Learn to say “no” with these 5 tips!

Learn to say "no" with these 5 tips!

Of course everyone likes to help out, but what if the requests get out of hand and you end up feeling overwhelmed and come home overly stressed out. Saying "no" is important for your self-protection. Keep this in mind. If you don’t set clear boundaries, the risk of depression and burn-out is many times higher. So make self-determined decisions.

Some info in advance

Often we say "yes" too quickly. Where does it come from? We like to just be blindsided with a request and respond intuitively. Go over in your head how much time, energy and strength you can devote to the task at hand?!Saying "no" is a learned behavior. There are hardly any people who manage to say "no" in absolutely any situation.

Often there are all sorts of reasons that prevent you from speaking your mind clearly. Psychologist Marcus Biebl notes: "For some people, upbringing plays a major role. Others are afraid that if I say "no" the relationship with the other person will suffer".

So the real issue in the "saying no" circle is not the person asking you for a favor or the situation you are trying to avoid. The enemy is your own fear! To conquer this fear, you need a sense of achievement. Little by little, you should resolve to say "no" more.

5 tips that will make it easier for you to say "no".

Tip 1: Take time to think before making a decision.

Therefore, it is very helpful to always take a small moment to briefly analyze the situation.

Tip 2: Find out why it is so difficult for you to say "No.

Some examples of reasons we say "yes" too often:

  • The fear of being rejected and no longer liked
  • Fear of consequences
  • You don’t want to come across as selfish or heartless
  • The need to be needed
  • Fear of missing out on something

Tip 3: Be clear about the price you pay when you say "yes".

Feel free to calculate how much time it costs you to do tasks for others.

Tip 4: Allow yourself to say "no.

Realize that you are not a bad person if you say "no" once in a while. So it is your right.

Tip 5: Learn to say "no" the gentle way.

You should clearly communicate your "no" but not be too forceful about it. Justify your "no", show understanding, say thank you. Of course, you can also make a counteroffer.

Still ask yourself the questions if there are advantages to not saying "no? Have thoughts that you are more likely to be liked if you do this, or that others will see you as reserved and selfless? Avoid feeling guilty or avoiding conflict by doing so?

Saying "no", like any change, starts in our head. You must first look at the characteristics that are negatively associated with it and realize that there may be another way. You have the same right as everyone to express thoughts and wishes. By doing this, you are not immediately seen as a selfish person – on the contrary, by doing this, you are also showing Strength and self-confidence. This can even be impressive to others.

In order to be successful and really move forward in life, you need to say "no". Formulate clear goals, which you want to achieve on your way. To move forward career-wise, clear boundaries are essential. Your private life should in no case suffer, or at worst compensate for your "not saying no" at work. Pay special attention to this. It also shows enormous backbone.

Conclusion

Often the following phrases can be very helpful for you:

  • "I feel blindsided at the moment, because you want me to make a decision under time pressure. Give me ten minutes and then I’ll let you know."
  • "I can understand why you wouldn’t like it if I said "no" right now. But I don’t want to be made to feel guilty about it."

Calmly realize that your energy and time are important to you. You are important to yourself. Even if you say "yes" when you want to say "no," you are being selfish. Why? Because then you will want to buy the other person’s affection and favor by saying "yes". You say "yes" for the sake of peace and quiet, to make yourself look good. So give yourself permission to say "no" internally.

It is also useful to practice saying "no. Set yourself ready-made sentences or formulations. Try to play through the different situations mentally. Realize not to jeopardize your well-being to do others a favor. Be sure to come up with diplomatic answers and justifications.

Two shortcuts to successfully "saying no":

  • Define your own priorities!
  • Build self-confidence& Build self-confidence!

How to do this? Be clear about what is most important to you in your life. Then figure out whether or not you’re compromising your priorities by doing a favor. Think about compromises. See "saying no" as a tool of self-confident and successful people. Use your character traits and thereby learn to work with your fears.

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