I would like to write down at this point once my disordered thoughts to this pregnancy after the miscarriage. Sometimes it helps to have things out of your head. Of course I realize that all the thoughts and feelings I have are "luxuries". The luxury that I am pregnant now after all. Sometimes I am very strict with myself, and I think to myself that I am not allowed to complain about something, because I am pregnant. I do not hear foreign voices in my head, but my own voice from a few months ago.
Pregnant after miscarriage
So I know that I would have given anything to have the thoughts that I do now. Regardless of that, this pregnancy after the curettage is not an easy one. It is also not really relaxed. Unfortunately. I would like to be totally relaxed. Just like in the first pregnancy. I went through life with a naturalness that I no longer have now. I would not have had it with the twins either, if I had known the statistics, the probabilities and everything else. Fortunately, I did not know all this, and was therefore wonderfully relaxed and calm.
The only stupid thing is: In the meantime, unfortunately, I know much more. Not because I meticulously google everything you could have, but because I was also simply told a lot afterwards. What the narrators did not mean badly, I would never have taken it that way, but what I now know anyway. I now know that if you give birth before the age of 22. When the baby is born in the second trimester, no one can help him in a hospital. That at the full term of 23. The chances of survival are only 50% in the 2nd SSW, and it is not yet clear how the child will be. That only from the completed (!) 24. SSW, all the stops of intensive care are usually pulled out, because the chances of survival are then well over 50%.
These are numbers that I unfortunately know by now.
And that scares me to death because none of my children have ever made it past 37+3 weeks. That’s why they can tell me now that the ET is then and then, the cesarean section then about (without us having a date) 10-7 days before and I still say: From June/July I would like to have clarified everything that you have to clarify beforehand. Just in case I have to go to the hospital again for weeks (like with the twins).
Some facts about pregnancy after miscarriage
- Quickly get pregnant again after a miscarriage is such a thing. Can happen, but with me it lasted longer.
- A calculator for the fertile days, I can not recommend you. But I used the app "ovulation calendar" from Urbia.
- In my experience, the desire to have a child after a miscarriage is even more pronounced than before. It can even become all-encompassing.
- Pregnancy after a curettage is possible without any problems, but my gynecologist recommended waiting for one cycle so that the mucous membrane has completely built up and broken down. Otherwise it could be that the egg can’t implant so well, because the mucous membrane is still too stressed.
I don’t buy anything for the baby, because we are not yet in the "safe zone", the zone in which the baby could also be helped. It’s just too painful, the idea we could get something now and then have to give it away. Empty. It is only April and until August can still happen a lot. I will probably find an excuse in the "safe zone" why we don’t need to get anything NOW, and in the end we will be without diapers* after the birth.
These are my current (negative) thoughts that are going through my head. But there are also the positive ones. The "help I’m already so in love with our baby, it’s maddening" thoughts. And also the: "I’m being kicked, oh heavens I’m being kicked! Ge-tre-ten. Is that great" thoughts.
To another totally, boring, healthy pregnancy!
PS. There is, from the medical point of view, no reason to worry. Everything is absolutely exactly as it should be. But that’s the way it is with the ratio..
(By the way, it currently lives in my husband’s house. It always brings me back down to earth when I’m playing through Final Destination again.)
Last update on 12.10.2021 / Affiliate Links / Images from the Amazon Product Advertising API
Hello my dear I think you can start every pregnancy from scratch, no matter if there were uncomplicated SSW, miscarriages, disabilities or whatever before!
You can complain about side effects, about problem areas or the stupid tv program, whatever is annoying at the moment
You can also be relaxed if you can and just be happy!
My last SSW was also so boring but at some point the belly disturbs or in my case annoyed me beastly this get up at night because, the bladder tuttert and I found the comments "you wanted it so" or "had you known before " so of miss, but mostly came from men or childless, I have usually saved me an answer!
And if you do not feel like shopping yet, then so be it… Someday that will come for sure and you will not be without diapers of any kind
And if nevertheless only once gibts in the kkh yes which and since you do not live behind the moon are concerned in minutes also, at least the throw away variant .
You will be there when she is born, that will be enough for the baby and she will not have to stay naked I am sure .
So all is well as it is I think .
Yes, that’s what I always think with all the "what you need for the baby" lists. That you don’t really need all that and that as long as you live relatively centrally, you could get everything even after the birth. In my rational moments I am also very relaxed and think to myself "it will be ok".
I really like your idea of "with every pregnancy you can start from scratch". Because it is really like that, no matter how much you want it all, sometimes you just feel like complaining and grumbling. . I will now resolve to think at least once a day that maybe everything can go well.
I was like you. When reading the line "Bye baby. I love you!"I had to start crying right away, because I had exactly the same thoughts on the 22nd day of my pregnancy.05.2019. Also the heart of our Maya has on the 15th day of her pregnancy.05.19 in the 10. I stopped beating in the second trimester and had to have a scrape. We have been grieving for a long time, but we have also talked about it with everyone in our immediate environment, because it must not remain a taboo subject! It helped us a lot and now we have a memorial candle for our star Maya in our living room.
Now I am pregnant again (Halleluja!). But I have also read and heard the statistics… I am worried about everything and the days between the examinations drag on like chewing gum… However, this time there is a little voice in my ear telling me "everything will be fine this time"!". Even my husband hears this voice.
I really think that with every pregnancy you have to start from 0. Especially mentally! Don’t always compare and hope you don’t fall into the statistics again!
Positive thinking should pay off yes I have heard.
I keep my fingers crossed for your little miracle!
Dear Katharina, I understand you without having to go through this experience myself. But my girlfriend unfortunately. That’s how I know so much. Too much. Shortly after I got pregnant and of course I was happy but didn’t say anything until the third month, I was relaxed but didn’t buy anything until maternity leave and I called my daughter "baby" until she was born.
It’s a shame that all this knowledge shapes us and scares us so much. But good thoughts will come again and your baby will make it for sure. And sometimes someone has to tell us that everything is going to be fine and then it’s already done and it’s all good. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that your husband blows your thoughts away and time goes by quickly.
I always admire your everyday life with three kids, I only have one and sometimes don’t know where my head is at. You can do it, I am sure of it!
Dear Ann Kathrin,
this knowledge is sometimes blessing and curse at the same time. I am a very fact oriented person and therefore I sometimes need the knowledge and the facts and figures like a fish needs water. Books like the "mommy book" drive me nuts because they are so romanticizing and pink tuff that pink glitter falls right out of the pages. And on the other hand it would be so nice not to know so much. To let yourself drift again and to trust naturally that everything will be fine.
Thank you very much for your words of encouragement.
I wish with all my heart that everything will be fine for you guys. And if you are not yet ready to buy baby stuff, then that’s your right. Your instinct, your feelings will tell you / show you soon enough, when it is so far. Enjoy your pregnancy to the fullest& as well as it can You do everything as you see fit and think it’s right
there you speak something quite true! Maybe I just have to wait and see and at some point the baby/motherly instinct will tell me to go shopping for clothes and stuff! THANK YOU for the thought.
Oh, I can understand you so well I feel the same way, this fear after the miscarriage is sometimes really bad, especially at night it always catches up with me… But you can’t turn it off and unfortunately you won’t be as calm as with the previous pregnancies. But tell yourself again and again, everything will be fine. that’s what the psyche and the body need, positive attitude, even if it’s not so easy very kind regards
Hello Katarina, I usually read only quietly with.I would like to build you up a bit now. You write that you were already not so relaxed with the Twins and now after even more experience even less.But this is normal and also good.The responsibility for the 3 existing kids expresses itself there, not only the *luxus*anxiety for the 4.
A healthy child would be just better for the whole family…and therefore have confidence that your body will give you exactly this healthy child! The probability of this is increasing every day;)
oops you have misunderstood something, or I have not expressed myself clearly. With the twins I was quite relaxed, because I didn’t know all the statistics and so on. I only found out when the girls were already born and doing well.
As for the responsibility, of course you are 100% right, you didn’t have it before.
Every day in the belly is a good day!
I didn’t have a miscarriage, but as you say, after the first pregnancy I know things that I really can’t use. There are so many stories with difficult fates on the Internet once you are in the pregnant and children profession and you do not always scroll further. And this popular then hang in the head and as soon as the little worm does not move as usual, one assumes directly from the worst. That it may have simply turned and that’s why you don’t notice it as often and as strongly as before, you only find out when you’re almost crying and have the phone in your hand to call the doctor. A curse.
Wish us both another boring unspectacular pregnancy :-*
yes that is true. I also do not know what to do. I mean you can’t just live under a rock after the first pregnancy….
I wish you also a very boring, normal pregnancy.
I am just in the same situation 10 ssw droning miscarriage since 3 days with bleeding and pain.Was already 2 times in the hospital. DA my growing child with only 6.2 mm remained standing am recommends doctor to let it go on natural ways.We have 2 years on trying to get pregnant I am totally at the end.Have gynecologist appointment in 2 days.This is the worst Christmas I have ever experienced….
Dont’ Google with a bullet … The midwife gave me this advice! But what do I do? Of course googling – that’s how I found your wonderful blog, but at the same time feed my partly scary knowledge. I want to say, you are not alone! The now third pregnancy is completely different and I worry so much about the little worm. Maybe it’s the distance, there are almost 9 years in between, or generally my (reasonable ;)) age, or about the mere knowledge which one gets in various ways. Anyway, I wish you all the best for the further pregnancy and in August I am looking forward to read about the healthy "result" – because then I will go on maternity leave and will not find any distraction by my work and can read the whole day on the internet… Best regards