Like most women, you often shy away from approaching a man you like? Can you do that at all, as a woman to approach a man? Normally it is the man who takes the initiative.
So how can you approach men without seeming pushy or even scaring him off? Here you will find countless tips and tricks on how to approach a man you like in a relaxed way.
The old-fashioned belief that a man must make the first move is still deeply rooted in society
Until today it seems for many people (men as well as women) unfortunately not to fit into the usual role understanding that a woman addresses a man. This view has long been outdated – we live in the 21st century. The 21st century and emancipation has already been in our society for decades. But the image of the man as a "hunter", which dates back to the Stone Age, still persists today.
By the way, various studies have shown that always very often the woman has made the first move to get to know you. Namely, she sent him clear signals through eye contact and body language expressing her interest in him. Only the actual addressing was then "done" by the man.
Many men would be happy to be approached by a woman themselves and not always be obliged to make the first move. For there are also shy men who simply do not dare. They are usually afraid of rejection and therefore don’t even approach you – even though you might be just their type. Then it would be a shame if you let this opportunity for a flirtation (or more) go by unused.
How to approach men without scaring them off?
What you should not do:
Under no circumstances should you approach him too directly, for example with the words "Hey, I like you, I want to get to know you"!"No man expects this and he would probably only look at you in surprise. Such a sledgehammer method is therefore not a good idea!
You should always approach the man alone, even if you are out with friends. Most men feel overwhelmed when several women approach him at once.
Topics of conversation such as illness, your ex, trouble at work or political issues have absolutely no place in a first flirtation! Simple small talk is the order of the day!
This is the right way:
Always make sure that you are alone Eye contact had.This doesn’t mean that you should stare at him – that would probably make him uncomfortable. Look at him again and again – but then also away again – and shortly afterwards look again. This is an unspoken flirt invitation that every man should understand.If your eyes meet, you can give him a nice smile.
Also watch out for the little signs that can show you that he is not averse to getting to know you. This can be, for example, the return of eye contact and your smile.
A unmistakable sign of his eyes, that he finds you well is the following:
His eyes widen for a moment at the sight of you, his pupils dilate a bit and he raises his eyebrows slightly. To see this you need some practice and you have to look very carefully. The best thing to do is to sit down in a street cafe for a while in the summer and watch the men around you looking at you when a pretty girl in a miniskirt walks by. Then you will quickly know which look is meant!
If all signs are positive, then do not hesitate long but act according to the motto "eyes closed and through". The longer you wait, the greater your insecurity and your fear of a rejection. In addition, there is the danger that your crush leaves the location at any moment and then it is gone for the time being, your chance for a flirt..
By the way: men are also happy about honestly meant compliments! So dare!
Give HIM the feeling that he has approached YOU
You don’t want to open the door right away? Then it is a clever tactic to make him believe that the initiative comes from him. You only have to give him a suitable occasion for it.
Different places – different opportunities: Addressing men made easy
There is actually no place where it is not possible to approach interesting men. You should always start the conversation according to the place and situation. This can look completely different depending on where you are.
Below you will find a few suggestions on where and how you could use the opportunity to approach an attractive man. Basically, you can adapt and apply all the ways suggested here to other places as well.
In public transportation
Even in a crowded train you can flirt
If you are often by bus or train on the road, then you may have seen there from time to time an attractive man and wondered how you can probably do it to get into conversation with him.
Here the good old weather is always a good hook for a conversation.
But you also have a few other options:
- At the bus stop while waiting: "Phew, it’s hot today – I hope it’s not so stuffy on the train again" or when it’s raining "I hope the bus isn’t late, I’m already soaked to the bone"
- On the bus or train: "Man, it’s cold today, I’m freezing to death. Fortunately it is at least warm in here."
- The last free seat is next to him? Nix like to go and ask whether here is still free!
- You could also ask him where you have to get off in order to get to XY. He will be happy to help you here as well.
Approach a man in the fitness center
Flirt place gym
In the fitness center it is not a big problem to approach men. Just pretend that you don’t know how to use the machine and ask him, smiling a little helplessly, for his help and a little instruction on how to train on it properly. Every man will be happy to help you with that!
Afterwards, you can thank him and casually ask if he’s always here at this time of day. This way you will at least know when you can meet him here again. Since you already "know" each other, you can at least greet him nicely in the future and make some small talk now and then while you are training. If he is interested, then he will be happy to respond and a date is very likely.
The flirt in the supermarket
You can recognize singles by the contents of the shopping cart
You discover while shopping a great guy who fits exactly into your Beuteschema? Then, before you go on the attack, you should check two things with an inconspicuous look: Is he wearing a wedding ring?? What does he have in his shopping cart?
He is not a ring bearer and there are chips, beer, wine and a frozen pizza in the shopping cart? Wonderful! Single man dethroned – so nothing like it!
But how then…
In a supermarket there are countless opportunities to approach men. Here are a few tried and true tactics you can use:
- You point to his frozen pizza that he has in the shopping cart (or just something else suitable) and ask him if he has tried it before and if he can recommend it to you.
- You stand next to him at the shelf, take out a product and talk to yourself a little "Oh – that looks nice!". At the same time you turn a little to him and smile at him. If he likes you, he will take this opportunity and start a conversation with you.
- Go for the male helpfulness and ask him to hand you an item from one of the upper shelves.
- Or you can avoid taking a shopping cart or basket and carry your purchases in your arms. If you see an interesting man, then quickly grab 1-2 larger items, so that you can hardly carry everything and ask him with a nice apologetic smile to help you carry them.
Approach men while shopping in the city
Especially on Saturdays you meet a lot of men while shopping
Where is the highest density of men during a shopping trip?? Correct: In the electrical department (or in the electrical market) and in the men’s clothing department! Both excellent places to get his male advice. Men like to shine with their expert knowledge (electronics) or their good taste (clothing).
Don’t forget to mention in the men’s clothing department that you are looking for a gift for your brother, brother-in-law, father, uncle or something else. Otherwise he will think you are looking for a piece of clothing for your partner and your chances of getting to know this man better will drop to zero.
At the electronics store, just stand next to him and look with interest at the items he’s interested in. Then you just pretend that you would like to have something like that, but you are not sure what is the right thing for you. Also here he will be happy to help you with his knowledge.
As a small thank you for his advice you could invite him for a cup of coffee afterwards.
By the way, you can also approach men in this way in the hardware store!
Making contact in the cafe
Just sit down at the table with him!
Imagine you walk into a crowded cafe and see the man of your dreams sitting there. You could ask him if there is still a seat available at his table and if you can join him. Then you should not hesitate long and immediately start a conversation with him.
In this case the topic "full cafe" would be appropriate. Tell him that you have never experienced it so crowded here and whether he is also here frequently. And already you are in the conversation.
At a private party
Opening beer bottles – for many men a proof of masculinity
you are both at this party shows that you already have at least one mutual acquaintance: the host.But how can you start a conversation?
The easiest way is the good old beer bottle ?
What man doesn’t like to prove his manliness by showing how he can open a beer bottle without a bottle opener?. Be it with a lighter, a key or other objects – men can usually do this quite well!
So ask your crush to open your bottle and the first contact is already made. A good follow-up question would be how he knows the host or what else brought him to this party.
Approach men in the pub or in a club
In a party mood it is easy to talk to men.
In the relaxed atmosphere of a crowded pub or disco, it’s relatively easy: find a reason to walk past him with your drink, make eye contact and toast him with a smile. If he is also interested, he will definitely respond.
If your crush is a smoker and you are, don’t miss the moment when he goes outside to smoke. Again, it’s simple: pretend you don’t have a lighter and ask him for a light. After that you can make small talk directly, z.B. about smoking, the pub, lost lighters, etc.
On the street
Ask him for directions!
Ask him for directions! No matter how well you know the area – he doesn’t know that! It’s best to choose a target that is in his walking direction. Maybe you can even ask him to accompany you for a little while, so that you’re sure you’re on the right track.
Men like the feeling of being needed and you will hardly experience that a man refuses you this small request – unless he does not know his way around this area himself!
Talk to the nice neighbor
How about the classic? You want to bake a delicious cake in the evening and you have run out of eggs. Ring hm’s doorbell and explain the situation to him. He will be happy to help you out.
The next day, when you bring him back the eggs, you can surprise him with a piece of your homemade cake as a little thank you gift. Best on a porcelain plate of yours. He must bring it back to you at some point and you are already in contact again.
This would be a good time to invite him in for a coffee, beer or other drink.
At least in southern climes, approaching men on vacation is child’s play: You forgot your sunscreen in your room? A desperate rummaging in your pocket makes the whole situation even more believable. Surely HE can help you out – and you are talking already. If he even agrees to rub lotion on your back, you’ve already won!
If the beach or pool are far away in your vacation region, you can of course forget the trick with the suntan lotion. Here you could ask him for excursion tips or a good restaurant nearby. Maybe he might even accompany you!
The cell phone tricks – always and everywhere applicable
HE is also happy to help you!
Another cell phone trick only works if you have a very big and quite full bag. Draw attention to yourself by frantically rummaging in your oversized bag, look at him and say "Crap, I can’t find my phone!". Then ask him to call you briefly so you can find your phone more easily with the help of ringtone, vibrate and glow.As old as this trick is, it works well again and again. Adjust something on your smartphone’s settings, whether it’s the language, ringtone, wallpaper, or something else that you could fix yourself if need be and that doesn’t particularly affect you when using it. Now you wait for a suitable opportunity until you notice that he has his eyes on you. Then do not hesitate for long and fiddle with your smartphone with a desperate look and impatient muttering. If your eyes meet when you look up it is the right time to ask him for help.
And already not only he has your number but you have his too! If you still do not get into the conversation, you could show him later a WhatsApp message and thank him again for his help.
What else you should keep in mind when approaching men
Please do not use "flirting phrases!
No matter where you want to address men, you should not do one thing at all: Use any hackneyed, memorized Anbaggerspruche! Men are just as annoyed by such sayings as women are. The Gfahr that the man after a Flirtspruch quite fast the escape seizes is thus very large!
Try to start the conversation naturally, go into the current circumstances or. the just common situation. Do not pretend or bend, but always remain authentic and with a nice smile on your lips.
Pay attention to his reaction and body language
After addressing him, always pay attention to his reaction and body language. If he crosses his arms or looks around the room but not even at you, these can be clear signs of disinterest.
Probably he is just too polite to give you a clear rebuff. In this case you should react quickly and end the conversation in a friendly way. After all, you don’t want to get on anyone’s nerves!
It is better not to approach stressed men
It is better not to approach a man who is obviously in a hurry (perhaps he only has a short break at work or is about to meet someone) or who seems very tense and annoyed.
A stressed man has everything else on his mind at the moment, but definitely not flirting. In such a case you would be almost sure of a rejection. You can save yourself this frustration!
You’ve approached him, but how do you keep the conversation going now??
To avoid an awkward silence after the approach and both of you standing around embarrassed, you should think in advance about how to keep the conversation going. Look around your surroundings and make nice or with pleasure also humorous remarks about this. Be it the pub you are in, your common vacation spot, common acquaintances at a party and, and, and…. There you will surely think of something suitable!
You can talk a little bit about how you feel about it and then ask him how he feels about it. If he mentions something about himself, you can Interest show and follow up. Concentrate especially on possible Common ground you have, that automatically brings you sympathy points!
Do not drag out the conversation unnecessarily
The first approach is about a little small talk first. Your Aim should be a date be at a later time. This means you should get around to exchanging numbers if possible.
Does he make no effort to do so, but you still have the impression he is not averse?
Then say goodbye after a while with a little white lie: "I’m sorry that I have to end our conversation, I still have to urgently …. If you like, then get in touch with me so that we can talk further another time."
With these words you write to him your cell phone number and now it’s up to him to get back to you – or not.
A rejection is not the end of the world!
Please never let a rejection bring you down! Maybe the supposed single man already has a partner and is just alone on the road. But maybe he just likes a completely different type of woman. All of this happens and is absolutely no leg break for you. Every woman (and every man) gets a rejection now and then!
Just think of it as a valuable learning experience and an Practice flirting with the right man to.
You will notice that the more often you approach men, the more practiced you will become. And if one day an absolute dream man actually stands in front of you, then you can perhaps address him naturally, easily and confidently.
Practice makes perfect – bwz. the master
If you have never approached men before, then it makes sense to practice this on men who are not necessarily your type. But please make sure that you don’t get the man’s hopes up – otherwise it would be quite unfair!
If you are really VERY shy, then you can start your practice with mundane things like asking a man in line at the supermarket checkout what time it is. With time, your self-confidence will grow and you will be able to approach the more "complicated" cases.
So you develop a certain routine in addressing men. You will notice what goes down well with them and what does not. You also learn to deal with a rejection and are then much more confident when you want to approach a man one day who actually makes your heart beat faster.
Always stay relaxed
Men notice immediately if you are tense or insecure. This is not very attractive and reduces your chances with him significantly. So make sure that you always approach him confidently, naturally and with a nice smile. And in no case let your nervousness show!
A little humor has never hurt at this point and creates a relaxed atmosphere right away. In any case, the address should always be to natural and rather casual manner take place.
Addressing men as a woman – the bottom line:
Of course you can approach men as a woman! What you should pay attention to and how you do it best, you have now learned. The best way to approach a man is to ask for his advice or help. So you do not dredge too obviously and you also give him the opportunity, to impress you as a woman with his knowledge and skills. And what man does not like to do that?
Now it is up to you to get into the implementation. Have fun and good luck!
How do you feel about women approaching men?
What experiences have you already had with this??
What tips do you have on this subject?? What has worked particularly well for you?