Learn how to flirt: 5 pitfalls & 9 tips from a woman for men

Many men don’t know how flirting works. It is almost always the first step to a happy relationship or a passionate affair. We’ll show you how to change the image of the "pick-up guy and at the same time wrap your counterpart with your flirt art skillfully around the finger.

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This is why learning to flirt is worthwhile

This is why learning to flirt is worthwhile

The reason many men no longer approach women in person is fear of rejection. Many do not expose themselves to it any more, because it can be done easier in the meantime. Dating happens on apps, social media and co. Keeping a safe distance and knowing that both are visually appealing gives a sense of security. Chat gives you time to think of a good answer and hides nervousness behind a virtual veil (tips against inner restlessness). However, when it comes to the meeting, the good old flirt art is still required.

In addition, many women are rather skeptical about first contact via the Internet. This is exactly the social condition you should use to stand out from the crowd and successfully make a first personal impression.

9 tips for the perfect flirt

The following 9 tips, written by a woman for men, will help you learn how to flirt properly.

Overcome your speech fear

Train journeys: Prima suitable for learning to flirt

Practice makes perfect. If you have trouble approaching women, you should – before you start flirting – learn to make a keep the conversation flowing make. It’s all about harmless conversations in everyday life. To do this, initiate situations where you can approach women, for example at the train station or on the train, at work or in the city (tips for getting out of your comfort zone). Consider a few questions in advance. Exactly how you start the conversation is not so important at first. The trick now is to maintain and expand a conversation after their response, even if their answers don’t offer any concrete potential to do so. To practice, just a few minutes are enough. The important thing is to build up over time, the to prolong conversations and to deepen. If it comes up, have the courage to ask her for a date. What can happen except that she says "no"? You are unlikely to find a girlfriend within your own four walls. Every conversation with a woman gives you more routine and eventually leads you to success. Now an example of how you can set up a simple practice conversation with a woman.

A train ride is the best time for a little small talk. Even though you’re sitting right next to her, you don’t seem pushy. The Inhibition threshold The chance for her to physically avoid you is greater than in the city when she’s in a hurry anyway. It is unlikely that she will simply get up and move. For example, start the conversation with "May I sit with you??" and continue the conversation directly. If you sit down first and then think about what you could say, even more courage is needed to start a new conversation, since silence has already prevailed between you. You could ask her where she’s going or where she’s from and tell her about where you’re headed. Even if you see a woman with a heavy suitcase, you can offer her your help and then sit with her.

Learning to flirt: practicing conversation starters

Learn to flirt: Practice starting a conversation

In order to learn how to flirt properly, the second step is to Conversation starter to improve. Try to stand out and be original. Refrain from cliched sayings or phrases. Lies are also quickly recognized by women. Also, it doesn’t always have to be a question that you confront her with. Interesting statements about her or your surroundings are just as suitable as Conversation starter.

If you want to give her a compliment, make sure you don’t lay it on too thickly. Sayings like "You have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen."She has certainly heard this before and will put you in a drawer. It is always helpful to pick up the situation. Scoop this Potential of your environment out and thus involve her in a conversation. Look at them unobtrusively. If you notice something special about her that might reveal something about her personality, talk to her about it. Personality references lead to success faster than flat statements about her body.

Show self-confidence

A self-confident man is not so easily rejected (tips for more self-confidence). In addition, he beams Masculinity and Leadership potential off – qualities that most women highly value in men. Even if you are actually nervous, you should not show it too much. Otherwise you will devalue yourself and she could conclude from your insecurity that you also think that you cannot enrich her life. You should find a healthy balance here. Extreme overestimation or delusions of grandeur are not likeable traits. Self-confidence should not manifest itself in the form of self-love. Subtle evidence of your independence is quite enough. If you approach her confidently, make concrete statements or suggestions and do not immediately leave her at the first "no", you demonstrate willpower and are more likely to succeed.

Flirt properly: Less is more

To make it clear that you are interested in her, you don’t always need a mountain of compliments right away. Finally, you should not take her for granted and have value. Moreover, you devalue yourself by idolizing her from the start. As a rule, women are more attracted to a Earning compliments, as if it flies to them without much effort. Of course, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t show her your appreciation. Actions and body language are better ways to show her that you are really interested in her than words.

Don’t forget that when it comes to styling, less is more. In general, the following points should be kept in mind:

  • Refrain from flashy colors or fancy styling.

First impressions should not be overwhelming and you can’t go far wrong with plain clothes. If you are unsure, ask female friends for their opinion.

  • Your perfume should be well dosed.

There is nothing wrong with a little perfume. However, an intrusive scent not only shows insecurity, but may even motivate the woman to keep her distance from you, as the smell is too penetrating for her.

  • Pay attention to your body and face care.

If a woman has the impression that you are unhygienic, your chances of a mutual flirtation decrease considerably (tips against impure skin).

Pay attention to physical contact and body language

Pay attention to physical contact and body language

Physical contact Build up subtly making it clear to her that you do not have friendly intentions. So you do not accidentally end up in the Friend zone and use her body language to find out if she is interested in you (How to escape the friend zone).

Physical contact can take the form of Subtle touches express. The lightest level starts at her arms, shoulders and upper back. If she retreats or reacts in a restrained manner, you should slow down your pace a bit more. Follow this with hands, waist and hips. These are the parts of the body you should touch only after she has not rejected you in the previous stage. In any case the touches should be be gentle and purposeful to also show her your tender side. This is how you combine determination and strength with consideration and empathy. When you have gotten to know each other a little, you can hug her goodbye.

Pay attention to Signs of embarrassment. If she plays shyly with her hair, occasionally avoids your gaze and laughs at what you say? Then you can be sure that she is interested in you. If she talks to you in a friendly manner, avoids your movements and even tries to end the conversation? Try your flirting skills on another woman.

Proper eye contact in flirting

Proper eye contact in flirting

It is particularly important that the Eye contact not be so intrusive that the woman might perceive you as a threat. Never stare and make sure that you smile when you look at her. People usually send out a lot of information subconsciously via facial expressions. If your eyes roam around her from top to bottom, she feels patterned and thinks you are only interested in her body. If you rarely look at her and your gaze often avoids her in conversation, she may interpret it as a signal of disinterest.

Demonstrate empathy while flirting

Women enjoy the feeling of being understood. By responding to what she says and referring to it directly, you let her know that you are both interested and attentive. She must not have the feeling that you are bored. Appreciation is the basis of successful flirting. Disrespect, carelessness and self-centeredness will make any flirting mood fade away.

Be considerate and try to put yourself in her place. Empathy and emotional intelligence are the most important things here. You should avoid ambiguous statements or jokes that can cause political discussions. Many men make the mistake of only letting the woman do the talking. The speaking part should be balanced and present you as an ambitious conversationalist. Do not be afraid of emotions. An animated, passionate conversation conveys a very good flirting atmosphere and directly contributes to actually getting to know the character. Always watch her facial expressions and try to see if she is following the conversation.

Initiators are more successful than opportunists

Learn to flirt: don’t be afraid of rejection!

Do not be afraid to take the lead. The myth that women are happier when they get to decide everything should be banished from memory (tips for easier decision-making). Specific dating suggestions in flirting conversations are turned into action more quickly. Pull the woman with you enthusiastically, instead of having a listless conversation with her about where and when you could meet. If she rejects a specific proposal from you because she doesn’t have time, try a new one until she says "yes".

Express your opinion calmly in the conversation. Strong character Men have much more attraction than men who do everything a woman wants without hesitation. You don’t have to like every one of her suggestions, nor does everything she says have to be right. The attraction of a flirt is often also that you challenge each other.

Show your own value

If you want to persuade a woman to give you her number, it’s similar to a sales pitch. The goal here is to present you as an asset that she can get with her number as a key. Give her the feeling that you Enriching your life and that she will miss out on something if she does not give you her number. Convey to her in a charming way why she should give her number to you and no one else. For example, talk jokingly about your character traits, suggest crazy dates or lure her with a surprise.

5 pitfalls to learn when flirting

When flirting you can do many things wrong and often a mistake ruins your good impression, which you have worked hard to achieve. We show you five of the most common mistakes men make when flirting and how to avoid them.

You want too much too fast

You want too much too fast

On the one hand, physical contact is almost indispensable in flirting. On the other hand, you should be careful not to besiege the woman with touches from the beginning. Many women then pull the ripcord and flee the situation. Rather increase bit by bit and have some patience. As a rough guideline you should also Conversation level serve. If you get along well and she starts to open up to you, then you can also physically take the next step (How to build trust). If she remains cool and distant, wait a little longer and ask her some personal questions or tell her something about your life.

Flirting from the top down

Many women like dominant men. But dominance usually has nothing to do with the typical alpha male behavior. If you talk down to a woman, you spoil your chances too quickly. So don’t make condescending comments about her appearance or behavior, and don’t address her as "Hey sweetie" at. It is much more attractive if you use such a phrase with a pinch of irony, for example, if you already know each other a little bit. Flirting should be more of a fun teasing Be more interesting than simply displaying your own superiority.

You interpret too much

Many men overinterpret the signals of a woman. But not behind every message is a disguised message. Listen attentively, but don’t put every word on the gold scale. Otherwise you’ll only drive yourself crazy. Besides, women want a man who is more busy with his life than worrying about her messages (tips and exercises for personal growth).

You use excuses for flirting

Many men still think that women are only attracted to rich or extremely good-looking men. But they are usually completely wrong. Often it is then the self-confidence diminished by this way of thinking, what seems unattractive. So abandon thoughts like "She would never want me" or "I’m not in their league". Often this is just an excuse to avoid talking to the woman.

You are afraid of uncomfortable breaks

You are afraid of unpleasant pauses

Awkward pauses – the nightmare of every flirt? That’s how many men think. Maybe you are also afraid of not being able to say anything more. Just this pressure to always find "something interesting" to say, but leads to the opposite. The head becomes empty, the tongue heavy. But basically, unpleasant pauses in the course of a flirtation are even good. Because the infamous spark usually happens in the quiet moments between you. And even kissing is difficult when one of the two talks constantly. If you try hard to keep the conversation going all the time, you will look too eager. Instead, show the woman that you remain calm and feel comfortable even if no one says anything. Often women make the first move even in these moments.

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