Why do foreign women enter into relationships or marriages with Russian men, whose image now is far from the best? They are machos, drunkards, ruffians – is probably the common cliche. RBTH has asked women and girlfriends from all over the world why single women also Russian "Bears" Should consider.
Attention! All information is without guarantee or warranty – because it is based solely on the personal experiences of the ladies interviewed.
/ Alena Repkina
"He always thinks about security, building a house or a dacha. That’s ok. I’ve never met a man in his 30s who feels bad just because he can’t offer his lady of the heart a fancy apartment yet, or who would have thought about a permanent home at all", says Sydney Vicidomini from Italy, who lived with her Russian boyfriend for two out of a total of three and a half years.
"Russians are ready to live an adult life by the time they are 20 or 25. Germans or Italians don’t do this until they are 35 at the earliest. I think it’s cowardly to start so late.", says Malwina Hołownia from Poland, married for two years to a Russian man. "This is why I like Russian men – they want to take responsibility for life and live properly."
"Russian men are not afraid of commitment or family. They see it as something natural. For both of our cultures, family is the most important thing,", tells Paula Neira Pardo from Colombia, who was together with her Russian for two years, until just a month ago problems arise.
But it’s not just a matter of acting more mature than one’s age would suggest, Vicidomini adds: "Life isn’t all about security and building huas. It’s also about going out, vacations and adventures together. I think life should not become too comfortable. And here the Italian comes through – I then make everything a bit more exciting."
And talking about feelings and emotions is also difficult for Russian men: "They are very caring, but it’s hard for them to talk about problems with their partners," recalls Vicidomini, also says Pardo.
“They don’t learn to talk about their feelings and emotions in childhood, and that can sometimes be a problem when they grow up," says Hazlehurst. ‘Strong boys don’t cry!It’s the stupidest phrase I’ve ever heard, but Russian guys hear it all the time", Frenchwoman Cecile Rouge, who married a Russian 16 years ago, has observed. "Russian society as a whole adheres much more strictly to gender roles, they think much more classically than in France. The man earns the money, protects the family and the woman should stand behind them like a rampart."
2. Chivalry and Romance
/ Alena Repkina
"He is always romantic when you least expect it. He puts flowers on my pillow to wake me up or lights candles for me to bathe in", says Belinda Gibson from South Africa, who married her Russian husband two years ago. "He doesn’t like cliches or bouquets of flowers on time for sunset. He has his own somewhat raw, but authentic style that always blows me away."
"I call my husband ‘Knight without Fear and Fault’ because he confessed his love to me on our third date", Vicidomini recalls.
And Hołownia says: "He treats me like a princess like a real gentleman, buys flowers, carries the bags and pays in the restaurant." Rouge also confirms this and she as a Frenchwoman should probably know it.
For Annie Profatilova from the USA and Sophie Hazlehurst from New Zealand, this was a completely new experience. "I think a Russian man is chivalrous and romantic, I’ve never seen anything like that in New Zealand, Turkey or with English guys I’ve dated", says Hazlehurst.
3. Priorities set
/ Alena Repkina
Gibson concludes, "I know, without him having to tell me he would kill a bull for me. He’s ‘real’ – if that makes any sense." "And even if he is rude to everyone, he is still nice to me and I am always in his first place", adds Bree Winchester from the USA.
Sylphina Angel Gimony Semenova soon celebrates second wedding anniversary with her Russian "better half": He is responsible and we, my daughter and I, are always the most important for him."
The American Nadine Aguilar is especially grateful to her Russian: "He supports me in most of my plans, no matter how crazy or strange they may be."
But Hazlehurst also sees a problem in this: jealousy can quickly become a major issue. "Sometimes he gets worried when I just talk or write to another man. My Russian friends at work say that it is the same for them. So it seems to be something cultural."
Aguilar sees it more philosophically: "Like most Russians, he often speaks very clearly and honestly, which is okay for Russians. But for non-Russians this is sometimes unexpected, especially when they translate it into English. Russians can hardly hide their true feelings like Americans can. But this can also be seen in a positive light: Russians are just less fake. After all, we Americans always want to be politically correct and think a lot about what we want to say and how, so it doesn’t offend anyone.
4. Russian soul in his own house
/ Alena Repkina
"In the end, I loved the Russian just as much as I loved Russia – I didn’t expect that", Vicidomini admits. Gibson is probably another example: "I’m constantly amazed and fascinated by the language and the cultural differences – as well as the similarities. They often make us laugh and provide conversation material for hours."
Hołownia also wants to have observed slight complexes: I know not why, but Russians, especially men, constantly feel that they are worse than Germans or Americans. I think, they should have there no complexes."
5. Energy for life
/ Alena Repkina
"He is an adventurer! Nobody makes me laugh like him", says the British Elizabeth Black. Gibson also knows this: "Although he is totally serious about important things, he is also incredibly spontaneous when it comes to life."
And Profatilova’s husband is a talented painter and has an ear for classical music. I’m sure his youth in Moscow contributed something to his cultural background.".
But, of course, it can not always rain roses: Semenova has also noticed weaknesses "Beer and vodka". "I think Russian men like to drink because all their friends do it. For me everything is perfect, except his drinking. But I’m glad that he controls and minimizes this step by step more and more."
Gibson sums it up briefly: "Its extremes are like Russia itself, there is no in-between!"
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