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Mother of the sons of Mannheim

Mother of the sons of Mannheim

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Christian Stuckl!

"There will be no Lex Oberammergau," you dictated to the SZ in the block. And meant by that: The Oberammergau Passion Play, which you directed, although under the protection of the Most High, will be subjected to pandemic restrictions and treated as a normal theatrical performance. Which, as it stands now, means that only one in four spaces may be filled. And thus not half a million viewers get to enjoy the bitter suffering of our Lord Jesus Christ, but only 125 000. Which results in bitter suffering among the 2100 players in Oberammergau. First of all, the male population has not been allowed to shave for over a year now. And secondly, the normally safe salaries of ca. 20 million suddenly in the stars.

What to do? to cut your five-hour splatter session down to a third, in order to get through the upcoming masses of spectators in three performances per day? Not at all, you explained: "To let Jesus die three times, every day – no. That is madness. I do not want to do that."Once a day is madness enough! And which evangelical American flies to Munich for two hours of nailing – after all, you want to get your money’s worth! The Messiah allows a few monetary considerations too, doesn’t he?! Especially to you and your Oberammergaunern, who since 1634 every ten years nail our Savior so intimately and ringingly to the cross! Klingelich? Well, you know: When the money rings in the bag, the soul leaps to heaven (Old indulgence wisdom)!

Cross crucifix but also! Titanic

Your hand, ex-Beatle Paul McCartney,

your hand, ex-Beatle Paul McCartney,

we do not want to hold. But maybe you times the mouth? Because that you share your "favorite bagel recipe" with the world, as the press in this country wrote with delight, is not necessary. "The first thing I do is put Marmite on it and then a lettuce leaf, because there is still hummus on it and it drips through the hole if I don’t put lettuce on it," you revealed. Then you also add cheese, tomato slices and pickles as well as "another salad barrier, because you have to remember that there’s still a hole at the top".

At least you have proven that you have understood the structure of a bagel correctly. Congratulations. If you would shove such a topped thing into your mouth every time before an interview, it would also create a nice barrier for the salad of thoughts from your head. Because with a full mouth you will not speak as a knight, yes!

Imagines like this: Titanic!

On the Day of Volunteerism you remarked: "Millions of Germans do volunteer work – they sacrifice their own free time to help other people."To then ask the logical question: "What is the significance of your work for Germany as a business location??"

Well, dear Tagesschau, we are not sure, but: Is work without pay, from which companies profit, really called "honorary office", or was there not once another word for it?

Remains slavishly devoted to you: Titanic

Admittedly, Janus security technology,

the search for a mythical corporate name can be the purest Oedipus work. But the giant with 100 eyes, he is called Perseus.

Keep your Bacchus: Titanic

"Youth help against drugs"!

First of all, for the sake of completeness: according to your self-disclosure, you are "not connected to child and youth welfare through public or independent agencies according to SGB VIII", but are an Instagram page with an online store for stickers and shirts. These you print with sayings like "No matter if alcohol, tobacco or crack, for me all drugs are wack!", "I don’t smoke weed, don’t shoot speed, am popular with teachers! Drug-free swag, the notes on fleek, I’m an expert in this field!" and: "Pulling on the glow stick is not lit! Stay drug free and clean, that’s the hit!"

Rarely has youth language been outed in such a way. Thanks to you, drugs in schools will surely soon be a thing of the past. Nothing but fat props for that from Titanic

Who wants to judge me?

I don’t come from a rich family by any means, not even from a middle-class one, but there is a lavish luxury habit that has existed in my family for a long time, and I like to continue it today as an adult: If it rains heavily – which doesn’t happen that often nowadays – I run from the house to the car with my umbrella, open the driver’s door, get in under the umbrella with dry hair, and simply throw the soaking wet thing on the sidewalk before I speed away. So I don’t have to think about where to put the dripping part, the floor mats stay nice and dry – and a new "happy rain pocket umbrella" from dm is already waiting in the glove compartment (3,45 Euro).

Making-of poem

When I eat linguine,
Poetry immediately comes to mind,
Linguine, my ass,
Linguine, they are fine.
Maybe because in linguine –
That’s where the lingua is,
Unfortunately, this is Italian,
Rhymes I get there not fatto.

Liderlige næsebor

That it is not just an old cultural stereotype, but that the "smelling kiss" really exists among traditional Greenlanders, I have read in the meantime. Whether the nose is thus regarded throughout Greenland as the erotic sense organ par excellence – relevant erotic clubs are called "Hot Nose," "Sweet Nostril" or, since Danish is the lingua franca, "Sexet næse," with a lascivious, garishly glowing olfactory bulb on the door sign; Whether women are harassed on the street because men lustfully flare their nostrils as they pass, or Rolling Stones epigones even rely on signal-red, provocative facial gore in the band’s logo, I have yet to research.

Ella Carina Werner

For parents in turmoil (with a small child)

They do what they want down there!

New Year’s Observation

Jogging in January is reminiscent of the first semester at university. All that’s missing is the lecturer saying, "Take a good look at the people to your left and right; by the end of the year, neither will be here anymore."

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