You’ve met this beautiful woman with whom you now write and call regularly or have even had great dates. You get along great and you are falling in love with her. And still it’s terribly complicated: she doesn’t want a relationship, but keeps contacting you and showing that she likes you or has feelings and is possibly in love as well.
For us men it is clear that this behavior is not logical. Their contradictory signals drive you crazy. You ask yourself: Why the hell doesn’t she want a relationship, even though she shows interest in you?? In this blog article, I will tell you the possible reasons and give you some tips on what you can do to capture the woman’s heart anyway.
Why doesn’t she want a relationship – despite interest?
Among flirt experts and communication trainers, we speak of "mixed signals": a woman (or even a man) says one thing and yet behaves quite differently. Words, visible signs of feelings (for example, her laughing in your presence) and actions do not coincide.
It is complicated, I know. It irritates you and makes you ponder for hours what you are up against. Therefore, I would like to start by explaining to you the most important behaviors of women that seem so illogical to us men.
She doesn’t want a relationship, but she keeps contacting you
I hear this quite often from men: The woman doesn’t want a relationship, but nevertheless she is constantly in touch via WhatsApp or makes contact via phone call. The conversations are going really well, you have a lot of fun together … but still she seems to be stalling you somehow and lets you starve at the outstretched arm. Even when you meet on a date, you feel like you’re not really getting close to her.
This can be one of the signs that she only wants friendship at the moment. Maybe she just appreciates you as a good buddy to hang out with and have fun with. Maybe you are a "good friend" in need, whom she calls when the dripping faucet needs to be repaired or the new IKEA shelf needs to be set up.
Less contact sometimes means more..
If she is constantly contacting you and looking for contact, it does not necessarily mean that she wants more from you and has feelings for you. Rather the opposite: most women who are really interested want to be conquered and therefore leave the first step to the man.
She does not want a relationship MOMENTANEOUSLY, is not ready yet
"Relationship" is a difficult word for many men and women, one that sets off huge alarm bells in their heads. For most people, a partnership means not only closeness and togetherness, but also exhausting obligations and loss of freedom. If you have ever experienced a visit to your future in-laws or had to pick up your girlfriend from the train station at night in the pouring rain, you know what I am talking about.
So it may well be that she is not ready for a relationship at the moment and therefore does not want to be with you. Maybe she just has to get over the fresh breakup with her ex-boyfriend or wants to be happily single and let off some steam at the parties of this world before she starts something "serious" again.
She likes you, but is not in love with you?
This sentence "I am not ready / do not want a relationship at the moment" many men get to hear when they reveal their feelings. And in fact her reasoning can be true, as I just explained to you. But it can also be that the woman doesn’t find you sufficiently attractive and is just using this explanation as an excuse to not hurt you.
Why does she do that? Keep in mind: women want to create as little friction as possible over these issues and avoid stress with men. So instead of giving you an honest rejection and telling the truth that she is not into you, she prefers to blame the relationship displeasure on herself. That’s why she may say that she is "not ready" for a partnership at the moment.
She doesn’t want to break the "good friendship"?
Another excuse I’ve heard many a time from women myself: She doesn’t want a relationship because the friendship is more valuable to her and she doesn’t want to destroy that good relationship. Now let’s be honest: Do you really think that if a Brad Pitt or George Clooney came along, they would say the same thing?? Which person is satisfied with a friendship, when he has the chance for the great love?
So this argument with the friendship is also only a consolation plaster to appease you. According to the motto: "Hey, I’m not into you, but I’m not going to tell you that, I’m going to butter you up by telling you what a great friend you are!" Yes, women are quite crafty when it comes to charming communication …
By the way: This is how you conquer her on a date!
You want to finally get the meeting with your dream woman and conquer her WITHOUT getting a rejection? Then you have to stick to one crucial rule!
But the shocking thing is: 97% of men have no idea how to set up a romantic date and get physically closer to the woman until a lasting affair or relationship is established.
That’s why these guys end up in the friendzone as a "good buddy" or don’t even get a reply when writing anymore.
If you want to get your beloved on a date quickly and seduce her..
…then click now on the "Play Button" and benefit from my knowledge in this short video!
She has feelings / loves you, but does not want a relationship
This is one of the things that we men will never understand: Even though she has feelings and says she loves you, she still doesn’t want a relationship. How is this possible?? Well, it may be that she is afraid of something – a fear so great that it outweighs the infatuation. What is behind it?
It could be any number of reasons. Maybe she has had a bad experience in her last relationship, hasn’t been able to build up enough trust with you, or is afraid of any "obligations" that might overwhelm her. Many people do not find together also because of too large distance of the domiciles, because they do not want to enter long-distance relationships. Or she has suddenly met another man or her ex-boyfriend has contacted her again… who knows.
If you have known each other for a long time, she may also be worried that your good relationship will change overnight with an "official relationship".
Conquer a woman who doesn’t want a relationship: this is how to do it!
Before you know what to do next, you need to find out the real reasons why she doesn’t want a relationship. Don’t just listen to her explanations or reasons (beware of lame excuses)!), but above all pay attention to her flirting signals. Because it’s like the great mime Samy Molcho once said: "The tongue can lie, the body never does."
From her body language you can tell the signs if she really has feelings for you or likes you but just wants friendship. In the end, there are only 3 possibilities WHY she doesn’t want a relationship with you:
1. She sees you only as a good friend and wants to build a friendship with you.
2. She is still unsure if you are the right one for her.
3. She has feelings and loves you, but is not ready for a relationship at the moment.
With the above mentioned hints you should find out what is going on with the woman and why she doesn’t want a steady partnership. Here are my tips on how you can still conquer her heart.
Turn good friendship into love
Just being her good buddy, even though you are in love, is something we men find quite hard. In another article, I explain in detail how you can get out of the famous friend zone and still conquer the woman. Two things are especially important here:
If you have been too nice to her so far, you should drop your submissive behavior towards her. You don’t have to keep doing her these big and small favors just hoping to win her heart. Because with this you will achieve exactly the opposite and end up in the buddy track. Women find men, who say "yes" to everything, namely quite boring.
The second problem is that most men hide their true feelings and don’t even openly show the woman that they are into her – for fear of being turned down. Therefore, go on the offensive in flirting with unambiguous compliments, sexual innuendos and touching.
Avoid the irritant word "relationship" when getting to know each other
A wise philosopher I met once in the evening in the pub with a glass of wine once says to me: "The words create the reality". This also applies to the partnership sector. What I mean by this? Let me explain:
As already said, with many women a red flashing alarm siren howls in the head, if they hear the word "relationship". A real irritant. It sounds like a "contract" with a lot of obligations and loss of freedom.
This is a hurdle that scares many people. They feared that they would not be able to meet the high expectations placed on such a model by society and that they would be squeezed into a tight corset that would cut off their breathing space. But: Do you have to call what’s between you a "relationship" at all?
A simple tip: Don’t give the whole thing a name! Do not make demands and expectations! Take it easy… Just enjoy the time with the woman, meet her for a date, seduce her, even sleep with her if you like. If you avoid the word relationship, you won’t scare off your "girlfriend" and you will take a lot of pressure off the boiler.
Conquering women charmingly, without pressuring them
Again about the irritant word "relationship": how is it that this expression hangs in the air of so many couples like a deadly sword of Damocles that can swoop down at any moment to destroy the bond? This is simply because many men who meet women eventually say things like:
- I want a relationship with you!
- Is this a relationship between us?
- Why don’t you want a relationship, what are you missing?
This makes the woman feel pressured and at first she keeps her distance. So avoid this one mistake that most men make and give the lady the space she needs. Many guys believe they can fight for a woman’s love with begging and explicit offers. But you will achieve exactly the opposite: you will drive your beloved away.
Putting aside fears of loss instead of asking for a relationship
The reason for this pushing, begging and clinging by men is obvious. They think they have to close the bag by sticking the little word "partnership" like a label on a cardboard box. By the way, I used to think the same way: "Once I have the woman in a committed relationship, she’s mine and can’t run away or meet other men".
But this is a fatal error! A firm bond between a man and a woman is in fact created ONLY by emotions, never by the mere definition of a "relationship"! Because if the partner is unhappy, she will leave you even in a committed relationship and even in a long-term marriage. And how often do you hear that spouses with unfulfilling lives are cheating?
Behind this deceptive clinging behavior of us men are deep-seated fears of loss, raging jealousy and lack of self-confidence. You have to learn to let go of the reins, to trust in your attraction as a man and to make the girlfriend really happy, so that she wants to stay by your side even without this official "relationship pact" and marriage contract.
If the woman is really not ready for a relationship
Of course, it can also be that the rejection of a partnership has nothing to do with you. Maybe she had bad experiences in her last relationship (possibly even with violence), she lives too far away from you and doesn’t want a long-distance relationship, has met another man or is still in contact with her ex-boyfriend.
Then you have no choice but to wait until she’s ready. In this phase also applies: Show understanding for her situation, flirt with her charmingly, but do not press the woman! Because if you don’t, she’ll lose confidence and distance herself further and further away.
If she really has feelings, likes you and you are more than just a good friend to her, she will get involved with you as soon as the time is right. Believe it!
These tips don’t stop there..
Do you want to make the date in WhatsApp now and get closer to the woman – from kissing to affair or relationship?