Finding yourself: how to succeed at self-discovery?

Finding yourself

Finding yourself can be a mammoth task. My tips and free mini courses support you on the journey into your inner self.

30-sec. Summary

  • Self-discovery is a process. When you find yourself, you feel at home within yourself.
  • Self-discovery makes self-realization possible. By getting to know yourself better, you become clear about what you want from life.
  • The self changes through experiences throughout life.
  • You’ll find valuable tips to find yourself in this post, as well as free mini courses to get you started today.
  • All ways of self-discovery have one thing in common: we need to spend time with ourselves and honestly reflect on ourselves.

What does self-discovery mean?

Self-discovery is a process. A Journey.

Finding yourself means two things at its core:

  1. You know who you are: You know yourself and your values. You understand why you behave the way you do. you are clear about what is important to you in life and what motivates you.
  2. You are at peace with yourself: You accept yourself as you are. You feel "enough" and accept yourself with your emotions, thoughts, personality traits, goals and dreams. You don’t feel the urge to chase a foreign image.

The more you can live these two principles, the more connected you feel. Connected to yourself. Connected with your counterpart and your environment. The result: You live in harmony with your values and are authentic as a person.

So being connected to yourself leads to more authenticity in your life. Your feelings, thoughts, speech and actions have integrity. In other words: You are true to yourself. Your values are reflected in your behavior.

As we grow older, we automatically get to know ourselves better (some people more, others less). In parallel, values, goals and external circumstances change throughout life. In order to feel permanently authentic, it is important to maintain the connection to your "core" and your heart.

You succeed by constantly evolving and not rigidly holding on to old values and beliefs. The prerequisite for this is again that you Honestly reflect on your behavior patterns. It’s a shame to see that while everyone gets older, they don’t necessarily get more mature.

So that this does not happen to you, ask yourself again and again:

  • "Who am I really??
  • "What are my values?"
  • "What does my heart/my intuition want??"
  • "How my authentic life path unfolds before me?"

Why it is important to find yourself?

When you find yourself, you become a "home" in yourself find. You will learn to appreciate "being alone. Out of this comes a great freedom. Because no matter where you are or who you’re surrounded by, you’ll feel peaceful.

Emotional dependence on the "outside" decreases. You realize that your happiness lies within yourself. On your journey of self-discovery you will get to know yourself better and better. You will find out who you are and what is important to you. You live your passions.

This then flows smoothly into the process of self-actualization. Self-realization takes place when you know what is good for you and align your life accordingly. This applies to all areas of life.

In short, when you find yourself, you become a happier, truer you Life without regrets lead.

Let’s find ourselves or create ourselves?

Consciousness researchers emphasize that the "self" is changeable. Through experiences we change and develop in the course of life. So self-discovery is a dynamic process, that never ends.

In doing so, we can even determine ourselves in which direction we change.

We create our world of experience:

  • Depending on which thoughts we consciously occupy ourselves with, we color our emotional experience (our thoughts trigger emotions)
  • Depending on the situations and people we go to, we change our "self" through new experiences (our experiences shape our self)
  • Depending on the habits we establish, we choose our everyday experiences (our routines shape our experiences)

This means that we can not only find out who we are. we can also have a say in who we want to be.

What happens when we do not find ourselves?

If we do not find ourselves, we are never completely in touch with ourselves. On the one hand, there is then the danger that we lose ourselves in the eternal distraction from ourselves. On the other hand we might live in a sense of lack, because we simply do not know what we really need.

When you know yourself, you can

  • fulfill your needs and
  • interpersonal relationships lead, which enrich your life.

How do you spend your time in everyday life? Do you often distract yourself with Netflix, social media, food, work or even drugs (alcohol or nicotine)? In many cases these Distraction strategies cause us to lose touch with ourselves.

The result: Your life becomes more monotonous. Because we are neither in touch with our feelings, nor with our body. We become alienated and have trouble relying on our gut feelings and intuition.

Encounters with others are also more superficial, because we do not meet them with our whole "being". We do not let ourselves be touched. Under certain circumstances we even feel lonely because our human connections are not so deep Are what they could be.

Reading tip: If you want to change your relationships to others People want to improve, I recommend you my post what to do about loneliness.

Self-discovery means finding out about your own needs, values and goals. It is important to know what you want from life. But it is just as important to know what you don’t want. If you are not in harmony with yourself, you may have difficulty setting boundaries.

The result: Your emotional health suffers, because you never found out for yourself what is good for you – and what robs you of energy.

Tips and ways to find yourself

Many roads lead to Rome.

But all ways have one thing in common: time with yourself. Do not distract yourself exclusively in the outside, but take consciously Time for reflection. Learn to value being alone and listen to your gut feeling.

Every person is different. Because of this, there is not only one way to get closer to yourself. Find out below, what path feels right for you.

Asking the right questions (to yourself)

Asking yourself the right questions is one of the "easiest" and most effective ways, to find yourself.

Your energy follows your attention: if you consciously ask yourself these questions, you will automatically align your life with your values and goals.

Where do I come from?

"Back to the roots."

One of the most important questions in terms of self-discovery is: "Where do I come from??"

In the first years of our lives, our basic beliefs and basic relationship patterns for our lives are shaped.

According to modern learning psychology, genetic predispositions play an important role the so-called "model learning a role. This means that as children we learn from the model of our parents how to behave.

This is especially true of our relationship experiences. Simply put, if you want to find the right partner, you must first understand your learned relationship patterns and know what relationship type you are (with free test).

Ask yourself the following questions to better understand yourself:

Who am I?

The question "Who am I??" describes the question, what makes you as a person and what distinguishes you from others.

  • What am I particularly good at?
  • Which things are easy for me?
  • What am I often praised for?
  • Which 3 adjectives would you use to describe yourself??

Find out your strengths. Consciously develop them. Get feedback from your peers. Ask trusted friend:inside an honest "external image (the image a third person has of you). How do close friends perceive you? This outside perspective from the outside helps immensely to get a clear, unvarnished view of one’s own person.

I am deliberately not mentioning your weaknesses here. Promote your growth. Focus on the positive in your life and become the best version of yourself.

Where am I going?

Give your life meaning. Meaningfulness is an important prerequisite for a satisfied attitude towards life. What is your "why? Ambitious, achievable goals and desires are a strong driver.

An extremely effective method to visualize goals and dreams clearly and bindingly is the so-called vision board. Creating a vision board is the perfect starting point, to become aware of goals and manifest desires.

It is helpful to distinguish between external goals and internal goals. Inner targets concern character traits, needs, abilities, the inner attitude as well as the attitude towards life. External goals relate to family, job, hobbies et cetera.

Lead your external goals based on the following questions:

  • What do I enjoy doing and what is my passion?
  • Which things make me forget the time?
  • What are the things I can really "sink my teeth into"??
  • What interests me most in my stage of life right now?
  • How do I "do good" to others through my being?
  • What would you do if you were not afraid?
  • What positive influence do my actions have in this world??

Lead Your inner goals based on the following questions:

  • How do I want other people to perceive me?
  • Looking back, what do I want my friends to say about me as a person? (Imagine listening to your own eulogy.)
  • What feeling do I want to experience every day?

By outlining your path in life and setting achievable goals, you can get closer to yourself. You bring your inner needs in line with your outer goals.

With whom?

Together you are stronger than alone. Find the people, with which you can realize your dreams. Studies show: Good interpersonal relationships promote a positive self-image.

The following questions will help you to consciously shape your relationship environment:

  • What kind of encounters give me strength?
  • With which people I can be "me?
  • With which people do I enjoy the moment?
  • Which people support me in achieving my goals??
  • Which people strengthen my self-esteem?
  • Do I share the same worldview with my friends?

It is important, to decide consciously, with which people you spend your precious time of life.

For this there are two important prerequisites:

It is not always easy to recognize energy robbers and banish them from your life. Indeed, meeting new people is usually not the biggest problem.

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