Getting to know someone: How do I tell him that I like him without him leaving the country right away?.
You find someone great? And ask yourself the question – how do I tell him that I like him without him leaving the country right away?? Here’s an idea, you need a windowless, soundproof room, you’re going to steer him in under some pretense. Then you close the double, soundproof steel door, lock up, swallow the key and you’re good to go. Danger recognized, danger averted, though that probably falls under deprivation of liberty. Crap.
It is complicated. Since when is it so hard to stand by what you feel?? Warning, this article DOES NOT CONTAIN THE ULTIMATE PAUSCHALL SOLUTION, because, SURPRISE, unfortunately, there is not. Too bad, I know, the matter is indeed complex, resp. you make it yourself the big mountain you have to climb later on. In this case I am master in standing in my own way. After several years of actively dedicating myself to self-love, I’m now coming to the point where it’s about standing by your feelings.
In the past I have honestly failed miserably at it. According to the motto – Before I say something wrong, I’d rather say nothing at all and think about it, and if you think too much, you create problems that don’t really exist at all. Do you want to climb together with me this further Mount Everest, then it goes now, however on a good mental preparation we cannot do without, because otherwise we run out of air sometime&
AND SHE RAN LAUGHING INTO THE CIRCULAR SAW! we want to avoid at all costs.
1. Be clear about your feelings
If you think now, I can skip this point, are you really sure about it?? When you know what you want REALLY If you want to be loved, it is absolutely advantageous. Butterflies in the stomach, a tingling sensation, a warm shiver runs through the body, you can’t stop thinking about the person – congratulations, you are befuddled by oxytocin. I used to think that when I met someone I liked, with whom the sparks were just flying – it was fate.
But at this point – NO IT IS NOT, because actually you are only manipulated by hormones and all this for the purpose of FORGING. This high frenzy is nothing more than a chemical reaction, due to compatible pheromones and it is best enjoyed when you have no expectations of the other person, otherwise the butterflies will be nailed to the wall quite quickly. If you know all this, you can learn much better to deal with your feelings and assess them correctly.
MUCH MORE INTERESTING AND EVEN MORE IMPORTANT
– am I really in love with the person or is one more in love with love, meaning love addiction or a relationship addiction? This is a question you probably ask yourself rather rarely or? The line between love and relationship addiction is narrow and I think everyone who has never learned to be happy alone makes himself more or less dependent on the potential candidate. Relationship addiction means that we are addicted to human closeness or a relationship and it tends to be less about the person being adored.
In the getting to know phase: If you demand to be loved by a certain person, then you already make yourself of this person dependent. Problem, when you are addicted to a relationship, it feels like love to you. For many, it is also a sign of love to sacrifice, to persevere, to fight, to bend, to forgive, forgive, forgive after one’s ideals and values have been trampled on again and again. Does not sound exactly like love or?
2. How is your time together?
Spending time together is the best way to get to know someone. Not how you imagine it, but how it really is. Love lighter wings should carry you and not the shadows of doubt. It often happens that you fall in love with your own idea of someone more than the person really is. Avoid parallel dream worlds please. It should just feel good, the next meeting should not be an act with the aftertaste of tough gum. Whereby here the time factor is not meant, but the feeling, which one has thereby.
The more emotionally independent you are, the more days in between can be "endured" well. A balanced getting-to-know phase should bring the extra smile to your face and not give you a headache. Love is … to see someone as HE IS. Not how you would like it to be. Because you also want to be loved as you are and not as someone would like you to be ..
The time together is wonderful, you do something together, it’s fun, it feels good, you get closer … here it can happen that someone suddenly withdraws, but this does not necessarily have to become a drama, because it is in fact a common behavior. I have read some guidebooks, written by men. Everyone confirms this behavior and gives the all-clear for now. Instead of going on and on about it now, use the absence for yourself. Often the other person reports all by himself, in any case a good alternative to running after&
Let’s assume everything is going great and has been for a while – let’s take the famous two months, because that’s when it often happens that we are subconsciously alerted due to previous relationship and getting-to-know-you patterns. You think about it!
3. Thoughts: What is it with us now?
This question is completely justified after a while, because after all, this foreign person has really grown on you within a few weeks. It makes you laugh, it’s the many little things that turn an infatuation into a bond like love. He holds his hand on your forehead to protect it from the open closet door. The deep looks in between, where you have the feeling you would burn. Fooling around in bed with affectionate touches on the cheek and hands that find each other and won’t let go. THAT IS SO BEAUTIFUL. Who doesn’t think about whether it will be a memory or maybe something with a future, as soon as the mind carousel is activated, it often gets complicated.
WHAT IS IT WITH US NOW? Instead of asking the person directly, one sits situations, tries to anlyze the behavior of the other to somehow give oneself answers to the thousand questions. But no matter what conclusion you come to, it won’t change the uncertainty because it’s all based on speculation. One can certainly provoke the other with certain behaviors, test how the other reacts to certain things. PLEASE NO GAMBLING at this time, because often you end up outing yourself. When you make someone feel like you don’t care about them, don’t be surprised when they don’t care about you. The more confident someone is, the less they can handle such tactics and eventually get annoyed. I am speaking from my own experience.
I value authenticity, honesty and that someone makes me feel good. Would I open up with someone who keeps giving me the cold shoulder? Rather not or. If you want to know where you stand, you should first open yourself, you know what I mean. Now pretend to be extra cool and be of the opinion that this is all quite relaxed, but to mentally masacre yourself beyond recognition can backfire quite badly. Because whether you like it or not, a small suitcase with the chaos of thoughts accompanies you at every meeting and that has a radiation like plutonium. Blame is ours HEART MAGNETFIELD, it is 500-5000 times stronger than that of our brain.
A magnetic field that influences the nervous system of other people and can still be measured several meters away from the body. It could be proven that the electromagnetic information patterns of the heart generated by one person are measurable in the brain waves of a second person. THAT EXPLAINS SOMETHING, I know. Every time our suitcase opens near the person, he notices it and doesn’t know what’s going on. UNSECURITY doesn’t feel good with the other person either and they don’t know why suddenly your closeness has such a negative connotation.
4. Say what!
Many keep silent and subconsciously poison the bond with gaaaaaanz many fears. It is not enough to make it up with yourself. Often you think it’s too early, the other still needs time. WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? I know that as soon as you open your mouth and stand by your feelings, the other person gets scared and it’s all over. That can be, but then it will be over in a few weeks anyway. Actually, you don’t really have anything to lose. By being more considerate of the other person’s feelings and desperately trying to push your own into a dark corner, an imbalance is created.
Love starts in the head, fears and courage too! When you tell someone you like them, it’s a compliment. It is not a burden, a cage or the end of freedom. Everyone creates his own mental prison. actually it is nice when someone feels more for you. Some unfortunately can’t handle it so well, because they immediately feel responsible for the feelings and are afraid of not fulfilling the expectations. This is also ok and has a lot to do with their past, you can’t just flip it like a switch.
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