would be simply alone at home), makes 3s really NOT better. Honestly? I SO do not want this. Can they not at least for the moment still hold back his one has the acclimatization through. Children feel that. They feel whether you like it or not. I am going to pick up a child early from daycare now. Simply because I can do it and have fun with it!Then we get an ice cream from the ice cream parlor and spend the rest of the day outside!A child belongs to the mother… I am not able to work at all, but I should force my child into a daycare center within a fixed time frame, just so that I have something to do with it? Again can be put into a senseless measure?Seriously. THIS is the reason why I should traumatize my child and kick almost 4 years of education and care into the garbage can?

Here the child is again clearly seen as a low thing and the needs are put to the back of the line. Just take a look at your own nose, how you would feel yourself in the situation! How you would feel if you were dumped like this. Always wonder who writes such articles!?

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