Finding yourself is a basic requirement if you are to lead a meaningful and fulfilling life at all. Every human being who exists has this longing within him to finally find himself. How you can do this, I describe to you in this article.
If you want to live yourself, you must first know your true self. This path of self-discovery can only happen when you turn your attention inward. On the outside are the many temptations that ultimately distract us from ourselves. However, to find the truth, you must look within. Only there you can find answers.
A seed contains all the information that the plant needs for its growth. This is also the case with you. Everything is within you.
1. Stop and hold yourself out
If you want to find yourself, you have to stop. Stop being busy, with the constant distraction from yourself, which does not really help you in life. Stop passing the time and only entertaining yourself.
If you’re really serious about self-discovery, you have to be able to stop and hold yourself out. Only when you stop and start doing nothing will you come face to face with yourself.
If you have successfully distracted yourself from yourself so far, then it is clear that it is totally unfamiliar and unpleasant to endure yourself at first. But you have no other choice. You need to sit down without any distractions and be able to perceive yourself.
No music, no images. Only you. Sit down and notice yourself:
- What thoughts are there?
- What do you feel in your body?
- What do you feel when you do nothing?
Notice in this exercise how you keep slipping into thinking. Thoughts are also an act of doing. They keep you busy. They are like the radio or the television, they are sprinkling you. In this case, switch off the doing again and again by waking up from the sleep of thinking and going into perception.
Keep noticing your breath and try to experience the feeling that comes up. Do nothing with it. Let everything be there. Be lovingly aware of what arises and happens by itself. Do not judge and above all: do not flee. Stay there. Even if it gets hard, you can feel through any feeling that appears today.
In this process, it helps you to know how to consciously deal with feelings and learn meditation.
2. Find yourself in silence
To meet yourself, you have to go through all the layers that come to the surface when you do nothing. Silence helps you to do that. Only in silence can you recognize and find yourself. You need silence without any distractions. So take time for yourself every day in solitude; at best also in nature, and perceive yourself as described in the previous step.
3. Become more independent to find yourself
Finding yourself means becoming more independent and therefore more self-reliant. How will you find yourself if your focus is on needing things on the outside??
Maybe you think you need money, your dream job, family, friends, soul mate, new place to live, new car, career or other things.
If you try to find your happiness in these or other things, I can already tell you that this search is futile. No matter what you do on the outside, it will eventually bring you back to yourself.
In my life I also thought for a long time that I would find happiness when I finally found the right life partner. With this I have made my happiness dependent on something outside, as many others do. I found this woman and everything was dreamy. But one day everything unexpectedly collapsed. She was gone overnight and therefore no longer a part of my life.
It threw me back onto the hard ground of reality, unprepared. I fell into a hole and suffered as I had not suffered for a long time. I felt lost and lonely, as if an elementary pillar in my life had collapsed.
This low could only occur because at that time I had not learned to be independent. I made my happiness dependent on the presence of a life partner. Many are under the illusion that they will find happiness in their lives through this.
True happiness, however, can only be found through independence, because it is unshakeable.
As long as you make yourself dependent on something outside, be it things, circumstances or people, you will not be able to find yourself.
You have to get to your core first. Once you are connected to it, you don’t need the things on the outside anymore, because you have connected yourself. Only through this you are able to build up a really loving relationship to all things.
Is it love when you are with a person because you need him or her??
Probably not. Read more about this in the article "Learning to love unconditionally".
So become more independent step by step. Recognize the things you cling to in order not to have to feel a feeling of being alone, lost or empty inside.
However, if you bravely face these feelings, you can awaken to the true reality: You already have everything you need inside of you. You don’t need anything from the outside, but are already complete as you are now. But you can only gain this insight if you face all your feelings, feel them bravely and follow the further steps here.
4. Find yourself: Take full responsibility
By releasing your emotional dependencies, you begin to take responsibility for your life. To find yourself means to live yourself as an independent being. Every time you give up the responsibility (because you need z.B. If you want a partner to make you happy), you deny yourself the opportunity to find yourself.
- No one else is to blame for your life situation
- You are an independent, adult being, who can live independently
- Nothing on the outside can make you happy in the long run
- You can only find happiness in a life in which you basically no longer need other things
5. Know your true self
In the first steps you have learned to turn your attention inwards, to perceive your thoughts and feelings. Now another important step is happening: The realization of what you are and what you are not.
In general, you are not your thoughts and feelings. You are more the vessel through which thoughts and feelings can flow. But these can only flow if you do not hold on to them.
In the step of your self-knowledge you can determine how you define yourself through certain thoughts and feelings. Some also define themselves by their body. All thoughts that start with "I am…" and that you think you really are, are very interesting in this process. These are part of your illusionary self-image, because the truth lies deeper.
You are the perceiving consciousness.
Your self-knowledge is a longer process. You can find more help here: Self-knowledge: recognize who you really are.
6. Find out what you really want
Of the many millions of possibilities nowadays, there are perhaps a handful that are really relevant to you. It is the things in which your soul wants to express itself and make experiences. It is the things that are important to you, that gladden your heart, that give you pleasure and form a bridge to your enthusiasm.
But you can only find out all this if you really deal with yourself, ask yourself these questions and collect experiences. Discover your values, desires and goals, as described in the book "Self-realization".
Learn more in this book: What Self-Realization Really Means and How to Start Doing It.
View all info and reading sample
In your self-reflection, you can answer the following questions:
- How do I envision my life in 5 years??
- What are the things that really bring me joy or that I am good at??
- What would I do if my existence was secured??
- What do I like and what do I like the most?? Form your opinion about music, clothing, food, morals, culture, interaction, world events, etc.
- How would I feel if I were completely independent and would lead my own life by myself??
- How would I live it and what would I do?
- What people would I attract into my life and what would be my relationship with them??
- What do I live for?
These things have to do with the individuality of your soul and you can only find yourself by experiencing those preferences. Make your self-discovery an exciting project by trying new things, expanding your hobbies and social circles. Follow what interests you, does you good, brings you joy or gives you strength.
Stand up for yourself and in doing so learn to live an independent and happy life without waiting for external circumstances to happen. Live yourself, now!
7. Live yourself: Follow your intuition
Intuition is the ultimate and bombproof guide through your life. It is a quiet feeling of rightness and coherence. It is the mouthpiece of your soul that shows you the way. Thus you always know in principle what to do or what not to do. what to refrain from doing. You know in every moment what is right for you and if you are in the right place.
But you can only recognize the quiet voice of intuition as soon as you have trained the perception for your inner self. I have addressed this in the first steps of this guide. You can read more about this in the article Using intuition and of course in the book "Self-realization".
Finding yourself is not a process that happens overnight. It is a way. I call this way self-realization. Here you realize more and more over time who you really are and what you want to bring from your innermost being into the world.
The hardest part is to refrain from constantly following your desire and also to avoid painful or. Being able to withstand unwanted feelings. By being able to no longer flee from any feeling, you can recognize yourself more and more in depth.
The truth of who you really are lies beneath the thoughts and beneath the feelings. Allow everything to happen and pass by.Know that you are not all that, but something even more essential.
If you want to experience yourself and life in depth, the following book is a wonderful companion for you: Self-Realization – Know Yourself and Realize Your Meaning in Life.
Also in the email course you will be supported on your path of self-discovery and stay connected to my work.
I’m happy if you have questions and post them as comments below. Only those who have questions have a real interest in finding the truth.
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