Am ex back together love another man

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A complex issue for parents.

It’s not so difficult to break up with an ex-partner when there are no children. You (simply) get out of the way and distract yourself . There are many rituals that support a detachment from the partnership. However, when a separation from the couple level to the parent level is necessary, many are at a loss and the rituals from before do not translate 1:1.

Even now, rituals are a great help. Because only when the emotional injuries have been sufficiently appreciated by the woman and the man, a meeting on a parental level is possible.

Case study from my counseling

Recently Luisa was in my counseling. She is a single parent and was permanently very exhausted. In our first conversation, we identified stress with the ex as an emotional burden, as a crucial factor.

We agreed to write down the feelings and reflect on them. As an aid we use a general questionnaire that is used in many counseling centers and therapies.

Luisa agrees to show you her answers publicly and to draw a conclusion at the end of the article.

Of course I would also like to motivate you to answer these questions in writing. Just download these 26 questions as a PDF for free and get better closure with your ex-partner at your pace.

Download 26 questions

Luisa’s answers

1. What strengths did I bring into our relationship?

I appear self-confident to the outside world. I always did my thing and that was what was also certainly attractive. You liked being cooked by me. I also enjoyed cooking for you. At the same time I wanted to show you that I am the one. The right one to start a family.

2. Which weaknesses did I bring into our relationship??

My weakness was to be unsorted in some areas of life. Despite my strength on the outside, I have given away more and more responsibility. I wanted to be cared for and sometimes I was jealous too. From this you could see my own insecurity .

3. What strengths and weaknesses did you bring into our relationship??

I admired your calmness and structure in everyday life. The complete opposite. You were often so reasonable and damn right too. Today I think so many times: He was right. Crap! Often, like a little defiant child, I had the urge to do the opposite. Your weakness is also your strength. You’re too rational and structured.

4. What I could give you was.

my liveliness, creativity, openness and stormy love.

5. What I could not give you.

Calmness, structure, taking responsibility and security.

6. What side of me did our being together allow me to experience for the first time??

You showed me what it means to have real friends. This also made me more courageous and able to approach people.

7. What I got from you.

Well, we had a child. It was a wish child.

8. What I didn’t get from you but wished I had.

To be a family with you. I would have liked you not to withdraw and do your thing more and more. We were also still there. And then suddenly the other woman was there. I would have liked you to give me a gentle and kind "end" desired. Just pack up and move out. It was a big shock for me.

9. What have we helped each other with?

That sounds cynical now. But we catapulted each other into a big crisis. I could have done without that very well.

10. What did I neglect most in my relationship with you?? Which side in me withered?

I didn’t stand up for myself anymore. I wanted to keep the three of us alive and tolerated it when you came home late again. Little by little I became a small, conformist mouse. But that’s not me at all.

11. What did you do to hurt me the most?

Your withdrawal, the abandonment of our family and your egoism. Suddenly our child no longer had a father. Now and then you were there for an hour. But I was sent pictures by our friends. You on the golf course. You at a party. You with that woman. Then when I heard from you that you had "3".. When you wanted to go on vacation to France, I blew a fuse. That was the low point.

12. With what did I hurt you the most.

Oh, I was terrible. Hate is not an expression at all. I bombarded you with the worst text messages, went to the lawyer in the hope of preventing this vacation, put down this woman in front of our child. :(

I yelled at you, pulled your arm, shook you. hoping to wake up again. And in between our child. I am so ashamed and wish I could turn back the clock. I was only the fury for you and only encouraged you by my behavior to flee even more. Suddenly really being a single parent. Do you know how hard everyday life is?? Surely not, because you have enough time to recover.

13. What have we missed in our relationship?

Maybe you still remember. I was eight months pregnant. I wrote you a letter once before. In it I wished that we could have time for two now and then, despite the child. You waved it off and said our time would come again in a few years. Oh man. We should have talked more.

14. What was my biggest mistake in our relationship?

To give up responsibility and wait for you and your decisions. Besides, I’ve always had a problem with trusting you and also trusting me.

15. What was your biggest mistake in our relationship?

To accept the role of father. You love N. About everything. I know that somehow. But you couldn’t really show it then. Often I felt you could only love a few facets of me. You stopped looking at me and talking to me. Unfortunately.

16. Which behavior do I always resent?

Your initial unreliability towards our child. We wait and who doesn’t come because something else was more important?

You have no idea how many tears I comforted. It’s not our child’s fault and you’re hiding out. At some point I got so fed up that I asked fewer and fewer questions. What a shitty cycle. And then, according to the guidebook, you should still read well about the other parent. The other day I heard that you should keep the child until 8 years old. I know that she deliberately lied to me about her age in order not to upset her. The truth of what mom or dad is really like, they would find out later either way. Fortunately it got much better with time.

17. What have I reconciled with?

I no longer blame you exclusively for the failure of our family. Looking back, I also recognize many mistakes in myself. I no longer ask myself the question of guilt. It prevents me from going on living and does no good except for a guilty conscience. This will not make us better parents. But we can do better now!

18. What I loved you most for?

Your open-mindedness, your clarity, the smile in your eyes, your intelligence, your broad shoulders when you were fooling around with our child.

19. I have felt most loved by you when.

I have danced.

20. What I want to thank you for.

For our child. For our love that was once there and had its justification. For your clarity. Even if we never talk about it, you still indirectly influence my decisions now and then. Z.B. To buy or not to buy.

21. What I’m saying goodbye to now that our relationship has come to an end.

I know now that it is not the end of my life. I know that family can be very diverse and doesn’t just mean mother-father-child under one roof. The media often portray breakups as a horror. It doesn’t always have to be like this. We are doing quite well as parents by now. I am proud of that too!

22. What I like to say goodbye to and leave behind?

Our quarrel, the silence, the ignoring, our lawyers who thought they knew us better.

23. What I do not say goodbye to so easily?

The three of us backpacking through South Africa together. When our child was born, you said: "Later we’ll go off together with our child."Yes, we are already celebrating our birthday together again. but I can’t go to Africa anymore.

24. The good in our time as a couple. What do I keep from it?

The openness to the world and the courage to let people into my life.

25. What lives on in our child?

Our love. There is no more evidence.

26. What would I like to give you as a souvenir for goodbye?

I only wish to say goodbye to our couple relationship. Phew. I’m really writing this? Yes, but that’s how it is. As a mother and father, I would like to toast with you in a few years at our child’s graduation party. If our child really comes up with the idea to get married, I wish to dance a round with you. Now I have tears in my eyes. The souvenir is all the TV seasons of "Lost". ;)

Luisa

Luisa was unsure for a long time whether or not to send this letter to her ex-partner. In our last conversation she finally reported to me that she had copied the letter. I tore the original into many small pieces and threw it into the river on a bridge.

"It wasn’t just notes floating in the river of it. In the end I also used up a pack of tissues. I feel much better. For a long time I have been avoiding this step. But now I can breathe easier. Thank you!"

Thank you very much! You have read up to here. Not many people do that and it shows that it is an important issue. Answer the 26 questions and let me know how you got on with it.

67 comments

Sarah

30. July 2020 at 21:39

Good evening together,

I was also totally touched by the 26 questions and I will answer the questions again just for myself. I am currently in a separation phase again, coming out of a 3 year on/off relationship with a narcissist. At the moment I feel totally exhausted, my battery is empty and I don’t know where to put my anger and sadness. Our son is 10 months old, we still live together, but I would like to be away with him as soon as possible. My heart is broken, I can’t even begin to reflect what I have been going through the last 2 years&

I wish you all the love from my heart! You are very strong moms and dads and I have read all the comments carefully.

Feel tightly pressed!

Jerome

15. February 2020 at 10:52

Hello dear people,

My girlfriend broke up with me after 4 years of relationship felt abruptly. The reason was that she doesn’t love me anymore and she stayed with me for the last 6 months only because of no backup plan. In advance I must say that I have already noticed that something is not right. But I thought it was because of the birth of our daughter that she is still so emotionally through the wind. She broke up on the exact day of our daughter’s birthday. It hit me like a blow. At the beginning I thought it would work out. Since we have been arguing more often lately mostly about trivial things sometimes about finances or personal things. She asked me to leave our shared apartment. I followed that with the hope that maybe it will still be something. Alone already for our 1 year old daughter. After 2 weeks I found out that she got a guy purely for pleasure. And was out for some kind of friendship +. My fuses are completely blown in this moment. Whereupon I insulted them in the worst way and threatened them. After a lot of back and forth we were able to talk it out anyway. What made me so upset was the fact that her first thought was that I had ruined her fun. Currently you have to say that she is in a phase where she is only looking for fun. Although there were other issues to deal with such as.b the financial situation of the apartment and her personal situation. Since she is only starting to work again after parental leave. I jumped over my shadow in this case and offered her my help in any way I could. What also led to a discussion that felt relatively also for me. Unfortunately, due to our beautiful daughter, a complete contact ban is not possible. And it burns so much in me sadness, hate and self-pity. Everything was taken away from me from one day to the next. Because of good friends I was able to buy an apartment and until the furniture also accommodate with them. When I read these questions, I discovered so many parallels to us. And that made me even more broken inside. How a person after so many times so many coping with problem can betray someone so still. From my point of view it is a way of respect not to get the next guy after 2 weeks just because of needs. I had also hit her mentally with the words so hard that she felt uncomfortable. Where I think it was more because I have scared the guy away what she said to me several times. I have the feeling or the certainty that she often sends our daughter off to the Gross parents to get her money’s worth. This thought alone hits me as emotinal as a person can be like this. In addition, I am now and then in the old apartment and play babysitter so that she also comes out sometimes. Whether it is with friends or otherwise. This makes me so broken that I drive after she comes late at night still home. I do all this just to see my daughter and not lose the bond with her. I just don’t know currently how to deal with this whole situation since I definitely still support her financially. Because I have angsg she would come on stupid thoughts to master the financial situation (escort service). I limit everything to the most necessary but letting go is too hard. Clamp I do not want but the disappointment is just too big. And this all happened in the last 3 weeks now we are celebrating Sunday together our daughter’s birthday with family and friends and this is the hardest for me.

Katarina

19. October 2019 at 04:56

Oh, unfortunately the other half was not taken at all.

I’ll make it short: I can’t forgive him, the wounds are too deep. It hurts too much when I see him.

For our son I sometimes jump over my shadow, but on a parental level I go as much as necessary and as little as possible. We can’t make any major arrangements without a parenting support center.

I got the sole right of residence also in the second instance, because he went to the higher regional court. Too much has happened. I must first recover, find distance also spatially, in order to be able to heal. It is also poison for our child here in the long run.

A chance to be able to act on the parental level to some extent is that first of all grass must grow over it for a long time. I will not be able to forgive him, that is the current state of affairs.

Katarina

19. October 2019 at 04:46

I think the idea with the 26 questions is not bad, because one reflects both sides, also sensitizes for the other one.

Unfortunately, I am still far from it, the hurts are too deep! I can not forgive him, I am very, very angry with him.

We were together for almost 29 years and married for almost 24 years, although we have been separated for more than 3 years and divorced for only 3 months. We got together when we were 14 and 15. We now have a 10 year old son.

We went to court for the right of residence, including family psychology report. This procedure alone took more than a year and cost so much energy. We have had a real war of the roses.

The parental level is also shattered, because there is no trust anymore. I also see my parts in the failure of the relationship. She was too symbiotic and probably that’s why she had this horrible end.

I want to move 360 km away, to relatives who want to support me. I would like a new beginning and after the bitter fight I got the sole right of residence, although he had a home game, because he was once the head of the youth welfare service in our town, knew his way around very well and did not take good care of the children. Nevertheless, his contradictions were recognized and it was also determined in the psychological personality test that he presents a false image of himself in order to comply with social desirability. He has a very above-average value. I, on the other hand, have an extremely above-average value in that I deal openly with norm violations and present a very authentic image of myself! Exactly the opposite! He is very subtle and I just very open and honest.

I know that I also made mistakes, also in relation to our child, because I could not hide from him my emotional state and thinking towards the father. I told him the naked truth from my point of view, but also the positive ones. In short, he would be too involved. But he was also not without, just subtle, but he often seemed more reasonable. But in the proceedings he brought out all the legal guns, so to speak, and at the same time did not keep the child’s welfare in mind, which he had accused me of doing. There also recognized a big contradiction.

So much has happened, lies, exercise of power on his part. I think he has wronged me and the family too much and of course I am also very sad to have been abandoned, not to have been valued and loved. Because after the separation, as a so-called man of honor, he chose as a partner his ex-classmates, whom I still knew from school days! He has had something with his work colleague, where he did not let me be part of it. I can’t prove him wrong, I didn’t have a candle with me, but the circumstantial evidence spoke for itself. He stood by her more than he stood by me! I was expecting him to show her who his wife is. He always found excuses and said I was exaggerating, that he was totally embarrassed. I wanted him to introduce me to her. Also the bad thing about this is that she used to go to high school with me, I used to be friends with her when I was young. She slipped later on and is not a child of sadness. However, she has worked her way up to the top of the city and is now the assistant to the head of culture and vice. B

Franziska Geissler

08. October 2019 at 16:57

Lilli_ma

30. June 2020 at 06:50

Free23

03. December 2020 at 19:53

Anynom

12. August 2019 at 20:55

Broke up because of love

26. July 2019 at 09:08

Martin

07. June 2019 at 09:40

Sweta

31. May 2019 at 01:07

5 months ago my husband left me after 9 years of marriage. He does not love me and I am at the sign. I was too cool with him.
Today he wrote that he has a wife. He introduced our daughter to her.

It has hit me very hard. I can not handle what I feel.

Franziska Geissler

07. October 2019 at 21:49

Suri

20. April 2019 at 11:28

Anna

31. July 2019 at 12:08 pm

Love Suri,
I recognize myself 100% in your words. Also I am sure like you, my husband rather silent. Again and again it boils up in him and he accuses me that he could never decide freely.
He wanted to find himself a week ago now. However, I have a great fear of loss and also I do not want to be in a state of limbo and with the future so uncertain.
We were now 11 years a couple. We have two very wonderful children and just bought a house. Fulfilling our dream, which was now apparently mine alone. I feel infinitely hurt and do not see myself in any way as he describes me. I feel that all this anger that he has built up in himself hurts me so much that I have no hope that it will be okay again.

However, I am also insanely scared that he will also end the relationship on his own in the coming days. I hope and pray every day that everything is undone. I am so infinitely sad. I miss him insanely and just want to fall into his arms.

Sandra

26. March 2019 at 23:50

I happened to come across this article and read through all the comments also on the face of other responses and I also have tears running down my face.
My separation from my still husband was about a year ago.
We have a five year old daughter that also a wish plate.
Our relationship was like a dream for 5 years as if nothing but absolutely nothing can destroy us and then suddenly I found out that he has another one besides me because he wanted to break up with me but he didn’t have the courage to tell me I discovered it by accident.
It was like a slap in the face a whole world collapsed for me and the worst thing is actually that after I threw him out and he moved out I fought for a year to keep the family despite everything and remember I said I can’t I’m sorry I can’t go back I can’t forgive myself for what I did to you.
A week after we tried to maybe still find a way it got a new girlfriend.
The very worst is that he can’t handle the situation at all and is jealous became aggressive and has also hurt me several times and even in front of our child.
It would be too much to write now but it is really a psycho terror and meanwhile already so far that I don’t know if this is all just a game of him because he wants to destroy me or if he is really emotionally as confused as I am and is hurt and disappointed that he therefore behaves like this.
I can not forgive him that he has simply abandoned the family that he has not fought not one minute but claims that he has not loved more than anything else in the world somehow this is a contradiction in terms.
Our little daughter is now literally torn back and forth that is 3 days a week she is with him always alternating and the rest of the time with me so we have constant contact what actually does not work at all.
It really is the hardest thing in life to have been so blindsided and lost your footing without warning and then still be able to have a normal parenting relationship with this emotional chaos and aggression from your ex partner and mind games.
It is damn hard to just have to function and to have to turn off feelings that is almost impossible!
I have to put on a mask for my daughter every day and pretend to get along with her dad, furthermore we both work for the same company and his new girlfriend also works there and I have to see her every day it almost kills me and I have no idea how to deal with it? How should one be able to close in such a situation? As mentioned in the report, I have also written several SMS and WhatsApp messages him downright bombarded him with insults I with insults and so on so really a real war of the roses we were already at the Youth Welfare Office police was already there it is really the horror.
And we never had a clarifying conversation because he just doesn’t have the courage to talk to me about it properly it’s more in the argument where then every now and then a few things slip out.
It’s scary to see how many people are going through what I’m going through and how many children are suffering simply because you don’t have the courage to talk about it.

Jessi

19. October 2019 at 07:59

Jacqueline

24. March 2019 at 19:43

Jessi

24. March 2019 at 14:31

ELLI-80

09. January 2019 at 7:26 pm

Margit elli Schneider

07. January 2019 at 01:00

Dear Mrs. Dr. Widmer,
I find the 26 questions as well as the responses to them, the honesty and confidence of all these people to tell their stories, insanely impressive.
I myself have been living with the father of my child for almost 10 years now. What connected us in the beginning was perfect. Honesty was the most important thing for me or for us in a relationship. I am a person with a lot of feeling and a big heart, even for people who are not perfect and have one or two faults. Every person with love in their heart deserves a good life. My boyfriend had problems from the beginning in dealing with money as well as his self-confidence. Despite his problems he managed to get me out of a deep black emotional hole at the beginning of our relationship and rebuild my then broken self confidence with a lot of love and understanding. I was working under a narcissistic and choleric boss at the time who had managed to destroy my confidence, strength and courage so that I almost self-destructed trapped in a hamster wheel. For this I was and am very very grateful to the father of my child. until today.
Further, he gave me what my gynecologist did not think possible – our common son, for whom I had to wait over 8 years. So I got at 32 years the much longed for child after a horror pregnancy caused by the boss with threats to me, to the gynecologist, to the maternity protection agency, open salary payments, etc. So I sat more with lawyers, doctors, counseling centers to end up in the hospital with preterm labor afterwards. Since the birth was very quick and I was hardly allowed to experience the pregnancy due to the stress, the child was like a stranger to me. My boyfriend went through all this with me and then had to struggle on with a writing baby for almost 2 years. The time was hard and gave our relationship a crack by constant mutual reproaches, persistent fatigue etc. After we were informed that our child is highly sensitive (this topic is divided opinion whether there is really that) we learned to deal with it through psychological help. The relationship stabilized through this and through my new job.
The problems of my friend at that time came to the fore again. Money worries were the order of the day. Blue-eyedness made the whole thing even worse. In addition, there was the dishonesty, that do not talk about the problems – he was, after all, the man of the house and must feed the family. Counseling centers, conversations and letters from me gave only temporary improvement. In addition there was the alcohol. Associated with this minor crimes (not violence or anything like that – never that) as well as drinking and driving, driving without a license, etc. I have tried to work with him to seek help for his son, because he loves him more than anything. He is, apart from his faults, the most loving dad I could imagine for our son.
But the lies, empty promises and constant destruction of trust between him and me have broken our relationship. He has brought us to the brink of despair with his debts. At the end he has even secretly tampered with my account and cleared up to the dispo. But I still say to this day he is not a bad person – just a person who can’t manage to get out of the vortex of debt due to false pride, lack of self esteem as well as realism. I have fought with him for almost 10 years now and now have to admit defeat. The trust to the one beloved partner is completely destroyed. Despite everything he’s done in the last few years, I don’t hate him. Somewhere there is still love, but without trust it has no chance to grow. To protect our child, which still costs us a lot of energy not only because of his highly sensitive nature and the associated characteristics, but also because of further health restrictions (he is now facing his third operation at the age of 7), I am now facing the shards of my relationship / family. I ended the relationship two months ago. How and when we tell our child I just do not know. A counselor told us to wait until we have moved apart. The move out does not go unfortunately so fast for several reasons (debts, domestic animal, father very much on assembly – I alone by work child and household hardly time).
Now I lie in bed crying almost every night and think about how I can best teach our sensitive son without him hurting himself again or doing strange things because he can’t cope with himself and his environment.
I read brochures, books forums – posts almost every night and wish it was written somewhere. But I know that I have the "right solution" I will not find. I have the utmost respect for the single moms and dads who made it and the kids are still happy.
Today is Monday and in a few hours daddy will be back on assembly and I will spend the week drying the tears of our son’s longing for daddy. And further consider what path I take into the future and how and where I get the courage to do it.

On that note, thank you for sites like this. Thank you for people who take the time and effort for this. Lg

Brigitta Aro-Banovics

06. August 2019 at 19:04

Martin

06. December 2018 at 23:45

Tina

06. December 2018 at 20:34

Elli

13. October 2018 at 09:18

Many thanks to Luisa and Dr. Widmer for publishing

This letter was beautiful, honest and strong. I had to cry when I read this.

Elli

13. October 2018 at 09:17

I cried when I read this. So honest, so much energy resonates.

Thank you Luisa& Dr. Widmer for publication

Princess in Love

01. June 2018 at 14:31

I also separated from my partner (not the father of the child) 4 weeks ago after 6 months of relationship, because he showed less and less interest in my child. However, I hate myself for this and thought it was wrong to make this decision as my child asks about him or asks if we see him or has a laugh on his face when he gets a picture on social media of him. That it voelleocht my child didn’t think it was as bad as I did and I hurt my child now took a loved one etc.

My ex hardly played with my child, cell phone and Tv were switched on so that my child watches this, he always stood between us as if he turned his back on my child to stand in front of me, hardly paid attention to my child, often forgot to fasten the child seat properly, loud music was only turned down after my request, I had to take him in my arms first before I could have gone to my child although he called for me. When a child wanted to play with him, he moved only very slowly and played only with reluctance, stopped playing after a few minutes and then only wanted to be with me again and my child was again hardly observed by him, my child asked what, came back from him very hesitant short answers saying nothing. With strangers he played big daddy, with his they didn’t man him for a long time .ehr saw and asked if it was his child only came a very frightened "leg" when asked why so frightened, he answers: he just wanted to answer quickly and did not know how and what therefore the no which came frightened for me. And a few other things. Nevertheless, ea hurts me and me my child sorry, because I simply .one it was wrong to commit the separation, since my child asks for or has a laugh in the face, if he pistet a picture of itself, which .a child times sees. I am really broken by these thoughts of having hurt my child, of having decided something that my child did not find bad at all.

Martin

11. April 2018 at 22:24

I answered the questions for myself and my ex-wife yesterday and made a decision this morning.
I have asked her to take 5 minutes when our son is in bed to talk to her for a few minutes.
And I apologized to her after almost 10 years. I told her how sorry I am to have hurt her so much, to have destroyed the life dream we had together.
I did not expect absolution and I did not get it. But I think we both went a step by doing this to make our peace with what happened.

Thank you for the courage that gave me the questions!
M

Am ex back together love another man

Alexandra Dr. Widmer

01. May 2018 at 20:29

I am very happy that you have shown this courage. A good first step. all the best for you and your family

Martin

10. April 2018 at 14:54

Thank you Mrs Widmer!

I answered the 26 questions for myself because my separation 2.5 years ago still bothers me a lot. I think about my expartner and of course our child every day, wonder what I could have done differently, wonder what I can currently do to at least relax our parenting relationship.
I have not found a solution but this kind of self reflection and v.a. Time lets one look more positively into the future again. I am grateful for that!

I have also been one of the men who has consoled himself with a woman about the previous one. Meanwhile I try to finish with the ghosts of the past, to admit my own mistakes and to forgive.

Thank you for your contributions and I wish all weekend dads, single parents and patchworkies only the best!
Anyone can do simple!

Am ex back together love another man

Alexandra Dr. Widmer

01. May 2018 at 20:29

Maria Weisshaupt

19. July 2017 at 7:16 pm

I have to express my heartfelt thanks for your work and the many positive insights you point out. Your voice alone is so positive and makes me look in here again and again for 2 years. I have been separated for a year with two children and the sadness of him being gone still weighs heavy.( maybe you can write something about abandonment only, also from a psychological point of view and how to deal with simply breaking off a relationship ) Despite years of couples therapy it just didn’t work out that we can continue to live as a couple. I am very sad about it and still hanging in the in-between phase between breaking up and the past of my family of origin. Your questionnaire shows the layers one after the other through which I also have to go and I am not sure yet if I can really let go but there is also a life after the breakup . I would wish that perhaps on the subject of transition to the patchwork family positive contributions you run across the way.:) You have often mentioned that it is not the same with a new partner.Is..I already have patchwork families in a circle of friends who seem as if they were a family of origin. even with common children. Because I think you can get back to that point already. at least this question does not let me go. Even after 4 years of fighting for the family I experience an explosion of emotions and your page , as well as your book help to go the way piece by piece further. Thank you ! lg Maria

Am ex back together love another man

Alexandra Dr. Widmer

22. July 2017 at 12:10

M

19. July 2017 at 11:28

Am ex back together love another man

Alexandra Dr. Widmer

19. July 2017 at 13:31

Hello M,
so it is! Greetings and all the best Alexandra Widmer

Carina Beyer

17. July 2017 at 21:17

Am ex back together love another man

Alexandra Dr. Widmer

18. July 2017 at 21:45

Katja Dmetreschen

17. April 2020 at 22:11

Katja Dmetreschen

18. April 2020 at 20:50

Claire

16. July 2017 at 22:26

unfortunately I never got a questionnaire like this when I separated a good 8 years ago. I would like to see many counseling centers doing training with you. It took me an incredibly long time to get the 1. and the 2. Separation to process and I have me there help in counseling centers and the psychologist sought and that was good so. But nothing has brought light into the darkness in such a clear and holistic way. Unfortunately I also found that many counselors and psychologists themselves have difficulty dealing with anger, so how are they supposed to teach it to clients? Thanks to Lusisa for agreeing to post the answers, I can 100% relate to her anger and think it’s great that she found a way to deal with her expartner.

Warm regards, Claire

Am ex back together love another man

Alexandra Dr. Widmer

17. July 2017 at 18:00

Further education would be super. :) Let’s see what comes. I am looking forward to tomorrow. Kind regards
Alexandra Widmer

Katha

15. July 2017 at 5:33 pm

Reading the many comments and the many questions will hopefully help me to break out of my current situation. At the moment so many things are crashing down on me that I have really lost my thread through my life. we are now almost 6 years apart but after many talks about hurt why it broke up we found each other again quite well and I was able to tell him everything u we wanted to go to 2 after he graduated from high school.educational path, so now make a new start. now he told me 4 weeks ago after passing abi that he has a new girlfriend and blocked us this week also on cell phone. our 6 year old daughter doesn’t understand the world anymore. And I also not. I am constantly crying, his grandparents, tell me I should change the feelings into a friendship, he thinks I should really suffer, then it will be okay again. I feel like a gutted goose. I have him the last few years always Erziehungstechnisch and betreuendstechnisch, the back free and have my studies in the rear that has suffered very much. Was in the spring because ofBurn-out in cure, then I come home and 5 weeks later this bad news. I am crying all over the place right now out of nowhere. I don’t know how to continue this, I feel so sorry for my daughter because unfortunately sometimes she catches it when I start crying car. Now he still emailed my parents that he is worried about me and our child even though I told him to cease and desist.
I really don’t know what to do right now. I would love to pack my child u do a volunteer service in Africa before starting school, unfortunately don’t know if all this can still be done in 4 weeks.

Lg u thank you for reading

Am ex back together love another man

Alexandra Dr. Widmer

15. July 2017 at 20:29

Katha

15. July 2017 at 17:12

Am ex back together love another man

Alexandra Dr. Widmer

15. July 2017 at 6:36 pm

Katha

15. July 2017 at 4:50 pm

Am ex back together love another man

Alexandra Dr. Widmer

15. July 2017 at 8:30 pm

Yvonne

14. July 2017 at 21:02

Am ex back together love another man

Alexandra Dr. Widmer

14. July 2017 at 22:26

Kirsten

14. July 2017 at 19:07

Am ex back together love another man

Alexandra Dr. Widmer

14. July 2017 at 20:00

Tina

14. July 2017 at 5:58 pm

Am ex back together love another man

Alexandra Dr. Widmer

14. July 2017 at 18:03

Gabi

14. July 2017 at 17:29

Am ex back together love another man

Alexandra Dr. Widmer

14. July 2017 at 5:35 pm

Dear Gabi,
i can understand you very well. It is unfortunately the way it is. I know, a sucky answer. Grieving is an important step and I’m sure it won’t be the last celebration. By writing something down, something will change in the. Be brave and do this at your pace. kind regards Alexandra Widmer

Caro

14. July 2017 at 17:04

Am ex back together love another man

Alexandra Dr. Widmer

14. July 2017 at 17:12

Ilse Maria Lechner

14. July 2017 at 16:02

Am ex back together love another man

Alexandra Dr. Widmer

14. July 2017 at 4:15 pm

Andreas

14. July 2017 at 15:14

Am ex back together love another man

Alexandra Dr. Widmer

14. July 2017 at 16:20

nice that also a father answers. Thank you so much for your words. As a therapist, I have encountered both injured mothers and fathers. It would be nice if there was more of a with each other. From personal experience I know how difficult it often is. Rationally we know what would have to be done. Emotionally, however, we are a long way from it. I too am still a "student". All the best for you/you
Alexandra Widmer

Sina

14. July 2017 at 10:10 pm

Am ex back together love another man

Alexandra Dr. Widmer

14. July 2017 at 22:21

Galaxy23

14. July 2017 at 13:41

Am ex back together love another man

Alexandra Dr. Widmer

14. July 2017 at 1:44 pm

Sina

14. July 2017 at 1:10 pm

Am ex back together love another man

Alexandra Dr. Widmer

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