Forms of polyamory – love in thirds

There are many forms of love. Relationships between two men or women and between a man and a woman. And these are only the combinations that include the conventional genders. If I would enumerate everything completely here, the list would be endless. Just as in love itself, there are also different forms of polyamory. But there is one commonality in most forms of love: there are always two people in the relationship. The relationship model most often encountered in our society is that between two people. Few know, however, that this model is not so old yet. Only since the romance monogamous relationships are announced. Before polyamory was not rare. So anyone who says polyamory is an invention of the modern age is wrong.

Bouquet in the form of a heart held by two hands

Amy Shamblen via Unsplash

The role of partners in the different forms of polyamory

Primary, secondary and tertiary are probably the most important terms when it comes to the forms of polyamory. In summary, here is the definition of the relationships with the partners. If there is a primary relationship, there is a central partner with whom life is spent. This can include marriage, family planning, and a shared home. A secondary relationship is also a long-term partnership. However, this is by far not as serious as the primary relationship. Children and marriage are usually not an issue. Tertiary relationships are rather short love affairs, where there is no deeper connection.

The basic forms of polyamory

There are three different relationship models of polyamory, which are most common. In the Primary-Secondary model there is a fixed primary partner. However, relationships outside this partnership are allowed. However, only as long as the primary relationship remains in the foreground. This model is also called an open relationship. Another concept is the one where there are several primary partners with equal rights there are. One lives, decides and plans together. Here there is no difference between the partners. No one is more important or less important. This form of polyamory is rather rare. The reality looks usually simply different. A healthy togetherness is more difficult than with the other forms. The last model is that of the Poly singles, also Non-primary model Called. Here there is no primary partner at all with whom a long-term future is planned. It is voluntarily decided for the single existence. A steady relationship simply does not fit the lifestyle here.

Extended forms of polyamory

In addition to the main forms, there are, of course, a lot of variations. Many also simply do without definitions completely. So there is no commitment to either a primary or a secondary or tertiary partner. Furthermore, there are many different mixed forms. For example, a mix of monogamous and polygamous relationship. Here only one of the two partners lives polygamously. However, the other person agrees and knows about it. However, there are also forms in which the other partner does not want to know about the other affairs. These are rather problematic, because the danger of misunderstandings and problems is higher without proper communication.

Three people wearing heart-shaped sunglasses and hugging each other

Dimitar Belchev via Unslpash

Communication – the most important element in all forms of polyamory

Good communication is probably the most important element of polyamory. One must draw clear boundaries and be honest with oneself, as well as with the partner. Jealousy is already a sensitive issue in monogamous relationships. If a third or fourth person comes along as well, it doesn’t get any easier. In summary, a polyamorous relationship involves a lot of work. Just like a ‘normal’ one. Trust and good communication are most important. If you would like to learn more about polyamory in all its forms, you can visit the Polyamory Network (PAN). Here you can find much more information. In addition, meetings are offered here for people who want to network and are looking for like-minded people. People who are simply curious are also welcome here.

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