But first of all, a little problem with our society:
Self-love is often misunderstood as blind egoism.
But it is exactly the opposite! (And find out why selfishness is actually good in this article: Selfishness: Why You Should Become More Selfish)
He who does not love himself will never be able to love anyone else either!
Or said the other way around:
If you love yourself totally, if you like yourself totally, then you are full of life energy and love and of course you want to share this with your fellow human beings.
But to get to this point, you first have to start loving yourself. And how exactly that works, I’ll show you in this article:
Bonus: Download my free 10-point guide to more self-love here including two power methods for immediate more inner strength and self-confidence!
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Banish the inner critic
The inner critic is probably the worst enemy when it comes to healthy self-love. Therefore, try to catch yourself when your inner critic is trying to put you down. And then you switch IMMEDIATELY to the "live-postive-program":
STOP, I am the program director here and I am the one who tells you what to do. And now, now I switch back to the live-positive-program and enjoy this moment and all that is GOOD in my life.
This exercise needs some training, because such an inner critic can sometimes be quite persistent.
But be sure: As soon as you have integrated this exercise into your everyday life and practice it again and again, the time will come when this inner switching will take place automatically. You don’t have to bring it about consciously anymore. It takes place all by itself, just because you have practiced it so often already.
Self-love: THE key to a happy life
All right, those were the three biggest and most important exercises you can do for instant more self-love.
In addition, I want to give you a few more tips on the way, with which you can learn self-love and practice in everyday life..
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10 quick tips for more self-love in your everyday life
- Take time for yourself
When was the last time you really had time for yourself?? Take just 30 minutes today where you really ONLY care about yourself and don’t constantly sacrifice yourself for others.
When was the last time you treated yourself?? It’s probably been a while… That’s why: treat yourself to something today. A sauna or a massage or just a walk in the woods. You decide – treat yourself!
One of the most powerful exercises there is. Think about what you are thankful for: yourself, your day and the whole world. Use a diary for this and write it down (this exercise is also great in the evening, before you go to bed – think about what you particularly enjoyed during the day and what you are grateful for)
Be your own best friend and treat yourself the same way. Think about how you treat YOUR best friend and treat yourself today exactly the same way, in word and deed, as if you were your own best friend.
No matter what was, no matter what happened. Forgive yourself. That which is past is past. Bums. From. Mickey Mouse. Don’t mourn the story any longer but let go and you will immediately feel much better.
And above all: Don’t be so hard on yourself. If things don’t work right the first time, be patient with yourself. No world champion has ever come into the world just like that. Take the time you need to do the things you need to do. And be good to yourself instead of putting yourself down (which also doesn’t help you much)
In the morning in front of the mirror. On the way to work. In contact with your fellow human beings. Just smile more often. And do it CONSCIOUSLY and you will see, your inner state and your love to yourself will immediately change into the positive one. There is nothing more healing than smiling every now and then throughout the day.
If you have done something well or achieved something, then be proud of yourself. Give yourself the time and space to congratulate yourself for your accomplishments and be proud of them. People with a strong self-love are proud of what they have achieved (And self-love has nothing to do with selfishness – I’ll explain in more detail below)
These were my best exercises and tips to strengthen your self-love and bring it to a new level.
Unfortunately, many people confuse self-love with egoism, which is why I will now explain to you why self-love has absolutely NOTHING to do with egoism:
Why self-love has nothing to do with egoism
Self-love and egoism
The term self-love is often mistakenly equated with selfishness. People who take care of themselves are labeled as narcissists.
This self-love has nothing to do with blind egoism. Just the opposite is the case. Only self-love can ultimately make the bud of charity blossom:
Self-love is the first step
away from egoism and towards altruism
Everywhere you go, people are instilling in you that you should be selfless. Self-love is used synonymously with egoism and egoists are "fie".
Your mother, your school and your religion – they all want you to act selflessly, to be helpful, to give yourself for others.
No problem so far.
However, the most important thing is often forgotten in this equation: You yourself, YOUR person.
- How will you ever be there for others if you are not well yourself??
- How will you share love if you have none yourself??
- How can you give energy to someone when you have none yourself??
First YOU have to feel good, so that you can do good to others. If you don’t love yourself, you will never be able to love anyone else.
Self-love is the root of charity
So get rid of the belief that self-love is something bad. That is not true. Loving yourself is the best and most important thing of all.
Bonus: Download my free 10-point guide for more self-love here including two power methods for immediate more inner strength and self-confidence:
Self-love and altruism
Maybe you know such days:
You are doing well, really well, and now you want to share it with your fellow human beings. You do not ask for anything in return. You have no thoughts that the other person owes you anything now. You just give. Because you enjoy it. Because it fulfills you. Because it enriches the world.
These days are the best days ever. And this state is at the same time what man secretly strives for. The state of total self-love, in that the self dissolves in the end. The state in which there is no more I and you, but only a we.
This state is the non plus ultra. This is true altruism!
Self-love: Your only responsibility
Forget everyone who expects you to take care of others first.
Start to love yourself first. Discover your own love and only THEN take care of others. But not because others expect you to do it, but because YOU want to do it!
Respect yourself, take responsibility for your life and make yourself priority #1. Because remember: you can’t give what you don’t have.
Self-love is therefore your first and only task.
Summary (plus bonus video)
Self-love is important. Sau important. The most important thing of all.
Self-love has nothing to do with egoism. It is exactly the opposite. When you truly love, the self disappears and you become a generous giver. To the giver without ulterior motives.
If you don’t love yourself, you can’t love anyone else in this world either.
Therefore love yourself. Develop immense self-love. Make yourself priority #1 in your life and help because YOU want to, not because you are asked to.
And in the end you will realize: The more you love yourself, the more others will love you too!
Here is another video I made specifically on this topic. Also, in it I address the question of what is the best thing to do when others accuse you of being a selfish person:
PS: My guide on how I managed to detach myself from others and fully stand up for myself and my needs, here in my book. Read, apply, implement and feel good&