We can love someone but still develop feelings for another person. The only question to ask here is whether they are serious, true emotions. Whether it can actually be that one can feel true love for more than one person. Whether there will always be someone you love a little more and, whether you might have missed something in the first love that the second person just has to compensate for.
Opinions are divided as to whether one can love two people at the same time. There are psychologists, like Markus Ernst, who think that love takes up so much space, head and gut, it is difficult to imagine doing this with two people at the same time. On the other hand, there is Danuta Prentki, also a psychologist, who is convinced that it is is definitely possible from a biological point of view. She also adds that in the course of evolution, it would actually be good if we fell in love more often. But what is true now, if you believe to know to love a second person?
Understand what the heart really wants
Easier said than actually done. But when you start listening to what you want, you should know where you stand. And when it is said that you should listen to your heart, it is meant that you really have to do it. You should forget about all the things that steer you in one direction. It does not matter what society thinks about it. It also doesn’t matter if you hurt someone through it. You have to find out only and alone what you feel. And should that not be done, then the probability of someone getting hurt is higher anyway.
Somehow you know what love feels like. Even if it may differ from person to person. The basic emotion, you know. Listening once more, it doesn’t hurt. On the contrary.
Do I really love the second person or do I no longer love the first??
In order to answer such a question, you really have to be honest with yourself. Even if you were actually happy in your relationship, something may have been missing. Something found in the new person. And maybe that makes you so happy that it becomes love.
So it may be that you were not as happy in your relationship as you may have once been. Whether you can only admit it to yourself when suddenly a new person, who completely enchants you, stands in front of you, is quite possible. And then suddenly you feel like you love two people. Whereas the reality is much more that the second person is loved, the first one is only appreciated. Understandable, because a simple falling out of love, that happens only reluctantly.
However, it can also happen that the situation is completely different. That one loves the first person, but only finds the second interesting. It does not always have to be love when you are attracted to someone. At the end of the day you are only human and there will always be other people who will fascinate you. However, this does not necessarily mean that there is something wrong in the relationship, nor that you have fallen in love again.
However, what if you are really in love – with both of them?
Yes, there is. You can fall in love with two people at the same time – or even in several. So if you live in a relationship, love other people too, but your own partner anyway, then it is called Polyamory. This is a form of love life, in which you love several people at the same time. And, if necessary, also live with everyone in a relationship. However, if one lives polyamorously, then all the partners know about each other. Because the intention is that every single relationship is long, trusting and full of love.
So you can say that you can definitely love more than one person. You just have to listen to what you want. You can allow yourself to do what you feel like, even if others around you live differently or say that it is not possible. You yourself know best how you feel. So everyone should love the one they want and do what they would like to do.