The children of the new age – our children! – herald a new era. Their intuition is as strong as their will. They only follow what comes from the heart and is authentic. This makes them powerful development agents for our consciousness. They lead us parents into healing old hurts and releasing everything that does not belong to us.
The impulse conversations I get to have as a coach with many moms right now inspired me to write this blog. He is long overdue. Because it’s time to finally see our children with different eyes – and let them unfold their power!
Saying no and power struggles
I know all the situations that the mothers describe to me in conversation: I, too, was often overwhelmed with our children. I despaired when they didn’t do what I told them to do. I yelled at them, because I didn’t know what else to do. There were days that consisted only of saying no and power struggles.
Especially on our firstborn, Ben, we chafed. He is strong-willed. They know what they want. All too often it was what we didn’t want to do. We thought we knew better. After all, we were the parents and he was the child. So WE told them where to go!
That is education. That is consistent. A little bit of rigor never hurt anyone.
Desperation is at the beginning of change
Yes, it did!
This dawned on us at the latest when, after a Triple P course, we locked Ben in the room as we had learned when he wouldn’t listen to us for the third time. He screamed, we screamed. He was in a bad way, we were in a bad way. That could not be the way!
This was one of the moments when our transformation as parents began.
We slowly allowed ourselves to question our beliefs and patterns of behavior. In a long process we learned to check whether a "no" is really necessary – or whether it is just the expression of an acquired reflex.
We reviewed our rules and saw which ones really came out of us, and which ones we merely made up because we knew nothing else. It was sobering to see how much we had taken over. An infinitesimally small part of them really corresponded to the core of our being.
Shorts in late autumn? THEIR business!
Of course, there were areas where clear guidelines were still needed. Seat belts in the car are a must. Watching out for traffic when crossing the street, likewise. I don’t want our delicate floor to be walked on with ski boots either.
But if Ben wants to eat bread with melted cheese for breakfast, sing at the table, or wear shorts in late fall, that’s his business. Even though it often cost us enough overcoming to respect his sometimes questionable wishes.
So we gradually detached ourselves from ways of thinking and patterns of behavior that did not belong to us. We relaxed. And Ben relaxed with us.
Our children are our teachers
This led to a new inner attitude towards our children. We finally saw that these young people already have everything we thought we had to give them. We began to see them as perfect beings in their own right.
Education starts from the opposite: That we have to show children what they are allowed to do and what they are not allowed to do. That they only become "whole" by us explaining the world to them and how to behave in it.
We did not stop completely with this either. The old conditioning is still in our bones too. But we redefined the game by allowing ourselves to learn from them.
Because they are our mirror. As such, they show us crystal clear where we are still twisted. When they trigger us with their behavior and we perceive resistance within ourselves, we look extra hard: Why am I getting so upset right now?? Where did this come from? Oh yes, back in the day… I was also reprimanded when… What did that do to me?
When the expectations of others are more important than our own needs
And so these children give us parents the great opportunity to come into healing. This is especially true for those mothers and fathers who themselves were brought up in a strict and authoritarian way and carry around a big backpack of adopted rules of etiquette.
This burden weighs heavily! In trying to live up to all expectations and demands, we put our true needs on the back burner. We limit ourselves. We build a wall around our heart to protect ourselves. And before we know it, joy gives way to stress, loving understanding to saying no, trust to fear.
In this state we also project to the outside: The job, life, money, others – it’s all our fault if we’re not doing well. Only we do not.
How about you?
What’s your tolerance for loud and wild play?? Do you see red when your child is wasteful with something? Are you ashamed when it doesn’t greet others?? Is it a no-go for you to be late for an appointment?
If just reading about these situations makes you nauseous, you may be going through life in a tight corset of conditioning. How easily you can still breathe?
From powerlessness to self-empowerment
When we let ourselves be driven more by the expectations of others than by our own needs, we have mostly forgotten who we are. We have forgotten that we are love. We have forgotten that we are inseparably connected to everything and everyone.
And we have forgotten that our life is always a mirror of our own thought patterns and expectations!
The first step in healing is to see and accept our condition unveiled. We may become open to questioning ourselves and our lives. We may realize that we are responsible for everything in our lives. We are powerful creators – we are constantly creating! Only WHAT, is the question.
This realization brings us from powerlessness back to empowerment.
The healing look back
The next healing step leads to the past. We may look back and look with open eyes at the hurts we suffered as a child. They exist in EVERY childhood.
I myself was proud for years to have had it so easy. I was so happy as a child!
Then – triggered by personal crises – I remembered piece by piece. I had never really felt understood. I was deeply hurt by being reprimanded for things that I had not intentionally meant to be bad! And as a teenager I tried frantically to teach my parents how to communicate with each other in a more appreciative way – unsuccessfully.
The clear look back will also bring out anger in you. You don’t have to stop loving your parents when you get angry at what hurt you in your childhood! And if you don’t love your parents, but reject them, then maybe now you can forgive them. For EVERYTHING they gave us was a gift! Even the difficult moments.
Life always presents us with just the situations we need to grow. And these situations often do not come from the picture book with the pink cover.
Children of the new age only allow what is authentic
It is becoming apparent that our children will be spared much of this. The consciousness of us humans is increasing, and so is the consciousness of many parents. This leads to fewer children having to go through the same crises that led to our own awakening.
The children of the new age bring with them a new quality: they are tangibly connected to the Source. They follow the joy. Their intuition is as strong as their will. Therefore, they will not let us do to them what we still silently let them do to us.
One consequence is that more and more young people refuse to attend schools that function according to the old system. They will rebel against societal rules that have been established not out of love, but to exercise manipulation, power and control.
They seek community, not lone wolves – they seek cooperation, not competition. To connect with others, they openly accept new technologies – or develop them themselves.
They expose what is not authentic by simply not following it. They now only follow what comes from the heart. Everything else they reflect back. This makes them powerful development workers of the consciousness of us parents!
As a parent, you have a choice: you can rebel against your child, massaging him or her to no end and losing more and more of your joy in the process. Or you can see and accept the gift that being has in store for you.