In Germany there are a lot of male singles who would like to approach women to get to know them. Some people find it easy – for others it is a big hurdle to make the first contact.
You are insecure and don’t really know what to say – after all, you don’t want to scare the woman away with silly remarks.
The good news is – flirting can be learned. In this flirting tip for men I will give you a few suggestions on how to overcome your "inhibitions" about approaching women be able to overcome. You will also learn a few "no-go’s", that you should refrain from.
Approach women: The lump in your throat ..
Many inexperienced men make the mistake of approaching a first contact with too high expectations. You want to do everything right, arouse the interest of the woman and get into conversation with her. But stupidly you get at the spontaneous "cold start" problems, have weak knees, a lump in the throat or stammer only confused nonsense.
If you have unsuccessfully missed the first contact with your beloved, the disappointment and self-criticism follows on the foot – the self-confidence sinks – you feel ashamed.
From the point of view of brain research, it is interesting to note that our brain always stores emotions together with the context as an experience. So if a similar experience is updated in the future, the stored emotion will be brought up again. In other words – we get weak knees just by "thinking" about it to approach a woman.
Therefore, it is important to experience successes that are linked to positive emotions. But how can you be successful if you have not yet mastered flirting??
How to approach women: Overcoming inhibitions
The first step is to admit to yourself that you have not yet mastered this thing and that you have something to learn. If you want to learn something new, it is normal that you can’t expect any records at the first attempts. After all, a beginner in a sports course would not expect to know everything after the first lesson.
If you want to learn intelligently, break down a "big problem" (or challenge) into small, solvable steps. But how can you apply this consideration to the subject of "approaching women"? transfer?
First of all, make it clear what exactly your problem is. For example, if you have very great inhibitions to say anything at all, pick one of the following exercises:
Learning to approach women: exercises
1. Making contact with strangers
Start with something easy – for example 10 strangers in the city, at the bakery, in the department store, etc. – and then try again. Greet people in a friendly manner within an hour and observe their reaction to you. If you have inhibitions with women – approach men. It is completely irrelevant how these people react. Significantly, you should make a first move and gain experience.
Some people will ignore you – others will give you a smile. This will help you to get a feeling for when and how people react positively to an approach.
2. Learning to make small talk
If you no longer have any inhibitions about approaching a stranger, you can develop this skill by making short small talk. Smalltalks can be well introduced by asking questions that just fit the situation. Set yourself a time limit – for example, manage 3 smaltalks in one hour.
The goal here is to elicit a few sentences from the other person on any topic – to learn something about them (no matter how important or unimportant). You can talk about the weather, the taste of coffee, last weekend, etc. talk – the only important thing is that you get a short conversation going or that you talk to the woman. Learn when to encourage whom for a short chat.
3. Use these exercises with women ..
Many find it easier to first approach women with whom you do not want to flirt at all, d. h. it is ultimately not so important how they react. To lower the hurdle, you can also choose strange women you already know a little – z. B. the neighbor or a colleague at work.
4. Learn to give compliments ..
Look for the positive in a person and compliment at least one person every day for a week. Learn which compliments are accepted and which are ignored. People like to hear positive things said about them, but they have different opinions about what is appropriate and what is artificial are.
This way you train your sensitivity, empathy, and observation skills. In addition, a positive side effect is that if you can elicit a smile from people, the sympathy you receive will increase.
5. Expanding conversations – learning to ask questions
If you have done these exercises, you will find that the ability to "ask interesting questions" and try to "present yourself well" will be more effective is the key to a conversation.
Many make the mistake of "talking others to death" and try to "present yourself well, to impress with successes or similar nonsense. Such self-promotion is usually only interesting for the speaker and nazi egocentrics act as conversation killers in most cases.
Questions, on the other hand, are door openers – they show the other person that you are interested in him/her. Once you have learned to get an interesting conversation going by asking questions, you can transfer your experience to women as well.
Approach women in the right place
Choosing a suitable location can make it much easier for you to strike up a conversation with women. Positive examples would be: the workplace, courses, seminars, trainings, at sports, discussion groups, singles’ meetings, festivals, parties, etc. – in other words, any kind of event where communication between the participants is already established. Thus, the event itself already provides you with the "reason" to approach others – after all, one has come to do something in common with others.
If the event has any theme – for example, a dance class – you can pick up on this theme right away, since it fits the situation and obviously has something to do with the woman’s interest. In addition, it is usually neutral enough and thus likely that the woman does not feel immediately taken by surprise. The advantage of neutral or noncommittal topics is that they represent a very low inhibition threshold for the conversation partner. You can talk about neutral topics with almost anyone – but with intimate topics you will be very selective about who you talk to.
Regular events have the advantage that you always have new chances to talk with the woman. You are not under pressure to make everything connectable the first time around. Since you know that you will meet the woman again, you can take your time to create a congenial atmosphere. In addition, such events offer the opportunity to observe the woman’s reactions. This makes it easy to find out what interests or annoys them.
Flirting tips: When should I flirt with a woman?
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When is the right time to flirt is determined by the woman! The optimal case is that your beloved starts flirting of her own accord. If she does not, you should definitely pay attention to the woman’s signs and respect them.
If you do not give the woman positive signals such as "a smile", A longer conversation, a friendly greeting, etc. can elicit – you can also forget about flirting. A woman who is interested in you will eventually take the initiative herself and do a little more "than is necessary".
No one can predict if and when a woman will react positively. So don’t put yourself under any pressure to succeed. Learn to be rather "lovable – this also increases the likelihood that a woman will notice your "kindness" recognize and be attracted to them.
Have fun and success when approaching women – or better – getting to know an interesting person!
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