I want my ex(es) back!

What you should do now, I tell you in this article.

Your boyfriend broke up with you and now you are devastated. One minute you were happy with the love of your life and the next minute it’s all over. You do not know what to do anymore. You can only make one clear thought: I want my ex(s) back. I want to help you with this article. I will explain to you why you feel you need to win your ex back and whether it would even make sense to get back together with him/her.

Table of contents

  1. I want my ex back! Why is that?
  2. I want my ex(s) back! What should you do now?
  1. Initiate contact ban
  2. Overcome heartbreak
  3. Find your way back to yourself
  4. Why did your ex(s) leave you?
  1. You do not want a new relationship
  2. You want a renewed relationship with your ex(s)

I want my ex back! Why is this?

After the breakup you are going through a very difficult phase. You are devastated and believe that you can never be happy again. You feel abandoned by everyone and tell yourself that your ex was the perfect partner for you. You are afraid of being alone and of never being able to love someone like that again. You miss togetherness and intimacy.

To make a long story short: You have been emotionally hurt and now you want to get rid of this pain. You idealize your ex and associate everything happy and beautiful in your life with him/her. The desire to win back your boyfriend(s) will then logically come all by itself.

You believe that you still love your ex and that a new relationship would solve all your problems. But I have to disappoint you. If you want to get your ex back for the reasons mentioned above, it has nothing to do with love. You are just desperate and see no other solution to bear your grief.

To really judge whether you want your ex-boyfriend back out of true love, you need distance from the old relationship. You have to free yourself from the negative stream of thoughts and find your way back to yourself. Only then you will be able to look at the whole situation soberly and to judge whether you still love your ex or not.

I want my ex(s) back! What you should do now?

Initiate a contact ban

The very first thing you should do is to immediately set up a no-contact policy. This means that you completely stop contact with your ex(s) for a period of time. Write a short message and tell him/her that you just need some distance to process the breakup. You can see in the picture how such a message could look like.

Please don’t make the mistake and just start ignoring or even blocking your ex(s). You would look like a petulant child and lose the last bit of your dignity.

Overcome heartbreak

The contact ban gives you time to calm down emotionally. You can work through the breakup and overcome your heartbreak. This is extremely important in order to really judge whether you want to start a new relationship with your ex.

Many people find it helpful to talk to others about their feelings. Talk to your friends or family about what you are going through. They know you and they know how best to help you through this period of deep grief. They also make you feel that you are not alone.

If you don’t want to talk to anyone right now, you should keep a journal. You can write down your thoughts and feelings in it and thus understand them better. You learn to deal with them better, and thus return to your life piece by piece.

After the breakup there will be a phase in which you will miss your ex(s) really painfully. You want to feel his closeness again or smell his hair. But you must not give in to this urge. You would reopen your old wounds and only aggravate your heartbreak further . Stand firm and keep up the contact ban. I promise you that this pain will eventually end. To get through this phase successfully, you could listen to heartbreak songs for example. When others talk about their sorrow (in this case singing), it helps you too, because you know that you are not alone with your sorrow.

Find your way back to yourself

After the breakup, it is very important that you take time to take care of yourself. Go out and do what you enjoy doing. Catch up on all the things you did without out of consideration for your ex(s). Get together with your friends and pursue your hobbies. You should also try new things. You may even discover a new passion.

You can also experiment a bit with your style. Try a different hairstyle and buy new clothes. This way you can get your self-confidence back and at the same time make some changes, which are always helpful to really finish with a period of life.

You should also go on vacation with your friends. Here you can come down emotionally and distract yourself with other things. You will create a physical distance to your ex and this will help you to get through the period of non-contact better. On vacation, for example, you’re not on your cell phone as much, which reduces the risk that you’ll call your ex(s) out of sheer longing.

Why did your ex leave you??

Now that you have dealt with the pain of the breakup, it’s time to figure out the reasons for the breakup. Your ex will have already given you some reasons, but in my experience, the real reasons are rarely addressed during a breakup. I don’t mean to say that your ex(s) lied to you. He/she just didn’t tell you the whole truth.

During your breakup talk, your ex(s) will surely have told you that he/she would no longer love you. This is probably also true. This is not the whole truth. You need to find out why he/she has no feelings for you anymore. It doesn’t matter whether you want to win him/her back or not. If you know the real causes, you can work on yourself and fix your "weak points" so that you don’t make these mistakes again in the future.

Some breakup reasons include:

  • lack of loyalty
  • the feeling of not being loved anymore
  • A wrong distribution of roles
  • Boredom in the relationship

I have written an extra article on this topic, which you should definitely read. If your problem is "I want my ex(s) back", you have to find out why he/she is in love with you you need to know the reasons for the breakup.

I want my ex back: is it still true??

After you have come down emotionally and were able to build up distance to the situation, you can now rethink your position. How do you feel about the initial statement "I want my ex back"? opposite? The best thing to do is to take a piece of paper and make a list. Write down everything you liked and didn’t like about your friend and the relationship. This pro-con list will help you to accurately judge whether it really makes sense to start a new relationship with your ex.

In my opinion there should be only one reason why you want your ex back: you still love him/her and believe that a new relationship with him/her can work better.

If you have doubts about this or if other reasons than love play a role in your considerations, you should finally get over him/her. You will find someone again whom you will love and with whom you can be happy.

Please take your time with your decision. If you act rashly for the wrong reasons, it can end very badly for you. You should also not let yourself be influenced by others. There is only one person in the world who can answer this important question for you. And that’s YOURSELF. If you need further help for your decision, I recommend you to read my article "Was my ex(s) the right one for me??" to read.

Your considerations can lead to two possible decisions:

1. You do not want a new relationship

2. You want a new relationship with your ex

You still want your ex(s) back. In this case, you should make even more effort to analyze the previous relationship. You have made mistakes that you must not make again in the future. You need to work on yourself and become the best version of yourself. Develop your personality and acquire the characteristics that a man or a woman should have. A woman in a relationship should have (help on this in the in-depth articles such as "Making a man in love" or "What qualities do women look for in a man??").

When you have done all this, it is time to get back in touch with your ex. Write him/her a short WhatsApp message and ask how he/she is doing. If he/she should answer you, you can talk a little bit.

Do not talk about negative topics like your past relationship, the breakup or how bad you felt about it. Present the new you to him/her instead and tell him/her about your experiences. If things go well, you can soon ask him/her out.

If your ex agrees to meet you, you have to present your changes to him/her. So far you have only told him/her about it, but now it is time to prove it to him/her. For tips on meeting your ex(s), see this category. If you manage to show him/her that you are again the attractive person he/she fell in love with, your chances of a love comeback are not so bad.

Following this date, you should make an effort to arrange further meetings with your ex. You have to seduce him/her again step by step. Start flirting with him/her again. But be very careful, because if you are too aggressive, you can scare him/her off. So pay close attention to how he/she reacts to your attempts and adjust your behavior accordingly.

I want my ex(s) back – more interesting questions

How can I get my ex back?

To get your ex back, it is important that you first build up distance to your ex now. Initiate a no-contact policy and get over your heartbreak. Take some time for yourself and do only what you enjoy. You need to become a happy person again and get rid of your emotional dependency on your ex. Only then should you write to her again. How the perfect first message could look like, you will learn in the corresponding article.

Why do I want to win my ex back?

Why do you want to win back your ex who hurt you so much emotionally?? After the breakup you suffer from severe heartbreak. You think you will never be happy again because you have lost the love of your life. You can’t imagine that you can ever feel so much for a woman again. You only remember the beautiful moments with your ex and therefore you wish nothing more than to get together with her again.

I want my ex back – Is that even possible??

What are the chances that you can be happy together again?? Unfortunately, no one can answer this question exactly, because it depends on your specific situation. What I can tell you though is that I see the chance as basically intact. Your ex fell in love with you once, so why shouldn’t she do it again?? However, in order for her to do that, you need to take action yourself.

My secret tip: How to get back together quickly!

At the end of the article I have a very special tip for you. My ex-colleague Adrian Celan has written a book which I can highly recommend to you. The best thing about the whole thing is: it is free of charge. In the book there is a strategy described in only 106 pages, with which you can win back your ex-boyfriend(s). you will get:

-> a clear and structured plan, in which exactly is described, what you get
when to do and say

-> a psychological technique that allows you to communicate with a hitherto unknown
"Love Hormone" rekindle the feelings of your ex towards you

You also have the option of booking a personal consultation. This service includes a coaching session where you can discuss your individual situation with an expert via email. The best part is that you can try this service for free for 14 days. Then you will notice whether it can help you or not. If you don’t want to do that, you can of course just get the book. click on the button and you will get to the page where you can get the free book now!

I hope I could help you.

You are on the page"I want my ex(es) back".

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