What a fuss we made trying to convince our first son that there is a Santa Claus. With son 2.0 we don’t do that anymore. There is no Santa Claus. This is also clear to the big son for some time. Let’s take away the Christmas magic from the children? Nope, I say.
Faith and Christmas
Christmas has something to do with religion. Jesus was born on Christmas. I googled that because I wouldn’t know otherwise. Religion and me, that does not fit together. Anyway, not the kind of religion that Christians& Co. exercise. According to a set of rules that has often made me bump into others (believers). Bold and me, that fits much better.
I have never been to church at Christmas, have no believers in the family, and have no idea of the festivals and customs. Some I get in my beloved historical novels, some I find medieval even today. Just to be clear: everyone is allowed and should believe what he or she wants to believe. Only I don’t want to notice any effects on me or my family from it.
Santa Claus brings the presents
Christmas is another thing and we also celebrate Easter: with colorful Easter eggs and sweets. We use the feast to meet with the family, which is shrinking more and more, to eat and to exchange ideas again. For me presents are also part of it. Pick out great things and like to get some too. I love presents! In Amazon I have several lists, for me and the children, which are constantly maintained.
At that time we told the big son that Santa Claus exists. This has already been taught to the children by the childminder and the daycare center. We put milk and cookies next to the Christmas tree the night before Christmas Eve with the then 3-year-old, and they were eaten the next day. In addition, the uncle dressed as Santa Claus came and presented gifts to all who recited something. A horror for my big son. At Christmas markets, he was often afraid of the giant man in the red coat. The only thing I find nice is the action of writing a wish list to Santa Claus, who even answers it. Children can send a real letter to Himmelfort and get an answer. However, this works wonderfully in the context of the family.
Santa Claus is a lie
But why lie to the children? One invests years in telling the child that there is a Santa Claus who brings the presents. Some even blackmail their children:
If you are not nice, Santa Claus will not bring you presents!
They’ll figure it out eventually anyway. Be it because they recognize the educator by the glasses behind the white beard and ask first questions or because they hear it from others. Do you want your child to be told by others that he was lied to all the time? Not a nice thought.
Santa Claus does not exist
With son 2.0 we do it differently now. We decorate the Christmas tree together, we eat and drink the cookies and milk ourselves. Gifts we get parents and grandparents and the wish list is for us so we know what the kids want. Welcome to reality.
In the past, Christmas was often the subject. It was especially about a lot of consumption:
Sarah blogs since 2010 on Mamaskind about life with child. She has three children: Son 1.0 (2010), son 2.0 (2014) and Puppiline (2017). This mamablog is at the same time her job. Privately she loves books, computers& console games as well as nerd stuff and reports on her experiences with parenting and children’s issues.
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Hmm…I’ll put it this way: we never told the mini hero directly that Santa Claus exists. This came about all by itself and I love the magic that this whole story creates for the Christmas season. And as long as the mini-hero still wants to believe in Santa Claus, I think that’s nice.
However, I have always designed the Advent wreath with him, painted the wish lists and decorated the tree at the beginning of the Christmas season. I think it’s so wonderful that we do this together. And I’m so happy when I see how excited he gets when we meet Santa Claus somewhere.
Every year he insists on making a little Christmas treat for Santa Claus (baking cookies), which he can then take with him when he has been there. So that Santa Claus has something to eat on his long journey.
It doesn’t have to be anything Christian for us. We create our own traditions and customs for the Christmas season and it is very packed with stories, fantasy and more for us and that somehow makes it so magical!
Creating your own traditions: I think that’s really nice. This is how we do it. We eat meat on Christmas Eve after all, wrap the presents already in the night of 24. under the tree so they look nice there until we unwrap them after noon.
Earlier we went to the grandparents / parents, now at least the Christmas Eve takes place with us.
I told my children that Santa Claus would bring the presents as long as children were small and dreaming of him, after that the parents would take care of the presents. But for us Christmas doesn’t start with Christmas Eve, we slowly decorate the apartment towards the first advent, bake cookies for the whole neighborhood and hand them out. For our family, it is simply the time of the year when we consciously spend more time with our family and make ourselves comfortable, so Santa Claus and the Christ Child play a nice supporting role.
I also have these thoughts. Christmas is more than a man with presents. It starts with us now as well: decorating, cookies, streaming Christmas music, crafts. <3
So it’s really a minor matter who brings the presents.
I also like your solution.
When I didn’t have a child I always said I didn’t want a Santa Claus because my sister-in-law made such a big fuss over my nephew. E.g. when someone said look at what the uncle and aunt have brought. You get nasty looks and venomous phrases like "but Santa brought it", etc. I did not want that for my child. I didn’t want mine to be lied to like that and i when is so mega disappointed that there is no one after all.
Now my daughter is 4 years old now and the last 2 years Santa Claus came she also recited a poem last year and it was sweet to see how much respect she had for him and how she admired him. I must say, however, that she has almost seen through it last year that it vll yet not exist. When Santa came in she started to say but grandpa how do you look and by a little distraction she lost the thought and was enchanted again and helped him hand out the presents who is who and recited her poem. This year I think no one will come because they will surely recognize this time definitely grandpa. Last year came yes also the question at the Bescherung where is eig grandpa. Well he must watch the reindeer. This year she will surely want to see them and of course I still don’t want her to be disappointed when she realizes there is no. This year we have by chance a small WeihnachtsWichtel now and then to visit with us. He is called fridolin and is yuna s little protector. He looks after her and gives her little letters every few days in the house so little suggestions of what yuna has done. For example, she had a fight with a friend, he wrote how it is with him and put a little book from conni to it. Yuna is now really thinking about many things right asks a lot. Of course, the Secret Santa also makes sure that she does not do too much nonsense because naughty children get of course a rod where only sweet is attached and gifts or wishes are reduced from the wish list if you do something really nasty. Zb others hurts spits etc. That there are no gifts at all I do not find good because that is not practicable. Children have in the age simply still outbreaks do not always hear immediately there can Santa Claus also nothing to change, and I’m already very consistent and Christmas without gifts because they just what has not done so great of course I do not want therefore I found the idea that he just cancels a wish in bad things quite good. but you can see that she takes the letters to heart and especially she is very happy about a praise from the elf when she has cleaned up all by herself or gives her favorite costume to her friend. That makes her very proud. It’s very cute to see how she soon looks for a letter every day. This year I think we will put a big sack with the presents in front of the door and let someone knock and leave a letter from fridolin that Santa has so much to do this year if yuna can not be so sweet to help him. And next year we will see how far she is already whether the Wichtelzauber still works or not then it will just be a nice family celebration where the family gives each other what and you just enjoy being together. So completely without Santa Claus I found then with child nevertheless not so great simply evenly also for other children if it in the kita then says he does not give and other child dreams disturbs. I like the Santa Claus belongs to the childhood and there is no adult who has a damage because he i when the realization got he eig none at all.
Interesting to read how families spend their holidays and customs. I wish you a wonderful christmas time and apologize for the long text. LG
Thanks for the long text! Is super and helpful.
I think it is totally ok that other parents do it differently. This applies to all topics of education.
I have not even thought about the fact that my little son could enlighten other children. Still he is too small, in order to notice this at all correctly.
My big son has however already a while out and trichtert the little one that there is no Santa Claus. In the family perfectly ok.
When son 2.0 is older, I will talk to him that everyone does it differently and that others believe in Santa Claus and that we should accept that.
That’s how I handle religion and my big son: I tell him that everyone can believe whatever he likes and should not be restricted in doing so. So he told me already several times that he believes in God. Perfectly ok for me. Everyone finds his way.
I find it quite nice when the children believe in Santa Claus or the Christ Child.
Even when I knew a long time ago that the Christ Child does not exist, I still gladly participated and left the room so that the Christ Child could put down the presents. Somehow that was part of it for me.
Personally I never had that "my parents lied to me" feeling.
Now it is so that with my husband Santa Claus used to come and we now always eternally discuss which figure now comes to our children.
I can understand your (your) motives, but I think it’s always a pity when you take away the glamour of Christmas from children. And this sounds meaner than I mean it now.
I don’t take it meanly, thank you for your opinion.
That we take the Christmas magic, I don’t think so. The trappings remain: decorating, cookies, tree, anticipation of the holidays and family, crafting gifts and of course the gifts. Just belong to it.
Whether they bring a legendary figure or the parents is irrelevant from my point of view. What is important is what you make of it. We want the celebrations to be memorable for our children.
There goes surely also without Santa Claus, which is naturally nevertheless there: as chocolate figure, in the stories. Only not as a gift bearer, but as a symbolic figure.
My big son had no other relation to Santa Claus either. The pure consumption thought.:D
I can still remember so well, the anticipation of the Christkind.Weeks before.And not once did I feel cheated when I learned the truth.In Berlin it is now unfortunately the for me "stupid "Santa Claus.But well. I have such nice memories of it, that I would like to pass them on very gladly.Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny are also coming.I do not feel as a parent in my ego hurt that someone other than me takes credit for the gifts.However, to threaten with Santa Claus I feel very wrong.
For us it is different again: I am a believer, we also go to church, but the presents are still brought by parents and grandparents. The one (faith) has for me nothing or at least not much to do with the other (gifts and consumption).
And so it makes then each family differently. How they are also different.
Just came up with the idea that we could look for a charity together with the kids, the kids donate some pocket money or toys and the parents donate something too. That would bring for me the sense of the feast in the foreground and balance the consumption a bit.