Big moment: who says ‘i love you’ first?

A moment ago it was just flirting, but now it’s getting serious. Now it gets exciting: Who will pronounce the three magic words first – and what does it mean for your relationship??

Pärchen in love on roof terrace

It is one of the first highlights in a love relationship: Who will be the first to pronounce the three words?

Many do not say ‘I love you’ spontaneously. They think long and hard about whether it’s too soon or whether it wouldn’t be better to wait until their partner finally confesses their love and then follow suit.

Is there a perfect time at all?

Why do we sometimes stay silent for so long?

Often it’s not a lack of affection and attraction, but insecurity that silences us.

Saying ‘I love you’ and not being sure if the other person feels the same way makes you vulnerable.

What if the other person takes the relationship less seriously or is simply not ready yet??

In fact, it is a sign of strength to dare. If your gut feeling was right and your partner is as in love as you are, he or she may even be grateful and feel encouraged to say the words as well.

If your partner is serious about you, but he or she is simply not ready for vows of love, then you have forgiven yourself nothing.

You’ve revealed how you feel and that you want to give your relationship a perspective.

What if your love is not returned?

It can happen that the answer to the three famous words is simply an icy silence. Or that you are told that this relationship is not serious and that your connection is more temporary – just a flirt, just sex.

This may pull the rug out from under you and make you feel like a dork who missed the point.

Still, you have nothing to be ashamed of: You have confessed your feelings. There’s nothing wrong with that.

And maybe this is the moment when you can take off the rose-colored glasses and see you both a little more realistically. It’s up to you then what you make of it and whether you want to say goodbye.

You love each other, but your partner can’t say it?

Maybe you’ve teased it out of him or her in rare moments, or your relationship is so close and reliable that you just know it. Yet your partner may not like to say it and may say so.

Or you have different ideas about how often you should verbally express your love: Some greet and say goodbye to each other every day with ‘I love you,’ prefer to say it in between and write each other little notes with love messages.

Others save these words for very special moments and fear that inflationary use will wear them out or devalue them.

No one is right or wrong here. Every person is different and expresses his feelings differently. Maybe the person at your side is rather silent and secretive, but prefers to show you this love through unconditional loyalty and helpfulness, tender gestures or great surprises.

Then you can learn to understand this language better. If you really look, your partner may have already shown his love a thousand times in other ways.

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