No one likes to argue – but sometimes a conflict on the garden fence or with other tenants seems insoluble. In order to prevent the neighbor dispute from escalating, both sides should try to talk to each other and not immediately threaten the police or a lawsuit. Here are some tips on how to settle disputes peacefully.
1. Infor-mie-ren: What is the neighbor actually allowed to do??
With all potential causes for neighbor disputes, it is good to be in the picture: What behavior do I have to accept – from a purely legal point of view – and where is the arc overstretched?? Being informed often helps to keep a cool head. And you need that, so that your neighbor dispute does not escalate immediately.
For example, your neighbor is constantly too loud? You are not alone in this: Noise pollution is the number one cause of dispute in many apartment buildings. Whether it’s loud music, barking dogs or children shouting next door: on our topic page you can find out about your rights.
2. Seek out the conversation – and strike the right tone in the process
Getting quietly angry and hoping that the neighbor will come to his senses usually doesn’t change anything. You should therefore definitely Address his behavior and express what bothers you about it.
Important: Remain Calm, objective and friendly and do not impute bad intentions to the neighbor from the outset. Thoughts like "That inconsiderate jerk is keeping me from sleeping again" are a great way to get worked up – but you shouldn’t.
Maybe the neighbor didn’t realize how annoying his behavior was. Instead of ringing the doorbell with anger in your stomach and threatening to sue, you should therefore try to collect yourself and find a neutral conversation starter "I have noticed that … Unfortunately, this is a problem for me, because …" ."
3. Seek mediation and involve neutral third parties
If you don’t get anywhere this way, you should nevertheless continue to seek an understanding. A neutral third party who mediates between the two conflicting parties, can help them to develop an understanding for each other.
Because often just very different living situations on each other. Example: in the evening in an apartment building. The pensioner has eaten and wants to make herself comfortable in the armchair. But the family next door is getting three children ready for bed and there is loud shouting in the bathroom. Both sides have their needs – but how can they be reconciled?? You can talk about it and maybe find compromises.
Is the mediator another Neighbor, However, you should be careful that this constellation does not lead to the formation of camps and hardened fronts. Especially in an apartment building, where everyone lives in close quarters, there is a risk that the third party is not quite so neutral after all and has perhaps also been annoyed by the behavior of one or the other party to the conflict.
Therefore, it can be advisable to bring in a person from the outside as a mediator, for example, a professional Mediator. Find out how it works here.
4. Get the landlord on board and bring the rent-minimization into play
The landlord can also mediate on request – or, to stay with the noise example, admonish the perpetrator for a violation of the house rules and, in the event of a repetition, even terminate the contract.
However, if a common landlord holds back or simply doesn’t feel like getting involved in the dispute, the next step should be to announce that because of the noise you’re thinking about Reduce rent. Maybe this will help the landlord and he will take care of it.
Important: In the case of a rent reduction, certain rules of the game must be observed. Among other things, you must not reduce the rent too much – otherwise you may be threatened with dismissal yourself.
5. In acute cases of stress: contact the local authorities or the police – but with a sense of proportion
Perhaps you have already been so annoyed by the behavior of a neighbor that you wanted to call the police or report him to the public order office. These options are available to you in the acute case open, of course – to stop an unbearable noise or other nuisance, for example, if the neighbor does not respond to your ringing.
However, here we are already relatively far up the escalation scale. If it does not straight "burn", should be first all other possibilities of agreement mentioned so far exhausted at least if you are still interested in a good neighborly relationship. So: take a deep breath and reconsider steps 1 to 4.
6. Settle neighbor disputes in court
Talks have been of no use and the mediator has resignedly closed the file due to lack of ability to reach an agreement? Sometimes a smoldering neighborly dispute can only be settled in court – not least so that the legal situation is clearly defined and there is a chance that peace will return to the apartment building or the garden fence. Good, if you are secured in such a case.