Writing a personal eulogy for next of kin such as a mother or father is not easy. After the death of a loved one, the last words should represent beautiful shared experiences and memories.
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Dipl.-Ing. Dierk Werner
Giving a eulogy involves a lot of preparation and should be planned | Image source: © Fotolia
Giving a eulogy involves a lot of preparation and should be planned | image source: © Fotolia
Compose& Delivering eulogies – samples, templates& Examples
Writing a personal eulogy for next of kin such as a mother or father is not easy. After the death of a beloved person, the last words should represent beautiful common experiences and memories. A eulogy should reflect the personality of the deceased as well as possible, help in coping with grief and be comforting for all involved. For this, both friends, relatives, saints or funeral orators can express condolences that honor the loved one and evoke beautiful moments. Here at stylish-gravestones.de help you write a personal eulogy, we present five steps to write a eulogy with the most important aspects that you should include.
The write& delivering a eulogy requires good preparation/structure | image source: © Stylish Tombstones.de
The eulogy, religious& secular
A eulogy is a final address to a deceased loved one. This final gift, also called an obituary, should both reflect the person’s personality and provide comfort to mourners. The deceased is remembered with memories, anecdotes and stories. Just as important as the speech is the gathering, because many mourners experience here the first moment in which they can devotionally remember the beloved person. By telling each other anecdotes or stories about the deceased, they feel connected to the other mourners. Since the eulogy takes place at the open grave, it is usually no more than three minutes long. The reason for this is the sometimes bad weather conditions, but also z.B. The age of some. This distinguishes the eulogy from the funeral oration, which is delivered after the funeral service. Since some people cannot attend a funeral, the eulogy is often printed or made available online on a memorial site. With the eulogy can be decided between a religious and a secular speech. The religious speech is usually given by a holy church representative, such as.B. held to a pastor. Biblical quotations or poems are used to give courage and hope to the mourning congregation. The secular eulogy Can be delivered by relatives, friends or a professional speaker, and provides comfort and confidence through anecdotes about the deceased’s life.
The eulogy is the last gift to a deceased person.
5 steps to writing a eulogy
Since the duration of a eulogy is much shorter than that of a funeral speech, it is important to find the right words. The speaker can be, for example, a relative, a friend or a teammate. To include the most important aspects in the speech, you can use the following five steps as a guide.
The guests should be briefly welcomed at the greeting. If not every guest knows you, because you are a friend, for example, it is also useful to introduce yourself briefly and explain how you related to the deceased. Depending on the relationship with the groom, the groom can be addressed as "duz" or "gesiezt".
Describe the personality of the person as best you can and note that it is not only your own perspective that is important. Talk to people who were important to the deceased beforehand. You usually learn aspects that you did not know before and that help you to get a better view of the character. Also the mourners will be reminded of precious moments. However, so that the eulogy does not become too long, detailed stories should rather be saved for the eulogy.
- Circumstances of death
What were the circumstances of death? Even though this aspect is sad, it should be explained in a few sentences why the beloved person has passed away. If there was an accident, fought against an illness or the will to live and ultimately lost? This devotion can also relieve the relatives, for example, when the person is now relieved of pain.
- Farewell words
The last words of the eulogy can be addressed to the mourners as well as the deceased person. They should give hope, comfort and help to let go. At the same time they escort the beloved person is the realm of death. A funeral candle can also give light in such dark times.
- Proverbs& Wisdom
Due to the short duration of the eulogy, it can be difficult to be brief and find the right words. A saying, a life motto of the deceased or a wisdom, which is given to the relatives on the way, can help here. In addition, memories, character traits of the deceased or a special event can be mentioned.
Personal words can be used to remember the deceased. | Image Source: © Photographee.eu – Fotolia
The professional funeral orator
To find the right words for this honorable task is not always easy, especially when the death came suddenly. In this case, a professional speaker can be commissioned for a suitable prayer service at the grave, whereby a decision can also be made here between a spiritual and a secular speech. Spiritual speakers are usually pastors or ministers. Secular speakers, on the other hand, are not religious and focus solely on the character of the deceased. In this case, it is especially important to talk to each other beforehand, so that the speaker can become familiar with the character and characteristics of the deceased. The cost of a funeral orator ranges from 150.00 EUR to 500.00 EUR and consists of the travel costs, the preparation and the speech. Clerical representatives of the church, such as a priest, are usually given a small donation.
Dear Annegret, dear mourners,
We are gathered here today as our beloved husband, grandfather and friend, Manfred has passed on. Six days ago he left us after his serious illness at the age of 76 and is now taking a step that we cannot be there to witness.
Manfred was a thirsty for action! From his childhood he loved nature and the tasks it entailed. Gardening was his everything. There he blossomed and was able to realize his dreams. And this laughter he also carried to the whole world. He enchanted you, Annegret, with it, his children and grandchildren as well. This smile is exactly what remains of him in our hearts. His amiable nature, the urge to make the world a better place and to be prudent.
I don’t think he would have wanted us to mourn him. Rather we should celebrate his life, just as he did! Should give him a laugh on the way as well as positive thoughts, because he is not gone from us, but only ahead.
We thank you, Manfred, that we had the honor of knowing you and that you made our lives a little richer.
Dear mourners, thank you very much for coming here today to celebrate such a wonderful life. Let us now be silent for a moment and remember the beautiful moments with Manfred.
Eulogies can be an important point for coping with grief. | Image source: © Kzenon – Fotolia
The last words, which are addressed to a deceased person and to the relatives, are expressed in a eulogy. With words that describe the character or highlight a special moment, we commemorate and remember the loved one together at the open grave. If the eulogy is held by relatives, friends or comrades, it can be helpful to stick to certain aspects to create an honorable service. If you are not able to write the eulogy yourself or you can’t find the right words, a professional graveside orator can help. This speaks in advance with the relatives and chooses through his professional experience the right words to commemorate the deceased. However, since the eulogy takes place outdoors and usually without seating, longer eulogies are increasingly being held as part of a funeral service. For further questions about writing and holding a eulogy, we are available from stilvolle-grabsteine.de gladly at your disposal.
Funeral orator& Find grave orator
If you decide to hire a funeral speaker or graveside orator to deliver the speech, it makes sense to search in your region for a suitable partner for your funeral service. A large selection of free non-denominational funeral orators in Germany can be found here
Who we are?
Natural stone is our passion, so we have dedicated ourselves to stonemasonry and sculpture craft. The loss of a loved one is painful. For many centuries, the gravestone has been a way for people to confront loss and grief, and to preserve the legacy of a loved one. We offer unique gravestones from our own production in Germany for a complete price including. Inscription and structure.
On an urn gravestone hewn as an erratic block sits a graceful bronze girl looking up to the sky. This gravestone for an urn grave convinces with its special charm
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This tombstone is decorated by a masterful depiction of a kneeling angel figure as a sculptor’s work in marble. The design of the stone angel for an urn grave is made according to a classic Italian pattern from the founding period.
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At the small village cemetery Schonflieb near Eisenhuttenstadt we were able to place this small urn grave made of sandstone. The bright color of the sandstone in combination with a filigree flower decoration makes this gravestone shine from all angles of the cemetery