You wonder what the difference is between habit or love? Feelings are sometimes hard to tell apart. In a long partnership, therefore, the question may arise whether you are with your partner out of sheer convenience or true love. We’ve put together tips to help you get clarity.
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Habit or love: what does a relationship of love look like?
Relationships can become habitual after a long time or continue to be about pure love. A relationship of love feels easy and carefree. A relationship out of habit, on the other hand, leads quite quickly to inner dissatisfaction, indifference, or even remorse.
- Love is based on interests. If you love someone, it is in your best interest that they are happy.
- Therefore, don’t measure who does more around the house or who is more useful to the other person. In a loving relationship, you do not manipulate your partner to get your way, even with the help of reproaches.
- In a relationship of love, you have the freedom to be yourself – with all your strengths and weaknesses. Because love does not need control. Instead, you have enough trust in your partner that they will not hurt you.
- In a loving relationship both partners grow. You work together more than you would alone, and grow together and show affection on a regular basis. Here you go forward together strengthened.
- Sincere love withstands many difficulties. Compromise willingly for the sake of your partnership. Even if you have to go separate ways, the parting does not end painfully, but respectfully.
- Love a person, don’t always put yourself first. Your partner does the same. Because love diminishes your own ego. Also, don’t expect your partner to give you things that they can’t give themselves.
This is how you recognize a relationship out of habit
A relationship out of habit is more effort than happiness. The partnership takes away your energy instead of adding lust for life.
- In a relationship out of habit, you only think about what advantage it brings you. Whether that’s paying bills, or for your social status.
- If habit has spread in your relationship, you do not always notice it immediately. Love often disappears insidiously and is replaced by routines and everyday life.
- A relationship out of habit can feel like ballast, but it doesn’t have to be. Such a loveless relationship can also simply feel like a business relationship. Your life in a partnership is going smoothly, but lacks affection, love and the happiness that the right partner can give you.
- If you live in such a relationship for a long time, it can quickly become very toxic and painful.
- At the end of a relationship out of habit you see the time together as wasted. You want to erase all memories of your ex-partner.
This is how you can save your relationship
Every relationship has conflicts. If you care about your partnership, the following points can help you get out of the habit hole:
- Put yourself in your partner’s shoes: Try to put yourself in your partner’s shoes when conflicts arise. If you can’t do that, then ask directly how your partner feels about the relationship.
- Talk to each other: It is also important to solve problems concretely, and not just to make empty resolutions. Therefore, you should not only say that something must change in the future, but directly address and implement what needs to be different.
- Take a break: If you are in a crisis, you should also take time out from it and have a relationship break. Spending time alone, with friends or family can clear your mind.
- Remember together: If the here and now does not look rosy, perhaps a leap back to times when you were in love will help. Remembering together how beautiful being together can be can make the current crisis look smaller.
- Go to therapy: If all this does not help, a couple therapist can help. An expert can provide objective suggestions for solutions.
- Attention: However, if your partner is actually actively and knowingly manipulating you, you should consider ending the relationship for your own good.
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