Men should approach women, so many think until today. But why? Men are equally shy or inhibited to approach women. You know about your role – that actually the man should approach the woman and finally you do not dare to do so. How many promising relationships might not have happened for such reasons?
We have compiled the best tips for you to do away with the stereotype of male-dominated flirting.
Wouldn’t the man perhaps be pleasantly surprised?
Imagine seeing a man you’re really interested in sitting in your favorite coffee shop. A thousand thoughts flash through your mind. Should you approach him? What if he is in a relationship? What if he rejects you? Or maybe he’s actually not your type at all?
Stop: Before you settle into your comfort zone and push the thoughts of the attractive man aside – what if you approach him and everything goes well??
Insecurity is a big problem of women and men. Showing someone you’re interested in them frees up a space where you might feel hurt. So it is better not to get into such a situation?
No! But in order not to confront the man directly with a situation that he himself first feels too far outside of his comfort zone and therefore does not want to go further into it, our advice is:
Make it as easy as possible for the man to approach you!
This is first a perceived step backwards from the progressive idea that women just approach men and everything goes well from then on. However, the nature of the man shows that he wants to be the conqueror at least in his thoughts. So let’s make it as easy as possible for him.
How do I get him to talk to me??
Eye contact is the be-all and end-all here. Let your eyes do the talking, because they are the key to a successful flirt. No matter where you are, whether in the canteen, on the bus, in the office or at the airport. Eye contact always establishes a first connection. Through it, you can quickly find out if there is an interest and thus give the man the opportunity to approach you.
Important with eye contact: Do not stare! Play with your gaze. Send him a smile. Always look away. The permanent change of looking towards and away with a short smile, is a direct flirt invitation.
Make contact in a subtle way
If your chosen one can’t see you because your view is blocked or he’s busy with his buddies, you have to become more offensive.
Still applies the rule, do not scare the man. But in a relaxed mood there is more to it than in the canteen or in the office at the photocopier. You might go to the counter to get a drink.
Maybe you just ask him what he drinks, because you would like to have the same thing. This could already be an icebreaker and lead into a conversation. If he even lets you try his drink, the first step should be more than accomplished.
If smoking is allowed, or if you are in a smoker’s corner, just asking for a light is a way to start a conversation.
In all cases, you should make sure to keep the conversation going. Now small talk is called for!
Know what to say beforehand
Once you get past the first step of making contact and you’re trying to get a conversation going, it’s best to have some small talk down beforehand.
In many cases a conversation arises automatically. However, if your chosen one belongs to the shy ones or is perhaps surprised by the situation himself, it helps a lot to have topics that are not only about the weather. A lighter can already be an incentive for a topic here.
During small talk at the photocopier or in the canteen, numerous topics will already arise for professional reasons alone. In such cases, it would be advisable to try to bring private topics into play as well, in order to find out whether the chosen one is taken or interested at all. Sometimes this can develop into a great friendship.
Pay attention to body language
Not only the eyes speak volumes, the body sends numerous signals, which show a counterpart, how one is set to it.
If the person you are talking to turns away and answers your questions only sporadically, you should not continue to try to establish contact.
Such behavior does not automatically mean you’ve been turned down. It can also indicate extreme insecurity or fear of response from the other person. Nevertheless, one should keep one’s distance. Perhaps the chosen one comes later nevertheless again toward one.
Which topics should you avoid?
Various surveys on the major singles exchanges have asked the worst "no-gos" for the first flirting conversations.
At the top of the list are past relationships, illnesses, the desire to have children, and political controversies. These topics slay the first sparkle and go too far for two people who barely know each other yet.
Topics like vacation destinations, hobbies, and other interests (music, movies, favorite foods) can make the first meetings feel light and tingly and give you a chance to get to know each other further until you eventually get to the deeper topics.
Important: Never hide your light under a bushel. Self-confidence is important to find the right man. Gate closing panic is always a bad advisor.
And: If a man is really interested, he wants to spend time with you and is interested in really getting to know you.